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Old 08-05-2012, 02:47 AM   #1
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Your Third Place

I know I started a line like this many moons ago (it may have even been before DC), but something I just wrote brought it to the front of my mind yet again:

Your first place is your home; where you live. Your second place is your job, where you go every day to make payments on the first place (!)

What is your third place?

I have always had a "happy hour" place. Long about 5-6 p.m. on Fridays, Everywhere I've lived, you can find me at a favored bar, sipping some wine. I met my husband at such a place. Right now, if you come to my town, anyone knows to look for me at 5, and I have about a dozen like-minded friends who will be there with us.

There are a few men who are at the library when it opens (11 a.m.), and they sit together mostly in silence, reading all the newspapers.

I've yet to find a town that doesn't have a McD's group of retired men sitting over breakfast/coffee, hashing over the latest.

We all love our spouses, but no one can be everything for another, 24/7. Where do you go to socialize on a regular basis?


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Old 08-05-2012, 04:27 AM   #2
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It used to be the local saloon for me also, now it is the Sunday morning Flea Market! It reminds me of the vendors in Albert Square on EastEnders. I spend a couple of hours shopping and catching up on the news with the regular shoppers and vendors. It is always interesting to me how people percieve you in these different places in your life, and how few get it right!

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Old 08-05-2012, 04:35 AM   #3
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i used to hang out in one of two irish pubs on west 57th in nyc: dj reynolds, or kennedy's pub. lots of really great friendships and funny stories came out of those two watering holes. through those friendships, i got to see dublin, belfast, derry and the central and north west of ireland like few other american tourists have. not as a tourist, but as a son.

that was 8 years ago and counting. need to get to the old sod soon.

since then, my third place is a baseball field, or somewhere to fish. i get to be a kid again for a while.
The past is gone it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:30 PM   #4
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Money is tight now so I socialize at home. I just tell my friends to bring the meat and drinks, and I entertain them. :)
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Old 08-05-2012, 08:46 PM   #5
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I have a few regular spots I like to go, but for the most part my third place is part of my first place - the back yard! Most evenings in the summer we just enjoy sitting out on the deck or patio, having a glass of wine, and watching the world go by.
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:02 PM   #6
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My third place used to be a cafe I had breakfast at on Monday mornings when my rotation was over. Shrek would already be off to work so home was all by myself until he got home. Then when he started working nights, I hung out at a 24 hour espresso bar, close to his work. Since he retired, I just come home...I think Shrek is my third place...
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:10 PM   #7
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I've never been one for watering holes, even when I was young and neither was Buck. Our evening ritual was sitting on our patio/deck/porch with a cold adult beverage.

For Glenn and me, it's a similar scenario. On comfortable nights we can be found in the swing on our big back porch.

As for the being together with a spouse/SO 24/7, I've always cherished that. When Buck and I moved to Kentucky in 1994, we were together 24/7 until he died in 2008. Those were the best years of our lives together.

Now, it's the same for Glenn and me and were as happy as two clams at high tide. I think, though, at our age we realize that we don't have many years left to enjoy together and we fill each day to its fullest.

My husband has always been my first and third place.
"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:12 PM   #8
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I don't have a second place...I work from home (when I have projects). PF, I like your sentiment that Shrek is your third place...how sweet.
I've got OCD--Obsessive Chicken Disorder!
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:44 AM   #9
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Yeah, yeah. I've been married for 30 years and just love my husband. But if you think that one person can be your be-all-to-end-all, what are you going to do? Seriously. My husband and I are 60-ish. We need to take care of each other, but also need to make sure we have a life outside of our home.
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Old 08-06-2012, 01:32 AM   #10
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Since I am now limited in my mobility and retired, I have to admit my second place is my kids. Having outlived two husbands, no desire to go that route again. And since I don't drink, watering holes are off my list also. Three of my kids live nearby. I see them often, one on a daily basis. I am one of those folks who have no problem being alone. I enjoy my own company. I always have something to do or a project to work on. I have some friends in the building. And some at Winthrop that go to Day Care more than I do. I go only when I have to. I don't like people prying into my private life. So I can sometimes be standoffish. I have nothing to hide, I just enjoy being alone soometimes.

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