Oh--I'm heading back to Ontario on Friday. I've been with my folks for almost 8 weeks. In that time, I've had to clean my mother's butt (something I never thought I'd do--and more times than I'd like to recount--sorry--TMI), remind her to put on pants because she dressed for "town" in a top and panties, remade my parents bed because she couldn't find the queen-sized sheets and pinned (with big safety pins) double-sized sheets on the bed, taken a chunk of chocolate out of the linen drawer, kept her from jumping out of the boat 10 miles from shore when we went to the Lake...washed and set her hair, hugged her, and took her to the safety-deposit box to take out the cash she had stashed there because my dad has taken all her money out of her checking account and she likes having some money and screamed at my dad "this can't go on--I can't keep coming here and she can't continue to live like this." "She's fine when you're not here, it is only because you are here--" oh, please, give me a break!) I also have taken her "rollerboard" suitcase back in the house after she has packed it in preparation to "run away" or to come home with me three times now. Needless to say, I am heartbroken about leaving her. I am ANGRY at my father and at her doctor for not recognizing she needs more support (actually, she needs to be in a home or home with me, but short of taking the matter to court and having the rest of my family never speak to me again, I can't do that), I'm at my wits' end. Why is it so hard to get help for seniors? Why is it that the doctors won't help??????? How do you get the other person to stop being in denial? Why do I feel so awful about "enabling" my father when I'm only trying to make things easier for my mom? Where are my brothers? Is it too late for me to get a sex change? I want to be a son instead of the "good daughter" (never mind that I am the only daughter...). Word of advice--work out the care for your family members while they are all still mentally capable. Don't wait until one is no longer able to make decisions and the one who is "in charge" won't. Do I feel better now that I've vented? No. But thanks for reading this.
Not happy. So it's wrapped and I'm icing and elevating and resting while the hubby is still working. Took some ibuprofen and if it's still really bad or starts to swell or gets worse I'll get it checked. For now I'm just pouting a little because there is so much to get done and it's really not fair if the hubby ends up having to do most of it because I'm a clutz.
