Going MIA

[MrsLMB]

I've been on and off for a while now.

It's now time for me to just leave.

When I first came here it as a fun place and lots of great information was shared.

In the past year though there has been a shift.

There is a lot of bitching, challenging, arguments, put downs etc.

I tried just leaving for a while to see if it was really my perception of things, but it is not.

I have sent a few of people over here in the last few months and I was told no thanks, those people are mean by one person and the other wanted to know what they had done to me that would make me want them to be in a place like this where there was so much nastiness.

I apologized to them and assured them this was not normal.

However ... I am now eating my words to them.

I do not expect a single one of you to bother with me and my post because it seems there are very few - if any at all - who are willing to step back and take a look at how mean you are.

The bickering and putdowns and insults are running rampant here.

There seems to be a core group who firmly believe they are better than the rest and take no concern about insulting other people.

You all wonder why new people don't stick around .. well take a look at some of the mean things being said.

It matters not to me anymore as I am done.

But I post this rather than just walk away because I hope that perhaps you will slow down a moment and take people's feelings into consideration before you lambaste them with your superior knowledge and before you make them feel small for asking a question.

You seem to forget that at one time - you were also the same way ... learning.

Goodbye and thank for the good times and best of luck to all of you.

 

[Addie]

I am sorry to see you go. I do understand what you are saying. And you are so right. But for those who are being attacked constantly, if they don't register a complaint with the moderators, there is not to much they can do. They can only respond to a complaint.

I myself have been victim of one person in particular. For the longest time I just kept quiet and kept my mouth shut. I thought that by failing to respond to my attacker, the problem would go away. But one day the line was crossed and I did register a complaint. Since then the attacks have gotten to be fewer and not as severe. Now I notice that my nemesis has started the attacks toward other members. I have let it be known that I will no longer be a passive participant to this behavior.

Good luck. You will be missed. You have been a major contributor to this forum and I am sad to see you leave us. May I suggest that you lurk in the background and when you see that the tone has changed for the better, please reconsider returning to us.

 

[vitauta]

I got a note from him right before he vaporized. Basically saying the same thing. Now that it's football season I'm really missing him. We would send PMs every once in a while about our Brownies. Now that they are having a less crappy year, I wish I was getting his take on the team.

PAC get BACK here! Go Browns!

i don't know...the timing of pac's dropping out seems just a tad suspicious to me, coiniciding, as it does, with football season and his wildly popular PPPC thread--(pac's personal pigskin challenge). do you suppose pac is taking a break from the pressures of yet another season of those demanding cooking projects that had attracted a near-obsessive following by some of us dcer fans?

 

[Cooking Goddess]

Don't think so vit. He beat around the bush more when he sent me a PM a while back, but I think his mood was along the lines that is driving MrsLMB away, along with others.

***


Mrs. L, sorry you have to go. Sometimes some people just won't grow up, but instead have to pick fights and be right. I know that flaw keeps popping up in me sometimes. Almost every time, I'm smart enough to cancel a post after I compose it - once I read it over in preview it just says "you know you're better than that". ~ Take care, and we'll pass in the night on some other social sea...

 

[Addie]

***

Mrs. L, sorry you have to go. Sometimes some people just won't grow up, but instead have to pick fights and be right. I know that flaw keeps popping up in me sometimes. Almost every time, I'm smart enough to cancel a post after I compose it - once I read it over in preview it just says "you know you're better than that". ~ Take care, and we'll pass in the night on some other social sea...

I have done that many times. I refuse to be goaded into an argument. My motto has always been, "Love your enemies. It will drive them crazy!" It is hard to argue alone.

 

[buckytom]

oh, c'mon addie. you know you haven't done that many times...

 

[Addie]

oh, c'mon addie. you know you haven't done that many times...

Now you have me blushing!

