The Homeless

[TATTRAT]

well, here is what I do...

If someone asks me for money, I ask why, if they say they are hungry, I will seriously stop what I am doing and take them to some place, normally a fast food place, and get them something. If they decline that, I say well, you should have been honest with me, if you wanted a beer, you should have said so...Everyone has a story, some need a kick in the pants, others are under the spell of an addiction, some are perfectly content being on the streets, others are truly in a tough spot and have lost everything.

I know this first hand, I was homeless. I was a kid on the streets for almost 2 years and have seen every side of being homeless. I have talked with people that don't consider them selves homeless, but "outdoors men". I have heard all the stories first hand, and there are some people that really got the bad end of the stick. For me, it was a moment of clarity where I realized, I could not live like this anymore, and I did everything in my power to change. Some people do not have that ability, or feel they are so down and out, that being on the streets is the only option.

I try to be fair and courteous to my fellow men/women. We are all people, whether or not you have a residence, and deserve the same amount of respect you would show to a co-worker or any other passer by on the street. I am not saying to befriend them, but just be friendly. Any adult knows if it is a crazy person, and to just pass on by, but you would be surprised to hear of how they became in the state they are, and it WILL make you more humble and grateful for what you do have.

 

[MexicoKaren]

It is clear to me that our group is very diverse, and there are obviously some members with whom I do not agree politically. In a different setting, I might feel compelled to argue over these issues, but this is not the place. We are all here because of our love for cooking, and so, rather than get disturbed over these differences, I try to focus on what we have in common and what we can learn from one another. Two things I have learned as I have aged: (1) not everyone is going to agree with me, and (2) that does not mean that they are not capable of kindness and generosity. Comes as a surprise, I know!

 

[Constance]

My grandson has been homeless, but it was his own doing. After he alienated all his family members by stealing, lying and violence, he went through a number of girlfriends, and then his guy friends, until finally nobody wanted him in their home. He lived in a tent out in the woods for a while, and thought it was pretty cool at first, but it got old pretty fast.
Now he seems to have changed his ways, and is holding down a job flipping burgers, but he's living in a motel because he's lied so much in the past that no one trusts him.
Our son in Florida is willing to give him a chance though, and is coming up here this month to visit, and will take the boy back with him, help him find a job, and give him a place to stay until he gets on his feet.

I only hope he's truly learned his lesson, and that he won't mess up this time.

 

[Corey123]

Corey have you ever tried to get a job when you are homeless? Think about it. If you are homeless then you have no place to wash up or shower. You have no place to clean your cloths. How many employers do you think would want to hire someone in dirty worn out rags who has not showered in who knows how long?

How do you know that most of them do not want to get help? That is a very broad statement. Have you talked to them to know this?

Why would you just assume that these people would steal from you because they are homeless. Have you ever heard about judging a book by its cover?

I would not invite them into my home in most cases, but just because they are strangers, not because they are homeless.

Sorry that I sounded so harsh. But I DO know some things about the homeless.


I was never homeless, but however, I DID go out every day last year and the year before looking for a job. No one in the city would hire me.

They more than likely thought that I was probablytoo old, but they used some bogus excuse like I'm not qualified when my resume proves that I AM qualified for the line of work that I was seeking, which is or was cooking.

In late '06, I was stricken with CHF and couldn't work after several months. I had to apply for disability in order to make ends meet. I DO have a volunary job tutoring children.

But I've worked for over 40 years of my life and busted my butt to make a living. If I wasn't disabled, sure, I'd work longer. But this is through no fault of my own.

And yes, to answer your question, I HAVE tried to talk to some of them. And they flat out refused to try to go get help. I became friends with some of them and tried to help them.

The only other thing that I'll say is that they can't be helped if they don't want the help.

 

[Saphellae]

I suppose that in different geographical areas, the stories differ.

Here in downtown montreal, I think there are more of the worst sort than of the good sort who just need an extra boost.

There are always people outside of the supermarkets, on corners, in front of drug stores. Some of them use their children to beg for money, some of them have a dog beside them. And it seems that some of them rotate corners. They seem to have a system. I came to montreal about 5 years ago with my mom and I saw a woman with two dogs. The SAME woman 5 years ago now sits in front of a pharmaprix downtown. Sometimes its her, sometimes a younger guy, sometimes someone completely different. It's a gimick, using the dogs and having a bag of dog food beside her on the blanket.

I'm sure that some of them are not there by choice, but it seems that alot of them are (the ones that I see, anyways). You can tell that they are drunk (smell) or high (behavior).

