These are nearly suicidal, but God did let a few of us live, to serve as bad examples, or warnings to the rest of you...(don't try if you are older than, say, 25, and/or are not in the semi-pro athlete shape that the military gets you into)
A 40 ounce bottle of vodka...
Add a 48 ounce recipe package of Tang juice crystals...
Mix very well and chill very hard...
Serve like that, WITHOUT ADDING ICE...you'll swear its just "Tang" until your skull hits the floor or furniture...
Note that if you add any water or ice, all of a sudden, your taste buds have a comparator, and you can't drink it...
_____________________________________________________________
The Canadian "Sneaky Pete"
Try this when Ice Fishing...
A good, cold Canadian beer such as "Blue", or "Canadian" in one gloved or mittened hand, and a bottle of "Triple X" Port wine in the other, taking alternate sips...
Warning: Stay away from the raging campfire on the ice, as one guy (no, damnit! Not me!) drifted off to a gentle sleep in his brand new nylon Skidoo suit while doing this "research" and woke to find the clothing had melted from the proximity of the flames...the co-"researchers" being likewise incapable of either "saving him" or observing his unspoken distress...
_____________________________________________________________
The "Infantryman"
Take your standard bar rack of so many years ago, with the inverted bottles standing over the dispensors...usually two bottles of Cdn Rye Whisky, Scotch, Vodka, Gin, Dark Rum, White Rum and, periodically, Amber Rum...in a 12 oz mug, pump one shot from each bottle of the liquors that are not clear (ie vodka gin and white rum) into the mug...add a shot of creme de menthe...fill with a modest amount of your choice of "mix", and "serve"...we used to do this to guys on their "Stag Night"...it was wise to have both a waste basket handy, and a clear path to the washrooms...I can vaguely recall it being done to me...waking up in a toilet cubicle, "torture testing" my Timex in the toilet bowl, with an airborne type climbing over the wall to release the door lock...
____________________________________________________________
The "Drop Short" (a tribute to the Artillery, Queen of Battle...)
A large mug of very cold bottled beer...
Drop a jigger of Scotch into it, and be caused to pitch it back and drink it straight down...(beer, beer, beer, Scotch...)
____________________________________________________________
Air Force Punch is recorded elsewhere in this section, served at numerous Mess Dinners and Dining In Nights to repetitive and predictable results...
Whereas I relate it being served at our reception, regrettably, the second batch of mix was not added to it at the time my new wife expressed that she eas "very thirsty"...my trusted "Best Man" made off to get her a glass of punch, and gave her 8 oz of the "undiluted"...needless to say, it was probably the only dance we have ever been at where we waltzed, and she permitted me to "lead"....
____________________________________________________________
From the observation of Permanent Force Type's research, it has been determined that if it is -50 degrees outside ambient temperature, and you bury a bottle of "fine" vodka in the snowbank...it will not, in fact, freeze and break the glass...it does get somewhat jelled, and slow moving...
Drinking it "straight" (like who's going to add an icecube?) will assure you of frostbite like damage to your mouth, teeth, tongue, esophagus and stomach...
If you should be living in said environment, in, say a 5 or 10 man Arctic Tent, no doubt you have the Coleman stove going full blast as well as the Coleman Lantern (which throws most of the heat!) and have a pot of water on both stove burners, one for coffee for the firewatch guy and the other tends to get the fruit drink crystals dissolved to it from the ration packs...
If you fill your canteen cup with the fruit drink crystal mix, and carelessly add a couple or three ounces of the "jelled vodka", you will reduce the temp of the very hot fruit drink mix to a point where it will cost your body calories to digest these many calories you are ingesting, which will make you both sick and cold...
____________________________________________________________
I will repeat my coment that God allowed a few of us to survive if only to be "bad examples" or "warnings" to the rest of you...on the other hand, where two or more of us "survivours" are gathered in one place, the reunions are remarkable! Everybody KNOWS who it was, at a "housewarming" party for a new bride, wed to the military guy in January, went staggering off into the Stygian darkness of the backyard (there was only one toilet) and rolled in a few moments later with the somewhat drunken advice "Don't eat any yellow snow!" before passing out (And no, damnit, it wasn't me!)
