"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > General Cooking Information > Menu Planning > Today's Menu
View Poll Results: How do you determine what each diner pays when you go out to eat as part of a group?
Each diner/couple pays an equal share 9 22.50%
Each diner/couple pays for exactly what they ate or drank 12 30.00%
Each diner/couple pays for approximately what they ate or drank 11 27.50%
One person pays the whole tab. 2 5.00%
Other (please explain) 6 15.00%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 07-26-2006, 03:03 AM   #11
Chef Extraordinaire
 
buckytom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 18,762
ah, now you're asking about the intracacies of what it means to be a good dinner friend.

of course, you shouldn't order the most expensive stuff, or extra courses, or extra rounds of drinks if the bill is being split (but i have had people do that to me, knowing they couldn't pay). wait until the bill is paid, then order your own extra drinks or desserts seperately.

but so long as everyone has the sense to do the same, it appears a bit petty to calculate your dinner to within a few dollars of the actual amount being asked of you.

the problems begin when you go to dinner with andy, er, i mean people who are worried about spending an extra 5 bucks over what they think they actually should pay. like i said, drinks get expensive and vary greatly in price from a $6 pint to a $14 martini (the going rates in many places in nyc these days), so a seperate check for alcohol is only logical.

but if you're actually counting dollar by dollar who had what, then be bold enough to request a seperate check before the meal begins. it makes it easier to spot the skin flints that way (just kidding... )

you're there to enjoy the company of friends over good food; not live with the angst and fear of being ripped off by a few bucks by your friends.
__________________

__________________
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.


Meh nom eh noh...doot dooooo do do do.
buckytom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 03:13 AM   #12
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA,Florida
Posts: 3,834
I'm wondering why we are seeing this from opposite sides. If these people are my friends, don't they want to pay their share? If one person (or couple) pays an extra few bucks, haven't they subsidized another or others in the process? We usually do request separate checks and that resolves many problems. Do people actually go to dinner and order things they can't afford to pay for or not bring money to pay for? Unless someone has invited me and told me they are treating, I always expect to pay my tab and tip. But my friends feel the same way I do and we don't have a problem.
__________________

__________________
Be an organ donor; give your heart to Jesus.
Exercise daily; walk with the Lord.
licia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 03:23 AM   #13
Chef Extraordinaire
 
buckytom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 18,762
i think my point is lost in your explanation. 2 sides of the same coin, really.

yes, the fact that you're friends means who cares if you "subsidize" someone else's meal for a few bucks. the reason you overlook the few dollars here and there is because the main reason was to enjoy each other's company, not quibble over a few pesos. it is just more expedient to divide the check, within reason, equally. that way the meaning of the evening is not reduced in the least by matters of money.
besides, if you remain freinds, there'll always come a time where you had the slightly more expensive meal, and were subsidized.

man, that whole word, subsidize, kills the entire feeling of enjoying a dinner with friends. that's why you just divide the check blindly, and forget petty costs.
__________________
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.


Meh nom eh noh...doot dooooo do do do.
buckytom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 03:52 AM   #14
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Posts: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by buckytom
i think my point is lost in your explanation. 2 sides of the same coin, really.

yes, the fact that you're friends means who cares if you "subsidize" someone else's meal for a few bucks. the reason you overlook the few dollars here and there is because the main reason was to enjoy each other's company, not quibble over a few pesos. it is just more expedient to divide the check, within reason, equally. that way the meaning of the evening is not reduced in the least by matters of money.
besides, if you remain freinds, there'll always come a time where you had the slightly more expensive meal, and were subsidized.

man, that whole word, subsidize, kills the entire feeling of enjoying a dinner with friends. that's why you just divide the check blindly, and forget petty costs.
I disagree with you on this one. I went out with several friends who had appetizers, main and dessert along with several glasses of wine. Because of my size and appetite, I had just 2 appies and 2 glasses of wine, but was expected to pay a full share of the bill. Really ticked me off.
__________________
DaCook is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 04:21 AM   #15
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,977
I'm with Kyles, it's more normal in the UK for the bills to be shared equally. BUT, of course, this usually means that one would not choose all the most expensive items for each course, drink copious amounts of the shared drink etc....! In fact, act in a fairly civilised manner and make sure that all bills are approximately evenly shared!

Mind you, I HAVE been to meals with some groups where one person/one couple break ALL the rules, eat drink etc - leave early, tossing their 'approximation' of their share onto the table .... Funny, it is NEVER enough to cover what they ate! Still, we can then all talk about them when they've gone, so they provide the after-dinner entertainment
__________________
Ishbel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 05:47 AM   #16
Executive Chef
 
ironchef's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The SPAM eating capital of the world.
Posts: 3,558
I voted number 3 because that's how we usually do it but sometimes there will be someone who didn't bring cash. On those occasions, they've picked up the tab and everyone else just gave him or her the cash for their food and drinks. Also, the term approximately in relation to most of my friends that I dine out with refers to the fact that most of us usually over estimate what we each spent and we usually end up throwing more into the pot than necessary.