 

[buckytom]

darn, i was looking for an argument.

mrs lmb, i understand what you are saying, about leaving and coming back to find the site much nastier than it was once.

i left for a few reasons a year ago (one legal, one personal) and when i came back i was shocked at how many little jabs some folks were taking at each other.

i figure that things change, though. sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. but then they change again. sometimes even better, sometimes, well, you get the idea.

the only thing that's constant is change.

i figure if i'm gonna be a part of the community here, i'll just try not to get sucked in to the crappiness and hope things swing back up. quitting isn't in my dna, nor is drama.
comedy maybe, but not drama. that's why i never said anything after i left. i figured i might come back one day.

i hope you will consider that, too.

 

[CWS4322]

MrsLMB, I for one, will miss you. I have been the "object" of attack. It has hurt my feelings, it has made me angry, it has also resulted in me registering complaints. Some of the attacks have accused me of being arrogant, etc. My personal life since 2007 has been horribly difficult--financially, emotionally, and physically. There were weeks where I did not answer my phone because the only calls I got were from creditors--the Forum (and The Girls) were the only things that kept me going.

I agree, there are some members who seem to enjoy challenging others, putting them down, and not playing nice in the sandbox (and you know who you are). I suggest you take a break--lurk. That's what I did. I also have blocked those who don't play nice--that way, I don't get tempted to read their posts.

You have added so much to the DC family. I hope you reconsider.

 

[CWS4322]

Speaking of MIAs, I miss Chopper (and pac). Where did Chopper go?

 

[Addie]

MrsLMB, I for one, will miss you. I have been the "object" of attack. It has hurt my feelings, it has made me angry, it has also resulted in me registering complaints. Some of the attacks have accused me of being arrogant, etc. My personal life since 2007 has been horribly difficult--financially, emotionally, and physically. There were weeks where I did not answer my phone because the only calls I got were from creditors--the Forum (and The Girls) were the only things that kept me going.

I agree, there are some members who seem to enjoy challenging others, putting them down, and not playing nice in the sandbox (and you know who you are). I suggest you take a break--lurk. That's what I did. I also have blocked those who don't play nice--that way, I don't get tempted to read their posts.

You have added so much to the DC family. I hope you reconsider.

I was thinking earlier today about doing the same thing. Blocking those who feel like I am their personal victim. I don't know why I have put up with it for so long. My way of coping with the attacks wasn't working. So the only way left to me is to block them. I will not allow these folks drive me from this forum. I have made too many good friends here to allow that to happen.

I am not sure how this works. Does the other person get a notice that they have been blocked? Or is it that I just don't get their posts appearing on my screen?

 

[Somebunny]

Speaking of MIAs, I miss Chopper (and pac). Where did Chopper go?

I tried to PM you CWS, but could not.



Sent from my iPhone using Discuss Cooking

 

[CWS4322]

I was thinking earlier today about doing the same thing. Blocking those who feel like I am their personal victim. I don't know why I have put up with it for so long. My way of coping with the attacks wasn't working. So the only way left to me is to block them. I will not allow these folks drive me from this forum. I have made too many good friends here to allow that to happen.

I am not sure how this works. Does the other person get a notice that they have been blocked? Or is it that I just don't get their posts appearing on my screen?

I don't think so, Addie. You will see that the person has responded to a thread, but you can't see it. It works for me. And, love you best! The Girls do too, don't you dare leave. I'd miss you so. (And Myrtle would probably try and figure out how she could get to Boston).

Myrtle: Purple Flight Suit. Can I follow the Canadian Geese?"

BC: "Myrtle, you're NOT going to Boston."

Myrtle: "I want to go live with Big Chicken Auntie Addie!"

BC: "Myrtle, she lives in an apartment."

Myrtle: "I could adjust. Where did you hide my flight suit?"

BC: "Myrtle, you can't fly that far. You can barely fly 10 feet."

Myrtle: "What? I thought you Big Chickens invented airplanes!"

BC: "Oh, Myrtle. Come here--I've got a piece of cheese for you."

Myrtle: "I love cheese. Would Big Chicken Auntie Addie give me cheese?"

 

[CWS4322]

I tried to PM you CWS, but could not.



Sent from my iPhone using Discuss Cooking

Let me check my PM settings (darn Myrtle, she must have changed them).

