We are as metal, forged in the fire of adversity. As we go through life, we learn to solve problems, to experience all emotions, to feel pain, and to feel joy. We love our family members, and experience the grief felt when one is lost to us. And after all is said and done, we are tempered by the adveristies of life into a something far stronger than the strongest steel. We come to understand that we are not the center of the universe, but that we are the children of our creator, and that life in mortality is just a small part of life. We beging to understand the power of faith, and hope, and of perservering when you just don't want to get out of bed. We become truely, our Father's Children.
Sandie's life is now more difficult, as she has to rely more on her own talents to raise her children. There may be another man who can fill the role of father and husband in her life, and in her children's lives. It may be that you become a more important part of rearing your grandchildren. I don't know the answers. But I do know that you and Sandie are not abandoned, but that Haevenly Father is helping you even as I write this post.
Like you, I hope that your DIL will come to understand these things. And I pray for the best for you and your family.
Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
Its too difficult to express this over a forum. Typed words do not equal a hug. But if they could I would be giving you one right now. Your heart is a kind and tender one. 
