Welcome to DC, Mary.
What a HORRIBLE thing this "friend" did to you, and to continue confessing to what she's been doing to your children. I hope you crossed her off your list of "friends". And for her to "attempt to pass it off as kosher" is an admission that she actually DID know you were Jewish....that was a conscious
attempt to FOOL you. There is absolutely no excuse for her doing this to you. This is nothing short of having blatant disregard for you and your family. Shame, shame on her.
How sad, too, that you feel alone in all this. For whatever reason you don't feel you can share this with your husband, this is something which is quite serious and IMHO, something that should
be shared with him. Again, MHO. You shouldn't have to go thru this alone. Please consider doing this.
You may be new to this board, but I can assure you, you are NOT alone here.