I know it sounds weird, but I'm enjoying this line of conversation and wish to chime in -- as a woman who made the decision NOT to have children. My husband and I both had "starter marriages". As in, only a few years involved, no kids, no property. We married (me in my late 20s, he in his mid 30s). My bod is very intolerant of most birth control methods in that time. One day we sat down and I told him that something had to give; were we having children or not? One way or another, I had to go off birth control. We took a very cold, calculating look at it, and decided NO was the answer, and I took care of the problem. Now I'm watching my friends with their 20 and 30 something (age) children. I've had no regrets at all, and as I get older and watch my friends' children get in trouble and STILL need mom & dad to bail them out (sometimes literally), we know we made the right decision.
Questions you need to ask yourself:
This one is obvious, but it takes both a Mom and a Dad to raise a child. Yes, I've known both single moms and single dads. A child is a lifelong commitment, and if you cannot make a lifelong commitment to your spouse, believe me, you have a rough row to hoe when it comes to children. If your marriage isn't rock-solid, please don't have a child.
Do you think a child of yours will be "little me"? Get over that notion right now. Your child will be him/her self, not something you can mold into what you'd be if things were perfect. Nothing is perfect, and that child is that child.
You've got a minimum of a 20 year commitment. If you ever looked at the military and thought it was too much of a commitment to too much discipline and authority, then you have no business even considering a child. A child takes much more self-discipline, a longer commitment, and believe me, there are a lot of authoritarian figures out there who are going to tell you what to do and when to do it.
Don't overlook finances. Ouch!
As I write this, I have freinds my age who are dealing with their kids' problems, and their children are in their 20s and 30s. It never goes away. You can swear you won't babysit grandchildren, but they show up on your door step.
The discipline you are lax on when they are 5 shows up in many forms decades later. As I joke with a friend, her mom found it easier to make the bed herself than train her to make the bed. The result is an adult who cannot live on her own. This means a toilet you could wash in under a minute might take a half-hour or more so you can teach junior to do it.
You can hand that child over to various forms of day care ... but don't kid yourself, you aren't raising a kid you see for a few hours a week. That other person is. If you're lucky, you'll get someone like my mom, who will raise your child wisely, with good, nutritious food and appropriate discipline. But no matter how much you try to vet them, you'll never be sure.
I'm just touching the tip of the iceberg. But when it comes to having children, if in doubt, just say no. You can always adopt later if you change your mind.
By the way, I have many friends in their single digits or teens. As Edith Piaf said, I have no regrets.
. Two more children followed,but as that marriage fell apart--i declined on his offer for a fourth baby--I'm crazy,but not insane(haha).When my youngest daughter was 11 i found myself once again a mother to be 
. Telling the father to be just after his 42 birthday-came as a little shock. Our little guy was not planned,but a surprise that happened when being on the pill i became very sick and was put on antibiotics....The shock has worn off and we are enjoying everyday ----except for those days when he gets into the nail polish remover and it removes the paint off the dressers and finish on the computer monitor(yesterday was not a good day)
