Mudbug's Hot Tub for Refined Ladies Who are Kind to Animals

[Katie H]

How about an Etiquette School?

A charm and finishing school, a program that will show them how to present themselves with grace and charm.



Don't know about the finishing school idea. I kinda think they're already finished. Charm school might be a good plan. Buck may already have a leg up there. A few years ago he won first place in a womanless beauty pageant. Quite a sight. Long gown, blonde wig...and cigar. Yep, the charm school is a good idea. Sign 'em up! If we can get any of them to look and act like Tom Selleck, I'm in.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

How about an Etiquette School?

A charm and finishing school, a program that will show them how to present themselves with grace and charm.

(Bucky's head pops up from the middle of the hot-tub) Watch him ladies! He's got a torpedo and he's not a fraid to use it! (girls squeel with laughter as little plastic torpedoes shower them from Bucky's two foor plastic subamarine).

Hey Bucky! They said they're gonna send us to Charm school, you know, like in the Brawny Paper Towel Comercial. I'm tellin ya right now, no charm school is gonna refine this Northern country boy. And I know what guys from Jersey are made from, and it aint refined.

Let's give 'em something to complain about. (All three men submerge and pull the ladies underwater by their ankles. The women can't tell shere they will strike as they are hidden by the bubbles of the hot tub. Guys pop up while the women try to regain their feet.)

Hey guys, there's ten of them, and only three of us. Think we can hold 'em off?"

To be continued...

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Oh ladies. I already know how to present myself with charm and grace. I've even had ballroom dance classes. I can tango, cha cha, foxtrot, waltz, and a host of other ballroom dances. I can converse about nearly any subject in an intelligent and interesting manner. I can speak perfect English, with nary a contraction, and certainly no double negatives. And many are the young ladies I have charmed before selecting my wife. But as for the sedate charm & grace life, that's just a bit boring most of the time. It has its place, and that place is somewhere else.

So you see, the school would be lost on me, as I choose not to behave in a completely civil manner.

Bucky, Ronjohn, I have the liverwurst, brats and such locate on the patio table. Shall we dine?

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Buck]

When we have liverwurst and brats we do not "dine," we EAT! Let's have us a proper feed and show these wenches what it means to be sated!
Buck

 

[Alix]

Holy crap! I leave for the day and come back to find the entire patio trashed! You boys get back here right now and clean up this mess! If you don't behave better than this we will have to put the razor wire back up! *Grumbling as she starts sweeping up all the napkins and brat detritus*

 

[Half Baked]

I'll go get the garbage bags, Alix! They have the manners of wild bears. This place is just nasty.

*picking up tons of beer bottles, wrappers, plates, glasses, silverware.....*

 

[Buck]

Glasses, silverware??????
Who in the world uses them????????

Buck

 

[Katie H]

Geez, Alix, they trashed the place. They've strewn charm and gentility all over the place. (Katie picking up a bit of slimy sliced onion.) Pew! And, look, they've even made all our cute little rubber duckies float upside down. Poor babies! Look what those barbarians did to you. Alix, do you think razor wire would be enough?

My, oh, my, Half Baked, look at the pile of yuck you've scooped up? Why are you cleaning that mess up? Let's get on the horn and get the goons over here who made this mess? Where's the phone?

 

[mudbug]

Ahem.

Katie and I have consulted. Alix and Jan, please stop cleaning. We have help for that. We are going to "decorate" the lake site.

Doilies are going down on all the tree stumps they park their rageddy behinds on.

"Lilac Mist" air freshener is going in their outhouse, along with pink polka dot ruffled curtains.

I've let a dozen clipped poodles have their run of the place, with strategically placed bits of meat to ensure that they never leave.

Wait until they try to drink the beer in that keg. It's got a secret ingredient even ronjohn never tried.

 

[Anne]

I haven't been here long, but this is such a nice way of meeting you ladies. The water is just the right temperature, and I love these birds of paradise you have floating on the surface. So tropical! Pepe, how kind of you to offer! Is that my mai tai? What a way to spend a Sunday!

 

[Katie H]

Ahem.

Katie and I have consulted. Alix and Jan, please stop cleaning. We have help for that. We are going to "decorate" the lake site.

