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Old 08-03-2006, 12:00 AM   #1
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Upset Right Now...

I realize this probibly isn't the place but can't sleep and need to kind of vent... One of my cats died today and I feel like I killed her. I brought her to the vet with what I thought was an abcess which they said worse case scenario might need her to stay over night, then the vet got her and it turned out it is kitty breast cancer, and while they could have removed the infected tumor which was actually the size of a golf ball and hairless (she took all the fur off of it in the last two days), for the nominal fee of $500 chances were she would still have died within 6 mths as they could already feel it had spread through to her other mammories. I then got a pithy little lecture that I waited too long to have her fixed (got it done when she was 2 and not when she was a kitten) and this may not have occured had it been done before her first heat. I sat beside her while they euthanized her as it was already bothering her and was just going to keep getting worse. This was a couple hours ago... and I can't seem to calm down so I thought writing this might help... I'm sorry if this isn't the time or place, just needed to say it...


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Old 08-03-2006, 12:09 AM   #2
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Trip I know exactly how you feel. I lost my boxer to cancer back in 2000. I still miss him like crazy. With him it literally came out of nowhere. Within a week he was gone. This isn't your fault. Don't let the lecture bring you down because honestly it sounds like she would have gotten it whether she was fixed earlier or not. I hate to say this but it'll be a long hard road for you. I know, I dwelled for months if I did the right thing for Max or not. I'm still not sure to this day. But if you need to talk I'll be here for you and help you any way I can. I'm so very sorry about your loss.

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Old 08-03-2006, 12:16 AM   #3
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Trip, this is definitely the place to bring this up. Keep in mind, we're family here and we're here to help when you need it. The reason you can't sleep is because you dearly loved her. I think that's completely wonderful that you were able to share a wonderful time with such a sweet pet. Cherish her memory. (((hugs))), jkath
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Old 08-03-2006, 12:46 AM   #4
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I am so sorry for your loss. My little kitty means the world to me.

This isn't your fault. Life is full of what ifs and maybes. And I don't think the vet was helpful saying those things to you.

Your kitty gave you lots of love as you gave her, and I'm sure she was very grateful to ahve you as her owner, and to have you with her when she passed on.

Try and remember the warm cuddles and kitty kisses, and realise that this happened and it's tragic, but it's not your fault.

Hugs and love to you.
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Old 08-03-2006, 12:49 AM   #5
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my heart hurts for you. I know how you feel, when I lost my Max a red doxie, I was in misery for months. I felt I'd been to blame, and although I realise now I wasn't I had to come to that by myself. Don't let the vet or anyone else lay guilt on you, you did what you thought best and what's more you are the one who loved the cat not the vet. Ignore the I know it all lecture and remember your furry friend with love in your heart. There are many of us here who are animal lovers as you are so coming here is a wonderful place to share your hurt and let us try in some small way to make you feel better.

hugs to you,
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Old 08-03-2006, 07:15 AM   #6
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sorry about your loss of your friend. I would for sure change vets.
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Old 08-03-2006, 07:52 AM   #7
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Are you kidding? Just like Jkath said, this IS the place to let it go!! We're here to help, no matter the subject.
Trip, my dog Kasey, died from breast cancer in November. Yes, they say that you can cut the chances of it by getting them spayed young, but, that doesn't always help. Money kept us from doing this and still does. We have 2 more females that need to be fixed, but, are unable to. Your vet should have taken a different route on telling you this instead of using it as an accusation!! They could have said that, for future reference, have your pet spayed early and it can help reduce the possibility of this happening again. I never knew that dogs or cats could get breast cancer. I never thought about anything outside of rabies, distemper and parvo. I have seen them get small tumors in different areas, but, never dreamed that they could get breast cancer, testicular cancer, brain cancer etc....
DO NOT beat yourself up over this!!!! You loved her and she was happy with you! If you hadn't taken her, where would she have been? Maybe she wouldn't even have lived as long without you. You did good in taking her and giving her a home. Be at peace with yourself that you did this and that you cared and loved her for the time you had her!!! You will always learn different things, no matter your age. Use what you learn for the next time. That's all you can do in life.
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:19 AM   #8
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Hi, Trip; I'm sorry for your loss. What everyone else said about ignoring what your vet said goes for me too! And I'd suggest if you have other animals, to shop for a new vet! Lectures have no place in a crisis; and, in fact, his lecture may have been an uninformed view at the very least.

There is a -lot- of evidence starting to show up re the 'best time' for spaying/neutering pets. What studies are beginning to show is that the 'growth plates' of the animals don't close until sexual maturation of the animal; thus, very early spaying/neutering prevents the closure of the growth plates at the major joints which can cause very serious problems down the road for the animal. There are other factors, too, but I don't want to overwhelm you with all the info.

Just wanted to let you know that there are very well informed alternate opinions on when to spay/neuter, and again to say your ? compassionate vet - had absolutely NO right to lay any kind of trip on you during a crisis with your animal.
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:36 AM   #9
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This is the perfect place for you post - and remember a huge number of us have been where you are right now, maybe less the guilt you are unjustly feeling right now. What a wonderful life your kitty cat had with you - remember that!!!
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:52 AM   #10
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost two dogs to cancer and it feels awful.

You vet must be really special if he/she can predict with any crtainty what would have happened if something had been done at a different time.

He's an idiot. change vets.

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