Thanks licia, I appreciate that.
MarionW said:Didn't start highschool till the '90's? You aren't old enough to cook! Does your mommie know you have the oven on?
That is fine, but what about bringing flowers or non food items? I am just curious how you feel about guests bringing you something like that or what you do when you go to someones house.Swann said:In the paper this AM Miss Manners column she says....NO you do not take food, drink, or gift to a dinner party. Very poor manners. My husband says that taking food makes the hostess feel that the food she may serve is not good enough or they probably would not like what is served. I consider it an insult to bring food to my house unless it is a potluck. I said it all in another post so I will not repeat. I do not kow where the idea orignated that one takes a gift to a party. Cultural? Perhaps.
buckytom said:dad is first gen irish american, mom is second - norwegian american.
we were taught 2 basic rules.
1. never show up empty handed, anywhere, no matter what.
we normally bring wine AND italian or polish baked goods (since there's so many good bakeries of each around me), AND/or flowers.
every time i go to my parents, we bring veggies and herbs from the garden, as well as a few frozen meals i've prepared, so my mom can get a break from dinner for a coupla nights. same goes when we visit my siblings. it may seem weird, but they love my cooking. or so they say...lol?
even when i go to my buddy's house for monday night football, i bring a 12 pack and a pizza or two. neither goes to waste with my friends, and is always appreciated.
i remember we were having our monday night get together at one of the guys' house, who's wife was a bit iffy about what we might do to her place since she didn't know everyone. some of the guys are very large, very scary looking people.
i showed up early, with flowers and wine for her (i left the beer and pizza in the truck), and she seemed to relax a bit. especially after a glass or two of the wine. not to mention how she kept trying to set me up with all of her friends. i was semi-single at the time.
anyway, it was a case that proved the theory. never show up empty handed.
2. everyone is always invited. period. all get togethers, from the biggest party to the simplest meal, no one is ever excluded. even strangers.
if it should so happen that you think you don't like someone, you'll be surprised at the friends you make, rather than the enemies you'll make by not including them. a little friendship and hospitality goes a long way.
my mom says that this is a norwegian practice from years ago. if you were having a get together, you'd place a lit candle or pot of oil in the front of the house as sort of an "open house" sign. anyone who passes by is invited in to the party, and to eat.
licia said:I suppose it depends on how well you know your hosts. I always take something, not food if I'm invited to dinner. Sometimes chocolates, or a nice candle, or if I know what they collect, perhaps something to go with that. I have a friend who brings current magazines that she knows I like, but to which I don't subscribe. I think it is just a nice thing to do for someone who probably went to quite a bit of work to entertain you. Perhaps a cd of their favorite group, a picture frame, or even in some cases, I've taken a picture that I had taken of us together, etc. Lots of things other than food and wine. Flowers are always nice. Alix, I think the friend should have been told first off if the flowers were for another person at the party, but even better why bring flowers for one person to another person's party. That seems a bit unthoughtful to me. But it seems everyone lives by different rules these days, or perhaps the lack of them!
lulu said:I should get you talking to my friend who I shall call "Adam" Bucky. I love him dearly, but have had to stop inviting him because he comes (occasionally bringing with him a bottle of wine from the off licence in my road) for dinner on a friday, and after all the other guests have gone and I have to tell him bluntly I am tired he just looks blank and says, oh right, yes, well, I'll saty the night and we can keep talking in the morning!!!
Once he stayed 10 days!!! Husband and I went to work every morning, he slept and watched tv! He is an actor, and during this time he even went to auditions THEN RETURNED TO OUR PLACE! I can't for the life of me get it, he has his own flat - much nicer than ours! So, now we only try to only go to restaurants nearer his place than ours, lol.