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Old 07-28-2008, 10:08 PM   #21
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Thanks Mama, I did search that site. Too bad I can't call them now.. I am in a panic.
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:10 PM   #22
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Don't panic. Everything happens for a reason. Just go with it.
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:13 PM   #23
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Seems to me he will not be a problem so if it was me I would NOT move to a bad area or a really crappy apartment no way no how. Nick all ready kows how much you love him so why make yourself miserable by moving to a crappy area. I mean who has the power here you have aready compromised for the place you have so why pick an even more crappy place. I say meet the ex and see where he is at before you settle for a crap neighborhood..
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:13 PM   #24
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I am just praying she lets me cancel the lease..... if she doesn't I don't know what I will do.............
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:15 PM   #25
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I'll find something else, even if it means commuting an hour and a half every AM for work for another month or two. Crossing my fingers for something better.
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:58 PM   #26
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WOW! I would never let someone change my plans especially just guessing what they might do. And I would for sure not settle for a lesser life and compromise that much for anyone unless I was absolutely sure they may be a problem. Not only that but if someone may be a problem moving to another part of town will not change a thing they will find you anyway if they want to make problems for you. So if he has not harassed you the past two years I would not worry so much. Plus I have a Beretta 92 FS loaded and three good watch dogs so I know I will never have a problem with a psycho or a bear which came in my yard today but was just passing by but if he tried to get into the house? Well?
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Old 07-29-2008, 01:20 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Saphellae View Post
Do you think I can call her tomorrow and ask her to cancel the lease for that reason? I gave her the deposit and first months rent a month ago...

tell her your job fell through. only half kidding. she hasn't lost anything but a little time. hope she will let lease go.

babe
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Old 07-29-2008, 01:38 AM   #28
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Nick always is on the watch for the worst possible situation, for example he is scared that my ex will start leaving old pictures of us on our doorstep, vandalize our car, etc..
has nick actually expressed these fears to you, saph?
if so, with all due respect, he needs to grow up a little.

i know it may seem cute that he worries so much about losing you, but that's not a good thing.

if you want to do your part to help out the situation, do a search for co-dependence, and then nag him to death about it.

in another apartment...
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Old 07-29-2008, 04:39 AM   #29
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Saph - In your first post, you sais that you both knew that this was a possibility. I assume that you discussed "what if's" at that time. Other than the 50/50 becoming 100%, what has changed your/his "what if's".

While I agree that not having that appartment is the right thing to do, you have said that there might be a chance that he would not come, even if you move.

You do not say if you are currently in that appartment or not, so, I don't know if moving twice by yourself is an issue.

If you can get out of the lease AND get another appartment that you can afford just as well AND he is still coming, by all means do it.

In regard to commuting an hour and a half each way, really think about that. It is 3 hours out of your day, every day. If you get off work at 5:00, that is home by 6:30. settle, make dinner (7:30), eat. You get the idea, not mich of an evening to spend together.

Anyway, it all swings for the moment on the lease.. Do not fret. You are not in control at the moment. When you know about the lease, you are again in control of YOUR decisions.

AC
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Old 07-29-2008, 08:15 AM   #30
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WOW! I would never let someone change my plans especially just guessing what they might do. And I would for sure not settle for a lesser life and compromise that much for anyone unless I was absolutely sure they may be a problem. Not only that but if someone may be a problem moving to another part of town will not change a thing they will find you anyway if they want to make problems for you. So if he has not harassed you the past two years I would not worry so much. Plus I have a Beretta 92 FS loaded and three good watch dogs so I know I will never have a problem with a psycho or a bear which came in my yard today but was just passing by but if he tried to get into the house? Well?
Here, here! A voice of reason. You're letting your imaginings and emotions rule you, instead of visa versa.
Your making him BIGGER than the positives in your life; that is, your past, instead of your present & future.
If he hasn't bothered you, what makes you think that will change?
Take precautions; locks on doors & windows, always let someone know where you'll be, and notify your new landlord or other apartment dwellers of any anticipated problems, and get on with your (Nick & you) lives.
Would you let a stranger or loved one ruin your plans?
If the answer is yes, so be it - move, but not based on emotion. Use your head, or just get deeper into a hellish situation. Your landlord is under no obligation to get you
"off the hook". This is his business, you may have cost him a month's rent.
This isn't even Nick's decision, but it is yours.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Adillo303 View Post
Saph - In your first post, you sais that you both knew that this was a possibility. I assume that you discussed "what if's" at that time. Other than the 50/50 becoming 100%, what has changed your/his "what if's".

You are not in control at the moment. When you know about the lease, you are again in control of YOUR decisions.

AC
I disagree, Adillo. She is, or should be in control. It is she, if she chooses not to be, and gives up that power to someone, anyone else, that will have to live with other's decisions. You can choose to make mountains out of molehills or not. But we, here, don't really know if they are imagined or real mountains. Only she has ability to decide that.
Bite the bullet, make the decision, and deal with it.
Stay & take precautions, and live your life true to yourself. Or,
Move, possibly paying for the initial mistake with money, time spent travelling, possibly more expensive & LESS SECURE area.
Whatever the choice, someone else here said....
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

Whatever you decide, Good Luck.
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