Etiquette

[Janet H]

OK - I have to say, I don't care which hand you use to hold your knife or even how big the pieces are you cut and cram into your mouth but for pities sake - please CLOSE YOUR LIPS WHEN YOU CHEW. I don't want to see your half masticated victuals tumbling around in your pie hole. And...

Please chew quietly. No smacking or slurping. And...

Once you put something in your mouth DON'T pull it back out and examine it or scrape or wipe it off your tongue. Furthermore...

Do not blow your nose in my linen napkins. Don't forget...

Always thank the person who prepared or delivered your food either with words or tips and even if you didn't really like it very much. If someone cooked for you for FREE and you don't like it keep your mouth shut (the food will stay inside that way anyway). Finally...

No double dipping - ever.

Thank you.

 

[PattY1]

PattY1, when I say hold your cutlery like flags, I mean business end pointed to the ceiling, forefinger and thumb on the top. To cut, merely turn the cutlery business end down, thumb and forefinger are now pointed down, and go to town. I have seen many folks take the fork in a fist and stab business end down, pointing out the bottom of their fist. Does that make sense? I can't think how better to describe it.

My Mom was a Girl Guide Commissioner and told us as Guides one day we might have an opportunity to meet the Queen or some other royal and made sure we knew how to manage cutlery well.

Andy, Canadians switch hands as well. I tend to leave my fork in my left hand while cutting meat, or pushing food onto it, but switch when I'm eating salad or something else.

My Dad mentioned that one of the ways Germans caught a few North American spies during the War was to watch them eat. If they switched hands to after cutting their meat, they were busted! I don't know how true that is but it was a fun story.

Your picture of holding like a flag made it clear to me. The other I already understood. Thank you.

 

[Bolas De Fraile]

About 50yrs ago the company my Dad was the FD of won a contract to build a cement factory in Nigeria. The Nigerians came over with there wives to visit the factory here before the build started.
The factory manager was a brilliant Dane his wife was a lovely person and a brilliant cook but very formal. They hosted a dinner party at their house, my Dad said the food was fantastic and the Nigerians expressed their appreciation by burping and farting as is their custom.
Another custom is that when a woman is pregnant to purify the baby the man chews a special leaf and spits a lot.

 

[roadfix]

Tipping etiquette. I especially see many tourists from abroad who don't follow the tipping guidelines presented to them. That's not good for people here who depend on tips to make a living.

 

[Bolas De Fraile]

Tipping etiquette. I especially see many tourists from abroad who don't follow the tipping guidelines presented to them. That's not good for people here who depend on tips to make a living.

Fix mate you are quite right, the reason is our ignorance of your draconian payment methods for waitstaff. In the UK the min wage is about $9 an hrs, it was only when I talked to a student who worked for the "Outback" restaurant, I found that your min wage does not apply to people who may or may not earn tips, she was on a basic wage of $3.20 an hour. This method of payment is excellent for the management as the customer effectively pays for his meal and subsidises the wage bill. In Europe I pay for what is expected, good food and good service if both exceed my expectations I tip 10% in America if the food is poor but the service is good I give a 15% tip out of guilt, if the food was below standard in Europe I refuse to pay anything, I give them my full name and address and tell them to sue me. I have done this 3 times.

 

[taxlady]

Fix mate you are quite right, the reason is our ignorance of your draconian payment methods for waitstaff. In the UK the min wage is about $9 an hrs, it was only when I talked to a student who worked for the "Outback" restaurant, I found that your min wage does not apply to people who may or may not earn tips, she was on a basic wage of $3.20 an hour. This method of payment is excellent for the management as the customer effectively pays for his meal and subsidises the wage bill. In Europe I pay for what is expected, good food and good service if both exceed my expectations I tip 10% in America if the food is poor but the service is good I give a 15% tip out of guilt, if the food was below standard in Europe I refuse to pay anything, I give them my full name and address and tell them to sue me. I have done this 3 times.

I love the idea of leaving name and address and telling them to sue you.