I wouldn't ask or even think to split the dinner tab evenly amongst the number of diners, mainly because I'm one of the ones who is ordering the Foies Gras appetizer, Lobster Carpaccio, Kobe Beef Filet, Silver Oak Cab, and glass of Remy XO. I'm not going to limit myself to spend say, an average of $40 just because I don't want the others to have pay more on the final bill. If the other people though are insistent or agree on splitting up the check evenly, I'll ask the waithelp for a seperate check because I know I'm going to be ordering much more. For the friends that know me, it's pretty much expected. Sometimes there will be people that haven't eaten with me or with some of my friends that like to eat/drink like me, and whenever we ask for seperate checks, they're like "Oh don't worry about it, we'll just split it up." The people that know us are like ,"Trust them, you don't want to be paying $150 when you ordered only $60 worth of food/drinks."

I think a lot of it also depends on the friends that you're dining with (age, demographics, etc. etc.) and this leads to the differences in philosophies. Like I said, from my experiences, most of the time everyone will end up putting what could be construed as too much money into the pot, which usually ends up with the waithelp getting a 25% or more tip. But then if the service was good we could care less. It's more about the experience that it is about the money. Once in awhile we'll have a friend that tries to chince out but some of us are a pretty vocal bunch (especially after cocktails and a few bottles of wine) and pretty soon they learn to put enough dough into the pot.

Just a helpful hint: if you elect for seperate checks, please request for it BEFORE you order and not after. Makes it easier for the waithelp to enter in the items to be ordered into the computers and not have to manually seperate everything afterwards.
__________________
"Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
ironchef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 07:53 AM   #17
Chef Extraordinaire
 
buckytom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My mountain
Posts: 18,762
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaCook
I disagree with you on this one. I went out with several friends who had appetizers, main and dessert along with several glasses of wine. Because of my size and appetite, I had just 2 appies and 2 glasses of wine, but was expected to pay a full share of the bill. Really ticked me off.
since you are a resasonable person who knows that you're going to eat less, but still want to dine with friends, just politely request that you have a seperate check before the meal starts. like i said, a bit awkward, but if you feel the money overpaid by you is important or the amount disparate enough , then that's the way to go.
__________________
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.


Meh nom eh noh...doot dooooo do do do.
buckytom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 08:12 AM   #18
Assistant Cook
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,694
Everyone throws in a credit card ideally and splits the tip. Barring that, you pay and everyone is "honor bound" to pay for what their was plus a bit, and you hope you don't get stiffed.
__________________
Gretchen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 08:30 AM   #19
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
I picked other because each situation is different. Most of the time though we end up splitting the check evenly. When we go out with friends we all generally order around the same $ amount in food and drink. And if we don't then it is no big deal because we know that it will all come around in the end. What I mean by that is we may pay a few extra bucks one night because my wife did not have any drinks at the restaurant, but then those same friends might invite us over to their house for a meal or something.

If we were out to dinner though and everyone was just getting something small and I saw something on the menu that was quite a lot more expensive, but just had to have it then we will either pay more at the end of the night or insist on paying the tip or some other way to make sure our friends do not get stuck paying more than they should.

If we are out with people who may not be good friends, but maybe people we as just getting to know or maybe people at work who we are not friends with outside of the office or something then we will take cues from them at the end of the meal. Sometimes we each pay our own and sometimes it is split. We have no problem doing either of these.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-26-2006, 09:17 AM   #20
Senior Cook
 
VegasDramaQueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaCook
I disagree with you on this one. I went out with several friends who had appetizers, main and dessert along with several glasses of wine. Because of my size and appetite, I had just 2 appies and 2 glasses of wine, but was expected to pay a full share of the bill. Really ticked me off.
If you chose to eat only 2 appies and a couple of glasses of wine, your tab could have equaled the same as everyone else's. I went to lunch yesterday with 5 other women. I had two appetizers and a Bloody Mary. Apps = 16.00. Bloody Mary = 4.75. My bill was a dollar more than the average at the table. In Michigan when we dine with our friends we split the check equally among the number of diners. In the West Coast we ask for separate checks. If you split the bill what can it cost you extra? So you pay a buck or two more for your dinner. The worst thing in the world to me is to have someone sitting at the table with a freakin' calculator figuring each diner's portion to the penny. That' so tacky. If you rally feel strongly about this and you know that you will eat far less than the rest of the group, ask for a separate check. Enjoy your friends and your lunch/dinner and don't sweat the extra couple of bucks. You can get them next time.
__________________

__________________
VegasDramaQueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:24 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.