Etiquette Part 2

[suzyQ3]

The current thread on table manners had me wondering a couple things:

How many of you actually set the table on a daily basis as opposed to putting food on plates, grabbing a fork, and sitting down?

Does anyone have an aversion to putting jars or bottles of food or drink on the table?

Do you use cloth napkins daily or go for the expendable paper ones?

So overall, how casual or formal do you get in serving and eating your daily meals?

 

[bethzaring]

I set the table daily

Usually I transfer condiments to some of my pretty pitchers, gotta justify buying 'em. The only exception is burgers where I plop the ketchup bottle on the table.

I use paper napkins for DH and me and cloth when company is around.

 

[licia]

My answer is much like Beth's. I do set the table each meal except when dh gets to the table in the morning before I do, then he gets a cereal bowl. I put condiments in small containers for the two of us. We only use cloth napkins when I set the dining room table - which is mostly when the kids or company come. As long as our children were home we always had at least one meal a day together. My opinion on manners is that it makes the meal more enjoyable for everyone.

 

[PytnPlace]

OMG, we are way casual when it's just us. Grab a fork, a bev and bring the bottles of condiment of choice to the table.

 

[Andy M.]

During the week SO and I sit at the kitchen counter on stools for dinner. She sets the places with plates, silverware, glasses and napkins and I serve the food either onto the plates or onto serving dishes.

Condiments stay in their jars for just us folks.

On weekends, we sit at the dining room table for dinner.

Paper napkins.

I did all the same things when I lived and ate alone. I figured I was worth it. I never ate over the sink.

 

[QSis]

I never ate over the sink.

One of my favorite all-time fictional characters is Edward X. Delaney, a detective in Lawrence Sanders' "Deadly Sins" novels.

Delaney makes himself THE most mouth-watering-sounding sandwiches and eats them, lovingly, while standing up, over the sink, so he won't make a mess or dirty a plate.
Kind of an endearing.

Lee

 

[RedBedHead]

We do a bit of both. I would say four times a week my table is properly dressed and the other three are either eating out or grab your food from the kitchen and cop a squat. We always eat together as a family at the table though. With a nearly eight year old it's the only opportunity to really pick his brain.

 

[XeniA]

Honestly? Nine times out of ten food is served at the stove, plates and utensils, salt, pepper and condiments laid out on the adjoining counter. Each person serves himself and we then eat sitting on the sofas, plates plunked onto some stacking IKEA stools bought for the purpose. We then watch the news.

Ketchup is served from the squeeze bottle it came in.

Napkins are often as not squares of kitchen paper off the roll.

... however, despite what common theory would have you believe, my two teenaged children do me proud when we eat more formally, whether at home or as guests or in a restaurant. They both, without reminding, first unfold their napkins onto their laps. They eat with their mouths shut and swallow before talking. The ask for food to be passed to them IF they're somewhere where that's done (like their grandparents' house in the States) and quietly reach for what they need where that's the norm (here), but never jam their elbows in someone else's face in the process.

They ask to be excused when done.

They both know how to pay polite attention to others at the table, to assist and/or amuse younger children, and not to complain about any of the food served nor request something special.

In short, let's not make a cause-and-effect link between the failure to maintain a family dining table and poor manners, because it ain't necessarily so!

 

[StirBlue]

We (at my house) are in debate as to how long one should sit down and dine.
If we are at a serve yourself buffet, I think 45 minutes and they think 30.
If we are at fast food, I think 30 and they think 15.

At home it is 30-45 minutes for a weekday meal.
I can see eating a breakfast muffin with juice in 5 minutes.

Most companies give people 30 min to an hour for lunch. Is most of that errand time?

If you go to a restaurant and order off the menu, seems like the food doesn't arrive at your table instantly; sometimes it 30-45 mins before they bring it to you. And you know it's going to be longer than that if there's crackers on the table or they immediately bring you a bread basket. Longer if they refill your drinks. Longer still if they have a salad bar.

 

[boufa06]

Most of the time DH and I have our meals at the kitchen table and sometimes if convenient, that is, if the food can be piled up on a plate and eaten with a spoon like Chinese food, we would sit in front of the tv watching his favourite soccer and basketball games and of course Super Bowl. On special occasions, the dining table will be fully set with tablecloth, napkins, cutlery and the likes.

 

[VeraBlue]

Hi Suzy

When my children were younger and actually still present for meals, yes we did set the table for every meal. Breakfast was placemats but dinner was a tablecloth. For an everyday meal I'd use paper napkins, but anything even slightly festive got cloth napkins.

