Neighbor issues - help!

[jkath]

Thanks, GB -
I was actually considering that, but even though our wall borders us, to actually walk to her house is 1/2 mile (!) I'm kind of in a cul de sac, and the entrance to her place is far away.
Perhaps I can put something on the wall as a truce offering.

 

[Barbara L]

They say (or maybe Abraham Lincoln said it) that the best way to get rid of your enemies is to make them your friends.

Have her over for tea and win her heart. And if that doesn't work...

Well, did you ever see the movie "Arsenic and Old Lace?" I'm sure you get the picture!

Oh my gosh, new people probably think I'm horrible! Only in my plotting. Not in real life!

Barbara

 

[Wino]

I favor the mediation approach that someone suggested, although for it to work, both parties must be rational, and it sounds like your neighbor may not be in that category.

Someone once said that good fences make good neighbors, so perhaps you should consider a better fence. Could you add to the existing fence, or replace it, making it high enough that the top is beyond your neighbor's reach?

 

[kitchenelf]

Could you add to the existing fence, or replace it, making it high enough that the top is beyond your neighbor's reach?

I like the higher fence idea!! jkath - do you own the fence?

 

[Barbara L]

OR...

You lower the wall a little every day and the lady thinks she is growing and moves to a retirement home because of the stress of it all.

Barbara

 

[kitchenelf]

Barbara - you are soooooooooooo bad!

 

[Barbara L]

Barbara - you are soooooooooooo bad!

LOL It is just a little twist on what I have been doing to an elf up in Hickory. (Haven't you noticed you are getting a lot taller lately?).

Barbara

 

[jessicacarr]

I like Amber and Andy's ideas.
Also, I don't know how you worded your previous 3 notes to her, but maybe a card worded a little something like the following left on her porch attached to the bird house could make a positive difference...

Dear Ms. ___
You certainly have a precious and kind heart in feeding our birds. I want to communicate to you that I respect you for this. In effort to live amicably as neighbors and as a contribution to feeding the birds, I am offering you this birds house along with some feed. Please accept this token of friendship.
Your neighbor,
sign

You may have worded your notes thoughtfully with noting an understanding of her perspective, but that is the best I can come up with. I hope it works out peacably.
-JC

 

[Anne]

I agree with GB. Show her you mean business, then invite her over for tea. It might mean the world to her. For someone who is old and alone, life can get boring, and being cranky goes along with it. She may be lonely, and the birds are her "friends." I actually had a situation like that with a neighbor many years ago. The entire neighborhood thought they were terrible. It turned out that they were childless and getting old, and they turned out to be absolutely lovely. I'd have missed something if I hadn't befriended them. When we moved away, they were the saddest to see us go.

 

[Barbara L]

I agree with GB. Show her you mean business, then invite her over for tea. It might mean the world to her. For someone who is old and alone, life can get boring, and being cranky goes along with it. She may be lonely, and the birds are her "friends." I actually had a situation like that with a neighbor many years ago. The entire neighborhood thought they were terrible. It turned out that they were childless and getting old, and they turned out to be absolutely lovely. I'd have missed something if I hadn't befriended them. When we moved away, they were the saddest to see us go.

I love happy ending stories.

Barbara

 

[college_cook]

Call up city hall and find out if it is your wall. If it is, then I'd file a complaint about her littering on your property. Its a pretty harmless thing, and you could probably have the police talk to her about. Once the law gets involved folks usually tend to back off without any more hassle.

Or another option would be to get a few sprinkles and set them in your lawn, pointing them just so the streams hit the top of the wall and knock off the crumbs... or the lady gets wet wehnever she tries to feed the critters.

I think its great that she feeds the birds, btw, but there IS a right way and a wrong way to do it.

 

[SpiritWolf]

Why not try kids rubber snakes, you know the ones kids get in sample bags or in toy stores, We tried that where we live, even though I didnt agree with it as it was to get rid of our lorrikeets from our city mall, and I love any kind of bird or animal, but it is a solution, as it doesn't harm or kill the birds, just frightens them away, and it also solves the problem, most of the time, but dont put them fully on the brick wall, or your neighbour friend may see them and know what you are doing, then she would just simply remove them, put them in a non-conspicuios place outa site of her, but not to the birds. Half and Half I think, you just have to work out where the best place is for all concerned. It does work, but will it work 4 you, all you can do is try, and let us know.
Thanks see ya from spiritwolf in Aussie land.

 

[marmalady]

Simple - tell her you'd love to share your recipe for fried squirrel; squirrel stew; squirrel pot roast.................

 

[jkath]

You guys are all the best!
GB's words kept coming back to me, so I went outside, picked a couple of asian pears, some apples and some strawberry guavas from my yard. I put them in a big ziploc with a long handwritten note, asking for her forgiveness, explaining that my stern manner was not appropriate. I gushed, basically.
After a half hour, there were no breadcrumbs, and the bag was gone. There are no breadcrumbs this morning. I hope this works.

Thanks to all of you.

 

[Dina]

I'd say work it out tactfully. The ideas of getting her a birdfeeder and talking it over tea is something I would do to keep the peace.

 

[Michelemarie]

So far so good jkath - I hope it stays that way! You are a good neighbor!

 

[kitchenelf]

awwwww - good jkath. She might like a bird feeder more than ever now up closer to her house!!! Maybe you could help her place it near a window or patio or in a tree where she can enjoy it.

 

[TexanFrench]

Hmmm... We have a lovely, friendly cat who loves ear-scratches and loves hunting, and cleans out all the undesirable "critters" from our backyard, and we did have (she has now passed away) a neighbor who fed the birds--attracting great numbers of pesky, poopy pigeons and grackles, I might add. Some days we wouldn't have to feed the cat at all!

 

[GB]

I hope her new found respect lasts jkath!

 

[Anne]

Now, that was really thoughtful, JKath! A little bit of caring goes a long way. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.