Old Venting Thread
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Texas,
I feel just as you do. There is no place in my life for this foolishness. The guy is an A#1 jerk..He is a star trouble maker..My dad had a name for guys like him, but I can't say it here
As much as I love sports, this I can do without.
kadesma
I feel just as you do. There is no place in my life for this foolishness. The guy is an A#1 jerk..He is a star trouble maker..My dad had a name for guys like him, but I can't say it here
As much as I love sports, this I can do without.kadesma
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
Is it because they are teenagers?
My kid has gone brain dead. She just got her interim report card, and is getting Ds and Fs - primarily because she has not turned in her homework. Yeah, that simple task seems to be beyond her ability.
We had a nice screaming-at-her session Friday, with the usual predictions of life behind the counter at McDonald's, being the only 8th grader with a driver's license, and a future with no money to have any fun in life, or even purchase basic necessities.
Nothing seems to penetrate her skull.
So what do we do, besides tying her to a chair every day when she gets home from school?
My kid has gone brain dead. She just got her interim report card, and is getting Ds and Fs - primarily because she has not turned in her homework. Yeah, that simple task seems to be beyond her ability.
We had a nice screaming-at-her session Friday, with the usual predictions of life behind the counter at McDonald's, being the only 8th grader with a driver's license, and a future with no money to have any fun in life, or even purchase basic necessities.
Nothing seems to penetrate her skull.
So what do we do, besides tying her to a chair every day when she gets home from school?
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
Mudbug, I wish I knew what to tell you. If you ever find out - please tell me. My daughter is in 7th grade - and is getting good grades - however, I feel it is because of US. Pushing her to do homework, etc. Why can't they just do it? I don't remember my folks sitting with me through homework - I came home, I did it - usually no questions asked, and got fine grades. I feel for you - it sounds like you are doing all the right things! Hang in there sweetie!
OP
OP
mudbug, what does she truly value extracurricular wise? I think that would be my next move. "Since you clearly can't prioritize for yourself, we are going to help you by removing you from (------) until your grades improve." I don't know if you want to tell her that is what she will lose first or just yank her.
Unfortunately, YOU are going to be punished just as much as she will when you have to stand over her to make sure her work is done.
I'm here if you want to gab. We're behind you mudbug, you will do the right thing no matter what you do. You're a good and caring mom. {{{{{{{{{{mudbug}}}}}}}}}
Unfortunately, YOU are going to be punished just as much as she will when you have to stand over her to make sure her work is done.
I'm here if you want to gab. We're behind you mudbug, you will do the right thing no matter what you do. You're a good and caring mom. {{{{{{{{{{mudbug}}}}}}}}}
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
thank you, Michelle Marie and Alix. It's especially difficult for me to figure out what to do because I was like MM - didn't have parents hovering over me about homework. I just did it.
We are taking away the cell phone, the Ipod, and private telephone conversations in general. All calls will be made/answered on the kitchen phone within earshot of good ole mom and dad.
All homework will now be done at the kitchen table (groan, Alix - I know you are right about the checking).
No more TV breaks between school and homework - it gets done right when she gets home.
I am undecided about ruling out TV altogether. If I shut it off permanently for an indefinite period, she will view reading books as a punishment instead of an enjoyable pastime. Can't imagine the guilt of rearing a kid to think of books as the devil incarnate. But I can't make her love reading either.
Arrrggghhhh...this is so hard.
We are taking away the cell phone, the Ipod, and private telephone conversations in general. All calls will be made/answered on the kitchen phone within earshot of good ole mom and dad.
All homework will now be done at the kitchen table (groan, Alix - I know you are right about the checking).
No more TV breaks between school and homework - it gets done right when she gets home.
I am undecided about ruling out TV altogether. If I shut it off permanently for an indefinite period, she will view reading books as a punishment instead of an enjoyable pastime. Can't imagine the guilt of rearing a kid to think of books as the devil incarnate. But I can't make her love reading either.
Arrrggghhhh...this is so hard.
GB
Chief Eating Officer
Mudbug if you ever feel like talking then I am here for you. I can talk to you from your daughters point of view as that was me as a kid.
On thing I do know, when I was forced to do homework at the kitchen table then it got done as long as I didn't lie and say I didn't have any homework.
Good luck Mud! I know what you are going through is not easy.
On thing I do know, when I was forced to do homework at the kitchen table then it got done as long as I didn't lie and say I didn't have any homework.
Good luck Mud! I know what you are going through is not easy.
Jenny
Senior Cook
Oh Mudbug, I feel like you are living my life...I have a seventh grader whose progress report revealed 4 failing grades and two passing ones. We just got end of quarter grades, she managed to bring all but one grade up to passing. I have requested a conference w/ all her teachers, me and Dave, and Sami. Her teachers said at progress report time that she was drawing in class, reading Anime books and basically not paying attention to them or turning in her work. As her discipline, we took away her computer, phone priviledges and extra curricular activities. The only thing she was allowed to do was read, church, and hang w/ dear old mum and dad! We were happy she ended up failing only one class.