In Quebec the general minimum wage, as of 2010 May 1, is $9.50/hr and $8.25/hr for "employees receiving tips".

 

[Somebunny]

Why are please, thank you and you are welcome to difficult for some folks to say? Really irritates me that people can't be bothered with these basics. It drives my husband insane when in response to "thank you" you get "uh huh". Is it that much harder to say you're welcome Another thing that peeves me is not receiving thank you notes (and I would even accept emails) for shower, wedding, or graduation gifts! I taught my daughter to send thank you notes when she was very young and I continued to remind her into her young adulthood (even though she had mastered the art by then) just my job to make sure she "minds her manners"! Lol!
One more rude thing that I can't stand...people leaving there shopping cart/buggy in a parking space. This falls under grocery store etiquette. I always return my cart and I really resent having to move/return one left by some lazy sot in order to park! Shame on them. Uh oh! My "soap box" is coming out!

 

[Bolas De Fraile]

I love the idea of leaving name and address and telling them to sue you.

In Quebec the general minimum wage, as of 2010 May 1, is $9.50/hr and $8.25/hr for "employees receiving tips".

Tax mate the reason I give my name and address is simple if you don't it becomes a criminal matter and the police will be involved, if you do it is a civil matter and the restaurants only recourse is to sue. That happened once, they claimed and I agreed that the $40 bottle of wine was perfect and I should pay, I argued that the wine was purchased to enhance the main course and that as the steaks were badly cooked and of inferior meat that only a full frontal lobotomy would have enhanced our dinning experience. I won and was awarded my full costs

 

[Bolas De Fraile]

Why are please, thank you and you are welcome to difficult for some folks to say? Really irritates me that people can't be bothered with these basics. It drives my husband insane when in response to "thank you" you get "uh huh". Is it that much harder to say you're welcome Another thing that peeves me is not receiving thank you notes (and I would even accept emails) for shower, wedding, or graduation gifts! I taught my daughter to send thank you notes when she was very young and I continued to remind her into her young adulthood (even though she had mastered the art by then) just my job to make sure she "minds her manners"! Lol!
One more rude thing that I can't stand...people leaving there shopping cart/buggy in a parking space. This falls under grocery store etiquette. I always return my cart and I really resent having to move/return one left by some lazy sot in order to park! Shame on them. Uh oh! My "soap box" is coming out!

We must be from the same genetic pool

 

[licia]

I haven't read this entire thread so don't know if this was mentioned or not, but, has anyone noticed what bad manners are used on tv - commercials, programs, etc. I've noticed several of the chefs on tv talking with food in their mouth and the commercials show people cramming their mouths with whatever the product that is being advertised. No wonder so many people have forgotten their manners, if indeed they were ever taught.

 

[Somebunny]

We must be from the same genetic pool

Well my dear Bolas, perhaps I should be looking for a long lost brother!

 

[Claire]

I'm surprised that wait staff still in some states are not paid minimum wage! When I was a waitress (in the 70s, in Virgina) waitresses were considered something like "household" servants, and we were paid very little (way below minimum wage), but we had to pay income tax on what the state of Virginia decided we might be making. Because I lived within the DC environs, it was based on what a high-end DC waitress would make. Ouch. Got me out of the restaurant industry, tout suite! People who complain about the IRS ought to go to Virginia to live.

 

[taxlady]

If a client has said they will come by to pick up tax returns between noon and 14h, do you think it's good enough to send email at 13h20 to say they can't come?

Wouldn't a phone call be more polite?

 

[Claire]

somebunny, the lack of manners, not to mention the abysmal use of the English language, on television is probably my husband's pet peeve in this subject, especially the complete lack of the words "you're welcome" after being thanked. You'll listen to interviewers. One day we were watching a news interview and the interviewer said, "Thank you." The interviewee said, "Thank you." And they made two rounds of it. Thank you-no-thank YOU-no THANK YOU." Hey, folks, the answer to thank you is you're welcome. De rien. Pas de quois. Da nada. It was nothing. But not several rounds of thank you!