There is a guy that sits down here at the convenience store on the tables and calls out to everyone.... exactly...:

"Cigarette....? Cigarette....? Cigarette.... ? Change...? Change...? Change...? **** You... **** You... **** you...."

He either has some sort of disability or is very rude!

 

[buckytom]

how dare he ***** smoke near pets and children! or worse, speak for his two invisible friends!

sheesh!

 

[Saphellae]

Lol!!!!!!!

 

[suzyQ3]

Sorry that I sounded so harsh. But I DO know some things about the homeless.


I was never homeless, but however, I DID go out every day last year and the year before looking for a job. No one in the city would hire me.

They more than likely thought that I was probablytoo old, but they used some bogus excuse like I'm notqualified when my resume proves that I AM qualified for the line of work that I was seeking,which is or was cooking.

In late '06, I was stricken with CHF and couldn't work after several months. I had to apply for disability in orderto make ends meet. I DO have a volunary job tutoring children.

But I've worked for over 40 years of my life and busted my butt to make a living. If I wasn't disabled, sure, I'd work longer. But this is through no fault of my own.

And yes, to answer your question, I HAVE tried to talk tosome of them. And they flatout refused to try to go get help. I became friends with some of them and tried to help them.The only other thing that I'll say is that they can't be helpedif they don't want the help.

You say that you'd work longer if you were not disabled and that this is no fault of your own. But remember that someone else who doesn't know your story might judge you as harshly as you seem to judge the homeless.

I will never believe that any significant number of human beings willingly choose for any significant length of time to live in an environment normally associated with our homeless population. Never.

 

[Saphellae]

THere are some nicer ones though, That sit there day in and day out saying "God Bless You" "Have a great day" among other niceties. There is one dear man that sits on the steps of a church downtown who does this... though he has his hat out lol

 

[Saphellae]

Suzy, fact of the matter is that there ARE people who are lazy enough to live that life and get free stuff. Sure it may be hard for them say, come winter (in a colder climate), but there are people who choose that life. It could be just the simple fact that they are criminals, or they have lied to so many people that nobody trusts them anymore and they continue to. There are many reasons why people choose that life, either through their actions or through a specific choice of their own.

I agree though that alot of them are just unable to work due to a disability or an illness, and that it was their last resort. I feel for those people, but it is SO hard to tell them apart from the others who lie.

 

[MexicoKaren]

If you guys get tired of hearing about Mexico, just let me know, but I wanted to add that in the 2+ years we have been here, I can count the number of homeless people I've seen on one hand. Occasionally, someone will come to our gate and ask for money for bus fare into Puerto Vallarta (5 pesos/50 cents), and once we had a woman come to our gate and ask for money for medicine for her baby (50 pesos/5 dollars). Once in awhile, you see someone in Vallarta holding out a cup for donations, but they almost always give something in exchange (chiclets, candy, etc.) Seems that people are taken care of by their families here, at least in our area.

 

[quicksilver]

b.t.~~~~! There you go again. Held it in pretty long today!

 

[Corey123]

You say that you'd work longer if you were not disabled and that this is no fault of your own. But remember that someone else who doesn't know your story might judge you as harshly as you seem to judge the homeless.

I will never believe that any significant number of human beings willingly choose for any significant length of time to live in an environment normally associated with our homeless population. Never.

I expect to be judged as a hardball or a cold and cruel heel.

But it's the truth. I speak from experience when I say that for a number of years, I've helped homeless people, and all that it got me was nowhere, and I ended up paying for it big time!

Because when some of them lived with me, they were on recreational drugs, stole from me, lied and freeloded off me with no effort to try to pull their own weight.

As Constance pointed out, and she was right, when someone does that, it's their own doing, and she's also right, they lie, cheat and steal, money is missing, electronic equipment, microwaves and other valuables suddenly end up missing, yet no one knows who took the stuff.

People who do that are not your friends.

 

[David Cottrell]

Just thinking about the experiences Corey123 has shared. Just so you know, I tried hard one time to help a person out who seemed if they just could catch a break maybe the corner would be turned. Well it was for me - learned alot in the doing, like how was it that checks of a sudden were bouncing all over? The secret for stealing checks is to take them from the back of the check book. That way the victim won't suspect a thing until the notices start coming from the merchants and from the bank, wanting reimbursement and of course those big fees. It gives you some running room!