The upsetting thing is that I know she is capable of doing so much better. She is incredibly gifted at drawing and designing, especially for a 12 year old-we keep telling her how bright her future will be.
I did feel a little encouraged by her SS teacher. He said that most often kids didn't start getting it until the 8th grade. He said something just clicks for them...so maybe hope is coming! Hang in there! and know you aren't going through this alone! I know it just has to get better!!!
The upsetting thing is that I know she is capable of doing so much better. She is incredibly gifted at drawing and designing, especially for a 12 year old-we keep telling her how bright her future will be.
I did feel a little encouraged by her SS teacher. He said that most often kids didn't start getting it until the 8th grade. He said something just clicks for them...so maybe hope is coming! Hang in there! and know you aren't going through this alone! I know it just has to get better!!!
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
Jenny and Mudbug - listening to you talk is like hearing my own voice in my head. My daughter is a bit "social" - she is the center of the 7th grade - and it drives me nuts (I hope my son grows up to be a nerd in middle school).
Last quarter her midterms showed acceptable grades IF I knew she was trying, but she wasn't and they were simply unacceptable. She wants to socialize more than anything.
What we did - during that time - was no computer during the week at all. No phone until all homework was done - and here is the catch - done to the highest of her ability - no slop! We curtailed social activities down too. We also said homework at the kitchen table only, too. We did see an improvement - her report card was very good. But why all the effort on our part?
We try to tell her she is a student first, then ms. social director. I keep telling her being a good parent is hard - being a lousy parent (and there are plenty out there) is easy. I cannot believe what some of these parents allow!
I don't know what you have been called, but I am the meanest mom on around - and am glad for it. Good luck to both of you - it sounds like you are great (mean) moms! Be proud of yourself!
Last quarter her midterms showed acceptable grades IF I knew she was trying, but she wasn't and they were simply unacceptable. She wants to socialize more than anything.
What we did - during that time - was no computer during the week at all. No phone until all homework was done - and here is the catch - done to the highest of her ability - no slop! We curtailed social activities down too. We also said homework at the kitchen table only, too. We did see an improvement - her report card was very good. But why all the effort on our part?
We try to tell her she is a student first, then ms. social director. I keep telling her being a good parent is hard - being a lousy parent (and there are plenty out there) is easy. I cannot believe what some of these parents allow!
I don't know what you have been called, but I am the meanest mom on around - and am glad for it. Good luck to both of you - it sounds like you are great (mean) moms! Be proud of yourself!
texasgirl
Master Chef
Boys are so much easier as far as discipline. Mine didn't care about school and it would have been easier to pull all their teeth than get them to do homework. They weren't like a girl throwing the tantrums, they just went to their rooms with the puppy dog faces. LOL
I'm like GB, I was the one that was failing all the time. I started out by skipping school and stopped doing homework. I failed 6th grade and had to go to summer school. It was a rebellion thing. Parent's divorcing, etc.
Well, in high school, mom decided that all the stuff she took away or grounded me, wasn't working, so, she went the other way. If I passed all my classes each 6 weeks, I got to pick a restaurant to go too for dinner that next weekend. Didn't matter how much or if she liked the food either. That, for some reason, did it for me. I wasn't a A or B student after 5 th grade, so, she just wanted me to pass with at least a 70. My grades did come up, I was making between 75 and 80's. It was more of a goal instead of worrying about punishment. Don't know that it would work with anyone else, but, it did for me and when we told the boys that they could get a new Playstation game when they passed, it worked for them too.
I'm like GB, I was the one that was failing all the time. I started out by skipping school and stopped doing homework. I failed 6th grade and had to go to summer school. It was a rebellion thing. Parent's divorcing, etc.
Well, in high school, mom decided that all the stuff she took away or grounded me, wasn't working, so, she went the other way. If I passed all my classes each 6 weeks, I got to pick a restaurant to go too for dinner that next weekend. Didn't matter how much or if she liked the food either. That, for some reason, did it for me. I wasn't a A or B student after 5 th grade, so, she just wanted me to pass with at least a 70. My grades did come up, I was making between 75 and 80's. It was more of a goal instead of worrying about punishment. Don't know that it would work with anyone else, but, it did for me and when we told the boys that they could get a new Playstation game when they passed, it worked for them too.
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mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
Michelle and Jenny - the most frustrating part is that this child of mine is not learning-disabled. On the state tests she routinely gets marks in the "advanced" category. So she can do the work - she just doesn't feel like it. (MM- she does have tons of friends too- who all tell her how cool she is)
MM- I have been called everything in the book (not easy to swallow when you've waited as long as I did to have a kid), but you are right, and I'm grittting my teeth to get thru this.
MM- I have been called everything in the book (not easy to swallow when you've waited as long as I did to have a kid), but you are right, and I'm grittting my teeth to get thru this.
