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Old 03-05-2011, 11:24 AM   #1
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Just need someone to talk to...

This has nothing to do with cooking, but I can't go on Facebook, because my boyfriend, who I want to talk about, would see it. So I like to drink, and my boyfriend doesn't. He refuses to go out with me, so every month or so I go out without him, and since I'm by myself, I'm left to fend for myself for rides or whatever. Several months ago I wasn't ok to drive and I couldn't find a ride so I stayed on a (male) friend's couch. My boyfriend got very angry, but supposedly forgave me. He has brought it up randomly about once a month since then, so he obviously doesn't want to let me forget about it. For the first time in a year, it's made me wonder if maybe I would be better off single. Forgiveness is really important to me. I wonder how he would react if I brought up something dumb he did a long time ago every month or so. I just need to talk to someone about it. Little help?

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Old 03-05-2011, 11:33 AM   #2
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It may be something dumb to you but it may be a big trust issue for him. Why didn't you call your bf to pick you up that night?

The best thing to do is sit down and talk about it, lay all issues out on the table and work them out.
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:34 AM   #3
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Skittle if your boyfriend got drunk and stayed overnight in a girlfriends house how would you react.
Ps dont they have Taxi's where you live.
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:36 AM   #4
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You and boyfriend need to sit down and talk things out. Your differences and how to handle them going forward, your past acts, everything. Then you both need to assess whether or not you can live with the others habits.
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:41 AM   #5
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He doesn't have a phone. And yes there are taxis, but it would be about $20 to get to where we live. We have talked about it. He has brought up the same thing. I wouldn't like it if he stayed on some girls couch. He's brought that up too, but I would forgive him and not throw it in his face all the time...
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:51 AM   #6
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You never know what you would do until it happens to you. Again, you have to talk or it won't get better.


On a side note my ex. wife used to go out "dancing & drinking" a bit, I said it was ok as it was something she liked. A couple years later I found out she had been sleeping around with many people, which is why she is now my ex.

He obviously has some trust issues that was not made any better by what happened.
Just like Andy said "can you live with the others habits" Talk with him and let each other know what you expect.

Good luck!
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:21 PM   #7
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IMO, drinkers and non-drinkers don't make for lasting relationships.

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Old 03-05-2011, 12:29 PM   #8
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IMO, drinkers and non-drinkers don't make for lasting relationships.

Craig
+1
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:37 PM   #9
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Several months ago I wasn't ok to drive and I couldn't find a ride so I stayed on a (male) friend's couch.
That alone wound be a huge red flag for me.
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Old 03-05-2011, 12:40 PM   #10
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IMO, drinkers and non-drinkers don't make for lasting relationships.

Craig
-1. My husband is a strict NON drinker and I drink when I wish to do so. Been together for almost 20 years now and going strong.

This is not about drinking or not drinking though. It is, as folks have already suggested, about trust and about making concessions to one another in your relationship. He wouldn't keep bringing it up if it didn't bother him. You clearly hurt him and there is some trust that needs rebuilding. Whether you did anything wrong or not is immaterial. He is feeling hurt by your actions. He's bringing it up because he is afraid you are going to hurt him again. It appears the ball is in your court, you are going to have to show him he can trust you. Have that conversation everyone is encouraging you to have and really listen to what he tells you.

I would also suggest you chat with a close girlfriend as sometimes things are lost in text. Good luck and I wish you well.
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