 

[Mad Cook]

I was thinking earlier today about doing the same thing. Blocking those who feel like I am their personal victim. I don't know why I have put up with it for so long. My way of coping with the attacks wasn't working. So the only way left to me is to block them. I will not allow these folks drive me from this forum. I have made too many good friends here to allow that to happen.

I am not sure how this works. Does the other person get a notice that they have been blocked? Or is it that I just don't get their posts appearing on my screen?

I've used the "ignore" feature for two people on here who annoy the h*ll out of me by their bitching both at me and at others. I don't know if it tells them they've been ignored but it puts a message up on the thread telling me there is a contribution from X who is on my ignore list. You do have the option of un-ignoring them if you are really curious about what they've written but mostly I can't be bothered.

I'm with Addie and others. I'm here because I want to be and I will not be driven away by some spiteful loser(s) with nothing better to do than be nasty to others on the forum. We are all here (hopefully) to have a good time and to share our successes and disasters and to ask for and to offer help to each other and, for goodness sake, to have fun.

I don't suppose Mrs LMB will be getting these posts if she's signed off but do you suppose she's receiving PMs? Do PMs find their way to the recipients usual email addresses?

 

[buckytom]

testing, 1, 2.

testing, testing.

sibilance. sibilance...





did everyone get that? just checking.

 

[MrsLMB]

Yes .. I am receiving the posts here as well as many private messages.

I must say I am quite impressed with the outpouring of understanding I have received.

It's good to know I am not alone in seeing these things here, but sad to know that it is permitted to continue.

I have replied to everyone who has written except for CWS - you still don't have your pm settings open.

I appreciate the suggestion to block people and will most certainly do that.

How sad that so many want to enjoy this place but have to put up with the same old stuff from the same people over and over again.

I will never refer another person here because, quite frankly, some of you can not be trusted to not bully.

Shame on those of you who take great pleasure in dismissing human beings with genuine concerns and questions and double shame on those of you who think your opinions are much more important than others.

We shall see how this goes ... if nothing else at least the conversation has been opened and maybe now people won't be afraid to stand up for themselves.

 

[Mad Cook]

testing, 1, 2.

testing, testing.

sibilance. sibilance...





did everyone get that? just checking.

Coming through loud and clear.

 

[CWS4322]

Yes .. I am receiving the posts here as well as many private messages.

I must say I am quite impressed with the outpouring of understanding I have received.

It's good to know I am not alone in seeing these things here, but sad to know that it is permitted to continue.

I have replied to everyone who has written except for CWS - you still don't have your pm settings open.

I appreciate the suggestion to block people and will most certainly do that.

How sad that so many want to enjoy this place but have to put up with the same old stuff from the same people over and over again.

I will never refer another person here because, quite frankly, some of you can not be trusted to not bully.

Shame on those of you who take great pleasure in dismissing human beings with genuine concerns and questions and double shame on those of you who think your opinions are much more important than others.

We shall see how this goes ... if nothing else at least the conversation has been opened and maybe now people won't be afraid to stand up for themselves.

Thought I fixed that today. You don't have to reply to me, I understand. STAY, please, STAY.

Don't let the bullies chase you away. And those of you who are new and causing a bit of unrest to this wonderful forum, maybe you would like to go back to 2011/2012 threads and read through those. This is a place where people who like food and are foodies like to hang. I know that this is place I like to hang. I've met many great people here.

 

[Mad Cook]

Yes .. I am receiving the posts here as well as many private messages.

I must say I am quite impressed with the outpouring of understanding I have received.

It's good to know I am not alone in seeing these things here, but sad to know that it is permitted to continue.

I have replied to everyone who has written except for CWS - you still don't have your pm settings open.

I appreciate the suggestion to block people and will most certainly do that.

How sad that so many want to enjoy this place but have to put up with the same old stuff from the same people over and over again.

I will never refer another person here because, quite frankly, some of you can not be trusted to not bully.

Shame on those of you who take great pleasure in dismissing human beings with genuine concerns and questions and double shame on those of you who think your opinions are much more important than others.

We shall see how this goes ... if nothing else at least the conversation has been opened and maybe now people won't be afraid to stand up for themselves.

That's it, girl - up and at 'em. Don't let anyone drive you away from where you want to be.