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Old 04-28-2012, 11:07 AM   #2231
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No fun. I hope the heater lets you get what you need to done.
I hate to say this, because I don't want to tempt the Fates, so far so good.
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Old 04-28-2012, 02:19 PM   #2232
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Good Luck TL.
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Old 04-28-2012, 04:01 PM   #2233
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Good Luck TL.
Thanks

I'm going out tonight. Danish Club of Montreal is celebrating it's 90th anniversary! I'm taking public transit.
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:20 PM   #2234
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I have been super depressed lately even though some things have been going well. Tomorrow marks 2 months since we lost Dad and I miss him terribly but haven't really been able to grieve...or not knowing how.

On top of that, the bank that he dealt with for probably 50 years and put all his investments in, is being a real pain.

They have messed up accounts, sent me on wild goose chases to get cheques redone to say "The Estate of" and they make a regular chequing account in my Dad's name (no "The Estate of") so when I go to deposit the cheques they tell me I can't because this is a personal account and not an estate account....oh, and they are charging us fees on it as well.

My sister has just filed for probate last week and I get a call from an investment councilor this same bank asking how I am doing and do I want to get things started in managing my money when I get it. I told him in no uncertain terms that a) we will be dealing with OUR bank and while I do have accounts at that bank, I will just be putting some savings there. I told him that I can't process this now and that I would much sooner have my Dad back than his money so I am not going to talk to anyone about it until it is here. He said he would call me in a month and I told him that if I needed his services I will call HIM!

That made me feel a little better and writing it all down here helped too, but I know I need some help to deal with my loss or my depression will keep building.

Tomorrow I have to deal with the Estates Dept. of the bank, the Federal Government on money that is owing to Dad but was locked out of the direct deposit on Dad's account and an insurance company that might still be holding a policy.

Oh, and first thing I get to go to the dentist about my chipped tooth and gum abscess (Addie will be happy with me! ). At least I am getting a hair cut so hopefully that is my reward!

Thanks for listening - this was written with a lot of tears and frustration.
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:42 PM   #2235
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{{Hugs}}
Please find someone to talk to. A support group, a grief counselor, someone with experiance who can listen and help you find the solutions that are right for you to grieve. Remember that their is no right way to grieve, the process is different for each person, and their is no time limit on grieving. Be patient with yourself too. We love you. Please take care of yourself and you're welcome to send me a pm at any time.
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Old 05-01-2012, 08:32 PM   #2236
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{{Hugs}}
Please find someone to talk to. A support group, a grief counselor, someone with experiance who can listen and help you find the solutions that are right for you to grieve. Remember that their is no right way to grieve, the process is different for each person, and their is no time limit on grieving. Be patient with yourself too. We love you. Please take care of yourself and you're welcome to send me a pm at any time.
Hi LP...exactly what PAG said! {{{{{LP}}}}}
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Old 05-01-2012, 08:54 PM   #2237
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I just got off the phone with the Hospice Society where Dad passed away. I have been holding onto a letter since the beginning of April offering support. I wanted to call but couldn't - Dad was only there for 8 hours, it is in the next city, and other stupid excuses.

After I vented here and read PAG's reply I just broke down. I was going to email so they would make the initial contact (I mean what do I say?). But I drummed up enough courage to phone and this delightful lady answered. The grief counselor had left for the day, but this lady kept me talking for about a half hour! She tried to put my mind at ease about leaving Dad the night he died and many other things. She has given me information for the Surrey Hospice Society which is only a few block from where we live, so I will try and call there Thursday or Friday (tomorrow is filled with many appointments). But I think I feel a little better for having reached out. She believes I need some one on one counseling and I think she is right.

This doesn't mean I am better, it just means I made a first step. Thanks PAG and PF - your hugs and concern mean a lot. I am hoping that one day in my life I can come out from under this cloud of depression once and for all.
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Old 05-01-2012, 09:05 PM   #2238
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I just got off the phone with the Hospice Society where Dad passed away. I have been holding onto a letter since the beginning of April offering support. I wanted to call but couldn't - Dad was only there for 8 hours, it is in the next city, and other stupid excuses.

After I vented here and read PAG's reply I just broke down. I was going to email so they would make the initial contact (I mean what do I say?). But I drummed up enough courage to phone and this delightful lady answered. The grief counselor had left for the day, but this lady kept me talking for about a half hour! She tried to put my mind at ease about leaving Dad the night he died and many other things. She has given me information for the Surrey Hospice Society which is only a few block from where we live, so I will try and call there Thursday or Friday (tomorrow is filled with many appointments). But I think I feel a little better for having reached out. She believes I need some one on one counseling and I think she is right.

This doesn't mean I am better, it just means I made a first step. Thanks PAG and PF - your hugs and concern mean a lot. I am hoping that one day in my life I can come out from under this cloud of depression once and for all.
Good for you, LP! That's what Hospice is there for. I am always willing to sit and talk with any family member who has lost a loved one, especially those families whose parents I took care of. Not all of us are Ogres, you knowxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Old 05-01-2012, 09:12 PM   #2239
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(((hugs LP))) I'm glad you are going to start taking care of yourself.
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Old 05-02-2012, 05:53 AM   #2240
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LP, be patient with yourself. You have had a wound to your soul. Just like a physical wound, it takes time to heal. Reach out for any assitance that is available. Just like you would to a doctor for a physical injury.
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