A 40 ounce bottle of vodka...
Add a 48 ounce recipe package of Tang juice crystals...
Mix very well and chill very hard...
Serve like that, WITHOUT ADDING ICE...you'll swear its just "Tang" until your skull hits the floor or furniture...
Note that if you add any water or ice, all of a sudden, your taste buds have a comparator, and you can't drink it...
_____________________________________________________________
The Canadian "Sneaky Pete"
Try this when Ice Fishing...
A good, cold Canadian beer such as "Blue", or "Canadian" in one gloved or mittened hand, and a bottle of "Triple X" Port wine in the other, taking alternate sips...
Warning: Stay away from the raging campfire on the ice, as one guy (no, damnit! Not me!) drifted off to a gentle sleep in his brand new nylon Skidoo suit while doing this "research" and woke to find the clothing had melted from the proximity of the flames...the co-"researchers" being likewise incapable of either "saving him" or observing his unspoken distress...
_____________________________________________________________
The "Infantryman"
Take your standard bar rack of so many years ago, with the inverted bottles standing over the dispensors...usually two bottles of Cdn Rye Whisky, Scotch, Vodka, Gin, Dark Rum, White Rum and, periodically, Amber Rum...in a 12 oz mug, pump one shot from each bottle of the liquors that are not clear (ie vodka gin and white rum) into the mug...add a shot of creme de menthe...fill with a modest amount of your choice of "mix", and "serve"...we used to do this to guys on their "Stag Night"...it was wise to have both a waste basket handy, and a clear path to the washrooms...I can vaguely recall it being done to me...waking up in a toilet cubicle, "torture testing" my Timex in the toilet bowl, with an airborne type climbing over the wall to release the door lock...
____________________________________________________________
The "Drop Short" (a tribute to the Artillery, Queen of Battle...)
A large mug of very cold bottled beer...
Drop a jigger of Scotch into it, and be caused to pitch it back and drink it straight down...(beer, beer, beer, Scotch...)
____________________________________________________________
Air Force Punch is recorded elsewhere in this section, served at numerous Mess Dinners and Dining In Nights to repetitive and predictable results...
Whereas I relate it being served at our reception, regrettably, the second batch of mix was not added to it at the time my new wife expressed that she eas "very thirsty"...my trusted "Best Man" made off to get her a glass of punch, and gave her 8 oz of the "undiluted"...needless to say, it was probably the only dance we have ever been at where we waltzed, and she permitted me to "lead"....
____________________________________________________________
From the observation of Permanent Force Type's research, it has been determined that if it is -50 degrees outside ambient temperature, and you bury a bottle of "fine" vodka in the snowbank...it will not, in fact, freeze and break the glass...it does get somewhat jelled, and slow moving...
Drinking it "straight" (like who's going to add an icecube?) will assure you of frostbite like damage to your mouth, teeth, tongue, esophagus and stomach...
If you should be living in said environment, in, say a 5 or 10 man Arctic Tent, no doubt you have the Coleman stove going full blast as well as the Coleman Lantern (which throws most of the heat!) and have a pot of water on both stove burners, one for coffee for the firewatch guy and the other tends to get the fruit drink crystals dissolved to it from the ration packs...
If you fill your canteen cup with the fruit drink crystal mix, and carelessly add a couple or three ounces of the "jelled vodka", you will reduce the temp of the very hot fruit drink mix to a point where it will cost your body calories to digest these many calories you are ingesting, which will make you both sick and cold...
____________________________________________________________
I will repeat my coment that God allowed a few of us to survive if only to be "bad examples" or "warnings" to the rest of you...on the other hand, where two or more of us "survivours" are gathered in one place, the reunions are remarkable! Everybody KNOWS who it was, at a "housewarming" party for a new bride, wed to the military guy in January, went staggering off into the Stygian darkness of the backyard (there was only one toilet) and rolled in a few moments later with the somewhat drunken advice "Don't eat any yellow snow!" before passing out (And no, damnit, it wasn't me!)