 

[buckytom]

corey, it's pretty normal to become hardened to a situation once you've been burned by it. so no worries.

however, as amy pointed out, the problem of homelessness is getting worse with the bad economy. there'll be a lot more decent people who will expand the ranks of the homeless, and therefore will need other good people to help out.
be grateful for having the grace of god not to be in their situaton, and not continue to be bitter for your material losses.

sorry, i'll stop preaching now.

 

[Corey123]

corey, it's pretty normal to become hardened to a situation once you've been burned by it. so no worries.

however, as amy pointed out, the problem of homelessness is getting worse with the bad economy. there'll be a lot more decent people who will expand the ranks of the homeless, and therefore will need other good people to help out.
be grateful for having the grace of god not to be in their situaton, and not continue to be bitter for your material losses.

sorry, i'll stop preaching now.

Not a problem.

But I'm not bitter - just careful now.

Yes, you're right, those things ARE material and can be replaced. But if I told you that I've been burned big time with 6 big rip-offs in as little as 5 years,
you'd probably think that I'm kidding, but I'm not.

It takes years to replace or get that stuff back, buying it that is, but it only takes two seconds to lose it. And since I'm on a fixed income, I can't just go right out and replace that stuff in a heartbeat.

Someone I know who cleaned me out before, I ran into last year. He gave me his number, but I didn't even bother calling him. I tore it up and threw it away. He more than likely is still on crack.

Chances are, that he might have wanted to try to get back in good graces with me, and before you know it, he would have been trying to inch his way back into my life and place and start the same thing all over again!! Not a happening thing.

 

[suzyQ3]

Sorry, but most of the faults some of you are describing are hardly peculiar to the homeless. If you knew, say, a student who stole from his roommates, cheated on his gf, and passed off others' work as his own, would you make blanket statements about all students?

I'm not suggesting inviting strangers in for a sleepover or any direct action at all; I'm just suggesting less generalizing/stererotyping and a little more compassion for those who may not be as fortunate as you are...at this moment.

 

[GB]

Sorry, but most of the faults some of you are describing are hardly peculiar to the homeless. If you knew, say, a student who stole from his roommates, cheated on his gf, and passed off others' work as his own, would you make blanket statements about all students?

I'm not suggesting inviting strangers in for a sleepover or any direct action at all; I'm just suggesting less generalizing/stererotyping and a little more compassion for those who may not be as fortunate as you are...at this moment.

Perfectly said!

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Years ago I was walking in downtown Winnipeg, and we passed a really, really down and out person (either on drugs or alcohol) begging for money. The person with me said "Someone, somewhere, has baby pictures of him". That phrase has always stuck with me.

I'm sitting here with a big wad of Kleenex in my hand. I needed them after reading this. That phrase sums up perfectly how I hope to view every homeless or unfortunate person I see from this day forward. Thank you for this gift, Loprraine.

 

[Corey123]

Sorry, but most of the faults some of you are describing are hardly peculiar to the homeless. If you knew, say, a student who stole from his roommates, cheated on his gf, and passed off others' work as his own, would you make blanket statements about all students?

I'm not suggesting inviting strangers in for a sleepover or any direct action at all; I'm just suggesting less generalizing/stererotyping and a little more compassion for those who may not be as fortunate as you are...at this moment.

Which is why I show compassion for them at a distance. And hope and pray that they try to go get some help.

And I know that if you yourself have been burnt once, you'd take the necessary steps to avoid the same thing from happening again. Not to wish any bad luck on you at all.

But the bottom line is, that help IS availible out there for them, and it more than likely costs them nothing. Nothing but time work and patience.

Some will ask for money and they are usually standing next to a liquor store, so you know what they want the money for. And if they are drunk or they drink to get drunk, I figure that if I were to give them money, well, I'm hurting them even more because that is more alcohol in their system, stomach and liver. That's why I shy away from giving them money.

Some will ask for money to get somethinjg to eat, or they eat food from the trash can.

I know that in Boston during the torridly hot summer weather and during the most bitterly cold days of winter, the homeless shelters and the police will go around and try to pull the homeless off the streets so that they won't die from the blazing heat of the sun or the bitter cold.

I can only look at them and shake my head. I might suggest to them to try to get to a shelter, but it's still up to them to make the move. Otherwise I can't force them to do it.

Here's another one of my old sayings; You can lead a horse or a dog to water, but you can't make them drink it.

I really don't have anything against them. They are human beings as well. Actually, it's society and the system that is failing them. I've always said that in cases like this, the system is broken and it needs to be fixed.