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Old 04-05-2012, 10:58 PM   #121
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http://www.wimp.com/dadipad/

(courtesy of Blissful)
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Old 04-06-2012, 01:31 AM   #122
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The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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Old 04-06-2012, 01:32 AM   #123
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The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:27 AM   #124
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Thanks for posting, Skittle68. I'm convinced I'd rather have a pet that's always happy to be around me over one that despises me and wants to kill me.
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Old 04-06-2012, 12:27 PM   #125
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My cats have a cat door so I wanted to add something to the effect: "I'm allowed to come and go freely, but I can no longer survive the harsh winters because I have acclimated to the controlled climate. I go on progressively longer excursions, but there isn't enough wild game in the area to sustain me. I try to build up stores for when I make my final escape, but my captors periodically find my hiding spot outside the door and dispose of my hard earned prey. I can tell by their reaction they are very opposed to me having such resources. I must find a new hiding place!"
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:35 PM   #126
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:56 PM   #127
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Originally Posted by Dawgluver View Post
Oh my gosh! That is one of the funniest things I have ever seen! It kept going from bad to worse! James can attest to the fact that I laughed hysterically through this one!
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:43 PM   #128
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coffeeee....
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:41 AM   #129
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Old 04-07-2012, 03:50 PM   #130
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I got this in a email a while ago.


These are not made up.
Check them out yourself!

1. 'Who Represents'is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is:
whorepresents.com

2. 'Experts Exchange'is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:
expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a great pen? Look
no further than' Pen Island '.
It can be found at:
penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try
'Therapist Finder' at:
therapistfinder.com

5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at:
powergenitalia.com

6.'IP computer'software, there's always:
ipanywhere.com

7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art'
await you at their wacky Web site:
speedofart.com


#4 has changed their domain, but the old one directs to the new one.
#5 seems to have sold their domain to a more appropriate company.

If anyone can explain #6, I would appreciate it.
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