Another one in the thank you wars is a problem I've had with friends over the year (especially those of the girlfriend variety). That is to say, when I'd compliment one of my friends on a nice dress or cute haircut, etc, they'd immediately put whatever I complimented them on down. "Oh, this old rag" or "Oh, I think she cut it all wrong." As the king said, etc., etc., etc. Finally I told a friend particularly inclined to the self-put-down upon receiving a compliment that she was insulting whoever was complimenting her. As in, this old rag? You must have truly terrible taste if you like my (dress, hairstyle, etc.). So once someone complimented her and she started in on how awful whatever she'd been complimented on, I said, "Susi-Q, the answer to a compliment goes something like this, "Thank you; I'm glad you like it."

 

[Andy M.]

If a client has said they will come by to pick up tax returns between noon and 14h, do you think it's good enough to send email at 13h20 to say they can't come?

Wouldn't a phone call be more polite?

I don't think it's more or less polite.

In the business world, emails are a common form of communication and have replaced phone calls in many situations. The reason for the communication is to let you know he's not coming.

Being older it was an effort for me to make that change but I did because I had to. Now I'm trying to deal with texting, but not while I'm driving.

 

[taxlady]

I don't think it's more or less polite.

In the business world, emails are a common form of communication and have replaced phone calls in many situations. The reason for the communication is to let you know he's not coming.

Being older it was an effort for me to make that change but I did because I had to. Now I'm trying to deal with texting, but not while I'm driving.

I don't object to email in the least. I find it less invasive when there is no rush. But, in this case, there was very little time left before the end of their "window". I waited until 14h30 and gave up. That was when I saw the email.

Is it reasonable to expect me to check my email every half hour?

 

[Andy M.]

...Is it reasonable to expect me to check my email every half hour?

If your business relies on email, you should check it frequently. How often depends on you and your business' needs.

I hear a notification sound on my computer when I get an email. Then I can check it and decide to read it or not.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

If a client has said they will come by to pick up tax returns between noon and 14h, do you think it's good enough to send email at 13h20 to say they can't come?

Wouldn't a phone call be more polite?

If you have given clients your e-mail address, then you must expect them to use it. Some people are more comfortable with e-mail than anything else, I know I am. I'd much rather e-mail than call.

If my business needed an e-mail account, I would set one up at Google (Gmail) for it and keep that one open during business hours so I could check it frequently.

 

[pacanis]

I'm just the opposite. I would rather take care of all my business in one phone call than a few back and forth emails. And I recently made a sizeable purchase from a company that allowed me to call them and answer my questions right then and there, rather than another company that did not want me to call them and kept emailing me back half answers, plus ignoring my quest to find a good time to call them. That's OK. I am quite happy with my purchase of a similar item from someone else.

I have a small business. I had a customer show up out of the blue yesterday just as I was opening. She said she emailed me she was coming...
Of course, I probably would not have seen my answering machine flashing first thing either, but email gives people the impression they can do business, or take care of business related things at any hour of the day. Whereas they might at least phone you during your open hours. In my experience.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I'm just the opposite. I would rather take care of all my business in one phone call than a few back and forth emails. And I recently made a sizeable purchase from a company that allowed me to call them and answer my questions right then and there, rather than another company that did not want me to call them and kept emailing me back half answers, plus ignoring my quest to find a good time to call them. That's OK. I am quite happy with my purchase of a similar item from someone else.

I have a small business. I had a customer show up out of the blue yesterday just as I was opening. She said she emailed me she was coming...
Of course, I probably would not have seen my answering machine flashing first thing either, but email gives people the impression they can do business, or take care of business related things at any hour of the day. Whereas they might at least phone you during your open hours. In my experience.

How did she get your e-mail address? If you give it out for your business, then you must expect client's/customers to use it. If you don't want to do business through your e-mail...don't give it out.

Let your customers know the e-mail is only looked at during business hours.

I placed an order yesterday at 6 PM, I fully understand that it will not be looked at until Monday...but then, I have a clue about how life is.