Doilies are going down on all the tree stumps they park their rageddy behinds on.

Oh, mud, beautiful job. I'm so excited!!! I just ordered the perfect 10-man tent for the guys. They're going to LOVE it. It's the latest Barbie one and is the most fabulous shade of pink. It comes complete with pretty sleeping bags and everything. The advertisement said it was an "EZ Set-Up" tent, so that means even the most Neanderthal of them can put it up. Isn't that great?

Oh, hi, Anne! Glad to have you join us. Please excuse the little mess. We had an incident here the other night with some of the guys. We'll be back to normal real soon. But do enjoy your mai tai. I think I see Pepe bringing it now.

 

[mudbug]

Oh, Kathie, how thoughtful to provide shelter for them. Let's also give them some Ken dolls.

 

[Buck]

Watch it, muddie. Between the Ken dolls and the fiddling with karma you're treading on thin ice. You don't want to know why they call me "Tidal Wave" do you?
Buck

 

[mudbug]

Bring it on, baby. I've got my floaties on.

 

[Buck]

Okay, but I'm bringing my friend, Sue Nommy. (shhhh - Katie doesn't know about her yet).
Buck

 

[Katie H]

Hi, mudbug. Thought I'd come back. I could use some warm water. Looks like Anne had to leave. Boy, the place looks a lot better.

Tidal Wave, huh? I don't think Buck is going to be a bother any time soon. Look at those guys. They're really struggling to put that Barbie tent up. I think they're all going to be busy for quite a while. Geez guys. Read the directions. Why is it guys never ask directions?

Ah, this water really feels good. What has the chef prepared for us tonight? Has Andre prepared our drinks yet? I'm a little thirsty. I think I'd like a Galliano stinger.

Your floaties are darling!!!

 

[mudbug]

Buck, darlin' - you are mistaken. I am positive that Ms. Katie knows every little thing. It's only cuz you guys are so sweet in so many other ways that we tolerate your cute little attempts at distraction.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Guys; I know we wanted to mess with the girls, but we shouldn't have left the place a mess. I was always taught to leave a place in better condition than how I found it. Wadaya say we treat them to some good cookin'? I know we all have skills, let's make 'em sonething special. I'll ask my wife what she thinks we could do to make up for that mess, within reason of course. Did you see that tent they sent over? Gotta hand it to them. They do get creative sometimes. And RonJon, your little skit about having problems puting it up was priceless. You could have fooled me with that one.

They never even saw the cabin. Great camoflage work guys. Good job.

Now for the food planning; I'm thinking shrimp concktail for starters, followed by chicken fajitas with sliced avacado wedges. Help me figure else what we should bring to the party.

Who's gonna tackle desert?

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Katie H]

They never even saw the cabin. Great camoflage work guys. Good job.

Now for the food planning; I'm thinking shrimp concktail for starters, followed by chicken fajitas with sliced avacado wedges. Help me figure else what we should bring to the party.

Who's gonna tackle desert?

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

And, ya, like we never saw the cabin. Sorry buttercup. One of my sons was a marine and he taught me well. Nice try.

Shrimp cocktail, CHICKEN anything? Oh, please. In the words of Clara Peller, where's the beef?! You're going to have to do better than that. Seafood, yes. But not something so mundane as shrimp. Start talking lobster and we might have a discussion.

Adequate first effort. You guys can do better. Hmmmm!

 

[Alix]

Hey ladies. *dragging herself up to the hottub* I tell you I ache in places I never knew I had. Who knew coughing could be so painful? *hack hack!*

You know mudbug, I like the looks of this place, new security (very nice indeed!!), new chef, new servers. Looks good around here. That chef looks rather familiar though. I wonder if he makes a nice cheesecake????

Did I tell you what I did to the boys as payback for the mess here? I licked all their utensils. Did I mention how sick I've been? I also licked every bottle, can and opener I could find. I saw someone over there prepping dinner a while ago so I know SOMEONE is going to have some germs. THAT will teach them to trash our place.

Oh Mr Chef? Could I have some raspberry topping for my cheesecake please? *Goodweed, that a fake mustache you're wearing?*