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Old 03-07-2005, 06:55 PM   #1
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Arrow Suspended Because Mother Wouldn't Spank Him

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. -- The mother of a 6-year-old boy who attended Schaumburg Christian School said school officials suspended him from first grade Wednesday because she refused to spank him for disciplinary reasons.

Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson said she was called to the school because her son, Chandler, was talking too much in class, chewing gum and bringing toys to school, Anna Davlantes reported.

"The administrator ... called me outside her office and said that it needed to be handled. I said, 'OK, when I take him home, I'll use my form of discipline,' and she said, 'No, either you go inside my office and spank him, or I am suspending him from school for a day,'" Fallaw-Gabrielson said.

"At that point, my eyes filled with tears and I said, 'I guess he's just suspended for the day,'" she said.

Fallaw-Gabrielson said she withdrew Chandler from the school the next day, Davlantes reported.

School officials defended the decision because parent-administered corporal punishment is clearly outlined in the school guidelines, something that parents must sign off on.

"I bring it to their attention because I want them to know about this before I enroll their child. I tell them that if their child ever gets in this position that they have an option. They do not have to spank -- it's their choice," school administrator Randy Thaxton said.

Fallaw-Gabrielson said she did not sign the agreement because she does not believe in spanking. She said she will home school Chandler for the rest of the school year and enroll him in an Aurora school after the summer.

"I put my son there for academic reasons, for moral structure. I didn't put my son there to be told I had to enforce corporal punishment on him," Fallaw-Gabrielson said.

The school's police is highly unusual, but experts say it's legal, Davlantes said. Illinois state law bans corporal punishment in public schools, but the law doesn't apply to private schools.


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Old 03-07-2005, 07:00 PM   #2
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Yet another good reason to home-school your kids! :roll:

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Old 03-07-2005, 10:13 PM   #3
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I really hate to say this but if a child can't be controled at the age of 6 years old how are they gonna be controled at the age of 16. Think about it.
"Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes."

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Old 03-07-2005, 10:40 PM   #4
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I would guess there was more to the situation than we're being told. That being said, there was a reason I home schooled for fifteen years!
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Old 03-07-2005, 10:51 PM   #5
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Tweed, I agree with you. I have a 2year old who is trying to push every button i've got. When a spaken is needed she may get one (I would never beat her but, you bet your bottom she will know that what she did was wrong). I think some parents truely don't believe in it but, I got spanked when I was little and I'm sure my parents got the same treatment. I pray that my child will be good in school and if not there will be some kind of punishment. Maybe not a spanking everytime but something as a consiquence. How else are these children going to learn that there is a consiquence for every wrong doing. If you let your child get away with things like disrespecting an adult, mouthing off, swearing, etc. You know exactly how they are going to end up. Unless, you take charge. Ok, Im done:)
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Old 03-07-2005, 11:05 PM   #6
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i'll admit it. i spank my kid when and ONLY when he pushes me way too far. i don't beat him. it's how i was raised as well as my parents. i see too many parents these days who let there kids run over them and these are the kids who tend to be in trouble with the law before they're 10. sad.

don't mean to offend anyone but that's my 2 cents.
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Old 03-08-2005, 12:30 PM   #7
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This whole ordeal took place fairly close to where I live and work, so I've seen quite a bit of the story on TV. Apparently the kid was being quite the little , so instead of handling the situation themselves, they call upon the parents to do the corporal punishment. I saw a representative from the school saying that the Bible clearly states that parents should smack their kids and so that is how they made this rule of smack or take a suspension. Personally, I see this as a cop out on the school's part, but I suppose that is their right to have such rules, since they are a private school. Basically, this shows a parent that they had better read all about it before signing their kid up for a school like that. I don't know why they didn't just take the one day suspension, since that is what they apparently agreed to, and then learn from that and look for a different school. I don't know how newsworthy this is.

I don't have children, so I don't judge how they need to be raised and reprimanded. My parents did not hit and I tend to like that approach. I've certainly seen some children who could use a good swat for acting the way they do. I'd like to think that diligent rearing habits would make that avoidable, but again I don't have any. I knew my limitations long ago.

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Old 03-08-2005, 01:34 PM   #8
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i'm sure there will come a time when my son will need to be disciplined, he's already quite a little mischevious wise guy, but i will have to wait to see if spanking will be warranted. my parents threatened spanking, but never actually did it. just a little sabre rattling (ok, it was actually a wooden handled coat brush), and it scared us straight. however, i definitely could have used to have my butt handed to me as a kid many times. i would think it depends on the child. some respond better to just knowing that they hurt and disappointed their parents, some need a good crack on the butt to drive the point home... (also, it was where my brain was located back then)
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Old 03-08-2005, 01:43 PM   #9
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There is a proper place to spank a child. There is a difference between spanking/disipline and abuse.

My mom used a switch on us, worked. We were not beaten or abused. Worked for my kids and grandkids both.

My niece has 6 kids and has tried everything. Nothing worked until she started using a switch.

Even some of the child gurus who in years past said spanking was a bad thing have now reversed their thinking.
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Old 03-08-2005, 02:57 PM   #10
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IMHO there is an excellent case for spanking...you can't "reason" with a very young child - 2 year olds do not understand why they shouldn't run into the street - they lack the ability to think abstractly about a car that might be comming...they do, however, understand that their parent will go balistic and give them a swat.

I learned quickly that a swat on the behind through all those diapers had little or no effect so I used a wooden spoon. I didn't need to spank often and it became more a line in the sand thing... "Do I need to get the wooden spoon" told him exactly where his behavior was leading him.

we moved when he was 18 months old to another house and I found a stash of wooden spoons he'd been hiding! I'd been wondering why it seemed I need to buy some every time I went to the grocery store!

Certainly after the age of 5 a child shouldn't need to be spanked - other consequences are much more appropriate.

By the way where was this young man's respect for authority? There are other ways of dealing with talking in class Also how in the world did he take toys or chewing gum to class more than once? Sounds like a socialization/parental responsibility problem to me and I'm not sure home schooling cures that.

My son knew that if he skipped class, for instance, it meant I would take time off from work and I would take him to every class all day long - the prospect of such parental humiliation made class look very good indeed.

I agree if nobody is teaching him self control by the age of 6 he's going to be a tremendous problem at 16! I think his parents heads are in the sand at this point!

Sorry for the rant but you found my hot button DS!

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