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Old 10-26-2013, 08:46 PM   #641
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We keep telling her we would buy it. My favorite visual is the hens on the tractor and canoe.
PF--You'd really like to see them "scrammin" the patio door--there were 12 of them out there yesterday--Myrtle in the lead--pecking at the door--DEMANDING more homestyle biscuits. The problem is that as fun as it is to watch them attack the biscuits, some of them are getting a wee bit plump so I've had to cut them back...Myrtle is organizing a union...I know she is--if I won't "pay" them with more biscuits, she's threatening that the egg production crew will go on strike........and, Harriet and Myrtle are refusing to wear their winter jackets...oh, what is a chicken keeper to do when the hens go on strike....pace, pace, pace, pace, pace...run in circles, scream and shout...can I afford to pay them with more biscuits? Will they survive the winter without their coats? Run in circles, scream and shout....
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Old 10-26-2013, 08:49 PM   #642
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I've read this thread completely twice now. Mrs D thinks I have lost it. (I,m almost peeing my pants laughing so much) If this was in book form I would buy it. You certainly have the gift of turning every day situations into a comical and entertaining venue for us all to share.
Who knew having chickens was so much fun....
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Old 10-26-2013, 10:00 PM   #643
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Create a biscuit dispenser, of course you would have to keep it topped up...

Not cold enough for coats, yet...
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Old 10-27-2013, 04:07 PM   #644
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Scenario: All the ladies in a circle in and around their sand box (one of the renovations in the coop the Big Chicken had to "spring" for the ladies comfort this winter).

Myrtle: Listen up, ladies, we've been good egg producers, and it is about time the Big Chicken recognizes our value and pays us for what we're worth. I say we stop laying unless she provides at least 1/2 biscuit to each of us each morning.

Hear hear! (cluck-cluck-cluck!!!)

From the crowd: What about the little ladies? They're not laying yet, why should they get biscuits?

A voice from the crowd: Until they produce an egg a day, they should be on probation, 1/8 biscuit for each egg laid for the first three months.

Cluck-cluck-cluck.

Myrtle: Okay, ladies, let's go tell the Big Chicken we won't lay any more eggs unless we're paid a fair wage.

Eggna: AWK!! AWK!!! Oops, I couldn't help it.

Daylight fades to night...
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Old 10-27-2013, 04:34 PM   #645
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You should tell them the story of what happens to lobsters. And that if you weren't working, you would come for a visit and bring some of them with you. Let them think you are going to try and work it into your schedule. After all I would love to meet them. That should stop all that nonsense of stopping laying eggs.
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:17 PM   #646
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ROFL!!!
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:43 PM   #647
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Scenario: All the ladies in a circle in and around their sand box (one of the renovations in the coop the Big Chicken had to "spring" for the ladies comfort this winter).

Myrtle: Listen up, ladies, we've been good egg producers, and it is about time the Big Chicken recognizes our value and pays us for what we're worth. I say we stop laying unless she provides at least 1/2 biscuit to each of us each morning.

Hear hear! (cluck-cluck-cluck!!!)

From the crowd: What about the little ladies? They're not laying yet, why should they get biscuits?

A voice from the crowd: Until they produce an egg a day, they should be on probation, 1/8 biscuit for each egg laid for the first three months.

Cluck-cluck-cluck.

Myrtle: Okay, ladies, let's go tell the Big Chicken we won't lay any more eggs unless we're paid a fair wage.

Eggna: AWK!! AWK!!! Oops, I couldn't help it.

Daylight fades to night...
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Old 10-28-2013, 11:22 PM   #648
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Long time reader, just too shy to jump in I suppose. I adore this thread and hearing all about your girls :)
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:54 AM   #649
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Eggna: "Myrtle, why is the Big Chicken washing the crate? Are we going on a road trip? I love to ride in the car!"

Myrtle: "I heard her tell the other Big Chicken that there were some youngin's that needed a home."

Ethel: "What?!! More chicks? The little ladies still aren't laying despite our coaching. What is the Big Chicken thinking? There won't be enough biscuits to put more chicks on probation."

Harriet: "What? Big Chickens have the capacity to think?"

Prudence: "No, they don't--wait a sec while Chikipedia loads...darn, the link is down. But I know I read it on Chikipedia that Big Chickens can't think..."

Eggatha: "Prudence, you spend way too much time on the Internet...that's probably why you don't have a toenail on that one foot..."

Prudence: "That's from trying to scratch feed out of the snow. Why do we live where there is winter?"

Eggatha: "Chikipedia claims we are winter hardy...Bullchicken! I want to live in Florida!"

Eggna: "Where's Florida?"

Myrtle: "Maybe that's why she's washing the crate--she's taking us south for the winter."

Cluck-cluck-hooray!!!!! No snow!!!!
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Old 11-01-2013, 10:34 AM   #650
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I can't wait to see to hear of their reaction when that first snow comes and they are still right there. And now the clocks are going back, so there will be less eggs. They will think it is because it is their way of punishing you for not taking them to Florida. I can just hear Myrtle.

"Okay girls, less eggs for the two Big Chickens. They will be sorry they are making us stay here in the cold. Less eggs until the warm weather comes. That will show the Big Chicken!"
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