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
I'm sorry Mudbug. Maybe we should cut their hair and blacken their teeth and make them wear ugly clothes. I know your frustration with knowing she can do it if she applied herself. Take it day by day, you are a good mom! The light at the end of the tunnel: One day she will thank you - can't say when "one day" is - but hopefully it will be sooner than later! Hugs to you my friend, and know that you are not alone.
corazon
Executive Chef
For me, in highschool, I didn't have a problem doing the homework. I just never went to class.
Our neighbor's son is having the same problem. She has him bring home weekly progress reports from his teachers every Friday. Maybe your daughter could do the same with the homework written out and the teacher could say what she did and didn't hand in for that week, as well as any big projects coming up. If anything, it will probably embarass her enough, she might actually keep doing her homework so that she doesn't have to bring home reports anymore.
Our neighbor's son is having the same problem. She has him bring home weekly progress reports from his teachers every Friday. Maybe your daughter could do the same with the homework written out and the teacher could say what she did and didn't hand in for that week, as well as any big projects coming up. If anything, it will probably embarass her enough, she might actually keep doing her homework so that she doesn't have to bring home reports anymore.
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
Thank you all, ladies (and geebs), for making this mom's burden a little easier today. I so truly appreciate it.
OP
OP
Thats what Moms do for each other. Heres to you Moms *holding wine glass aloft...CLINK*
mudbug
Chef Extraordinaire
Amen, Alix. Here's to all of us mean moms. We must not be an endangered species after all...............
Dina
Executive Chef
Mudbug,
You're not alone. My 11 year old son is so intelligent but just doesn't want to do the school work. His teachers see his potential and have told me this year after year but he just won't focus on the work and apply himself. I keep pushing him and know that I'm never going to let it slide. Even when he's in middle school and high school, he's going to see mom and dad making unexpected visits to school. I believe that if you keep on top of things, know what they're up to and never let your guard down on them, they will eventually snap out of whatever it is they're going through and succeed. Hang in there and have faith.
You're not alone. My 11 year old son is so intelligent but just doesn't want to do the school work. His teachers see his potential and have told me this year after year but he just won't focus on the work and apply himself. I keep pushing him and know that I'm never going to let it slide. Even when he's in middle school and high school, he's going to see mom and dad making unexpected visits to school. I believe that if you keep on top of things, know what they're up to and never let your guard down on them, they will eventually snap out of whatever it is they're going through and succeed. Hang in there and have faith.
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Constance
Master Chef
Alix said:OK, inspired by Brooksy's bad day yesterday I thought I would post this thread for folks to vent those petty things that make us nuts.
Mine is sewing related. My thread keeps breaking, my bobbin ran out and when I tried to refill it the stupid thing went flying somewhere across the room and the thread wound around the post instead. ARGH!So, I am here for a few minutes to regain my composure and stop swearing at the machine.
Oh, Alix...I am all to familiar with your dilemma. I have been a seamstress for all my life, until the last few years. When my babies were young, I took in sewing to add to our income. I had an excellent machine, but I used it so much, I had to oil and clean it once a week. My dad replaced 2 motors and 3 foot-pedals. It finally spit out the bits when the shaft bent.
I have a new machine now, but every time I get ready to use it, I have the same problems you do.
You are right to get away from it for a few minutes. When you feel ready to go back, things will fall together for you.
Mudbug, you're not alone,believe me. With my four it was like a merry go round. my baby a daughter, was stubborn, independent,loved to party but school, why bother??? If she could, it would be skip school go to mall..or a friends house and watch TV..So, I made it my business to be on her all the time..You've heard I had a little shadow who went in and out with me? Well my kid had two little shadows, hers and minemudbug said:
I joined the sports booster club, got to know the teachers and principle at the high school, and let me tell you I made sure to keep my ears open when a chat on the phone suddenly was whispered not normal talking tone. Every time she turned around she bumped her cute little nose into good ol mom..Sure I was mean, it wasn't my job to keep her from having fun, how come I didn't work like other moms, why didn't I get a hobby,buy a puppy,drop dead..Sure it hurt like the kickens..But, everytime she said that, I replied that I had my job, her, her sister, her 2 brothers and that was how it was gonna be. Like it or not that was it. I did this dance with here through high school and after one year of college, she was gonna live on her own..At least once a month she was moving out..After several months, surprise I told her go ahead, well then could I help? Could she borrow money, NOPE, get a job,if you intend to be on your own you do it by being responsible. She finally figured out that to do all these things, why she'd have to listen to good ol mom!!!! Now, my maker of white hair is a mother of Ethan and Olivia, teaches 1 grade, has her own home and guess what?? Gee, mom, I'm so glad you loved me enough to CARE...Now there isn't a time she leaves this house to go to her own home that her dad and I both get big hugs and warm kisses. And a thanks mom. Be that mean ol mom Mud, she will look up one day and see you with different eyes..I promise..hugs friend..I'm here is you need me.
kadesma
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