Now that I more or less live alone (my son commutes to college now, but I rarely see him) I usually eat alone, as well. Dinner for me is a can of soup or some leftover. I will set a place for myself with a placemat.

When I cook on Saturday and Sunday, however, it's back to the old way. Cloth tablecloth, and now we always use cloth napkins.
Yes, I eschew bottles or jugs or jars on the table. I have bowls and pitchers and even a lovely decanter for those items that may require it. I may make an exception to a bottle of wine that shouldn't be decanted.

 

[YT2095]

I`m with Ayrton totaly, we do exactly the same, that`s not to say that if we Had the space to put a table, we wouldn`t eat from there, we simply just don`t have anywhere to put one.
we have a Garden set with a table that we eat at in summer though.

 

[XeniA]

Well, since I'm baring my soul today, I'll admit even further that it's not for lack of tables that we eat as we do. In fact, within spitting distance of my kitchen, I have THREE tables, all fully functioning. I have the kitchen table, the "good" table, and the balcony table.

It's really just that by the time we get in from the office and cook, it's time for the news which neither my husband nor I want to miss (the kids could do without, I cannot tell a lie) which is how this weekday habit evolved.

We do eat Sunday lunch/dinner at the kitchen table which is then set with everyday china, cutlery, and glasses. The paper towels, however, provide continuity ...

 

[bethzaring]

In my effort to reduce my usage of paper towels, I made about one dozen cloth napkins to use in DH's lunchbox. Picture this; DH opens lunch box, spreads cloth napkin on lap, takes out ww bread sandwich, usually meatloaf and kale, small baggie of fresh cut carrots and home made rolls, washed down with bottles of our spring water. Of course his co workers have the white bread/bologna and various bags of chips, cakes, cookies and pastries with cans of pop. They all kinda move away from him..........

 

[Uncle Bob]

Day in and day out...very casual here. Table set with knives/forks/glasses etc. Plates are set out on the cabinet...everyone serves themselves off of the stove/counter etc. The table always has Salt and 2 pepper mills..Louisiana Hot Sauce and Tabasco. Paper towels are the norm for everyone except me...I use a wash cloth!!

 

[RedBedHead]

In short, let's not make a cause-and-effect link between the failure to maintain a family dining table and poor manners, because it ain't necessarily so!

I can only assume that this comment was directed at me because I was the last poster. I fail to see where I (or anyone else) implied that this is so. I don't think it matters where you eat at all. In fact, my son's table manners are horrendous (which is something we're working on constantly). I really didn't mean to offend you.

 

[XeniA]

I can only assume that this comment was directed at me because I was the last poster. I fail to see where I (or anyone else) implied that this is so. I don't think it matters where you eat at all. In fact, my son's table manners are horrendous (which is something we're working on constantly). I really didn't mean to offend you.

First of all, not even slightly offended!

Secondly, no, it wasn't directed at you. Had it been, I would have quoted you. It was just a general comment about where I felt -- rightly or wrongly -- the thread might be heading. It was just the first thoughts that popped into my mind upon reading the rest of the thread which is usually how I post here!

You're right, I don't think anyone on this thread implied such a thing, but I do think that in general this theory's out there kicking about in the world. You know, the general decline of civilization as we know it being due to families no longer eating together, etc., etc.

 

[YT2095]

at least our way no one can ever say "get your elbows off the table" ;-P
I`ll go one further, quite often we`ll just use a fork, no knife or anything (depending on the dish), and when I do soup I serve it in large Mug type bowls, and we`ll consume it without a spoon

 

[XeniA]

at least our way no one can ever say "get your elbows off the table"

Speaking of elbows on the table, did'ja know that Miss Manners isn't really against this? Or at least not between courses when you're just sitting and talking and not actually trying to eat something with your elbow glued to the table (which is awkward, if nothing else).

Just thought I'd mention it, having stumbled across it in her book last evening (obviously inspired to pull it off the shelf by these threads).

 

[sparrowgrass]

I live alone, so I usually just fill my plate and grab some silverware. I often eat in front of the computer or the television. I do have my standards, however--food goes on a plate, no eating from the pot or other container.

When my son or other visitors eat with me, then the table is set. No containers on the table--food goes into serving dishes, condiments into small bowls.

I was talking to one of our child development specialist recently about this whole eating dinner together phenomenon. She said many low income folks don't even have a table.

The first furniture purchase is a bed, then the TV, then a sofa. Dining tables are way down the list.