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Old 05-30-2008, 04:06 PM   #2501
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Stacy, I really feel for you. You seem to have had a lot to deal with lately. Is this the same son who may be the father of the baby? If so, then he really needs to grow up in a hurry - if he does turn out to be the father he will need to set a better example. I agree that the military sounds like a good plan. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I would also put a stop payment on the cheques that are unaccounted for as well. It will cost you a fee, but I am sure it will be less than the amount he could have written the cheques for.
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:08 PM   #2502
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TG... it's just one blow after another in your life. I'm sorry about your son. I think I'm even more sorry that you can't talk to your husband about it. That's really sad. I can't imagine being married and having children with someone I couldn't talk to or that I was afraid of.
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:28 PM   #2503
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Tg, sorry to hear yet another problem. Tell your son you could have him put in jail for check fraud and forgery and that it's still an option.. I don't think he would enjoy his stay there. I understand why you would not want to tell DH I'm sure he will go thru the roof then again maybe the kid should go to jail after all he did the crime and is getting away with yet another bad deed done to you. If you tell DH maybe he will call the police and if he did it's because your son committed a crime. If son is doing this to you what else is he doing to other people and some day someone could really hurt him because they wont call the police.
You can be sure if I did that to my mother she would have called the police on me. I can guarantee she would she would not put up with that kind of crap with any of us kids.
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:55 PM   #2504
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I just had a thought give your son two options and stick with either he joins the Navy or goes to prison. It may be you will actually need to bring up charges to get him to join the Navy. I had some friends in high school that got in alot of trouble their choice jail or the Navy. They chose the Navy and came out fine upstanding young men.
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Old 05-30-2008, 05:10 PM   #2505
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Stacy, I'm so sorry your son has broken your trust. It's like a knife in your back when your own child would do this to you.

Only you know how things are with DH, but perhaps you could consider a different tact. At this point, your son is a man. As a boy, you felt you needed to protect your son from DH and didn't keep him totally informed about situations with your son. Maybe your son is counting on that as an adult now and made a decision he knew was wrong but felt you would protect him anyway. Old patterns of relationships are very hard to break. Your son stole from his father, too, by forging his name. Perhaps if you reacted in a different way that he is counting on, he will get a wake-up call. (Of course, this is free advice and worth every penny you paid for it.) Just remember your friends here are behind you through this tough time.
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Old 05-30-2008, 05:39 PM   #2506
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It's not callign the cops that I'm afraid of with dh. It's what will come physically and it wouldn't stop at a shove with DH. I've seen what he does on little things. One thing we have always taught them is that stealing is immoral and distgusting besides being illegal. No, I already told him that if he does not go to the navy, he has 2 weeks to practice for the ASVAB, then, I will tell dh and will press charges on him. He is quite ready to go and now even more ready. My oldest is ready to beat the crap out of him. There are other things that have come to light with this mess and I am so numb and disappointed. He watched as I broke down and when he tried to hug me, I threw him away. That and telling him that he digusted and disappointed me more than he has ever done in his life or anyone for that matter, hit him the hardest. The look on his face was enough to keep me going at him. He has been on the computer all day studying the guide we finally got to pull up that the recruiter gave him. he is already almost doubled his scores on the practice tests on the military website. I told him that is what he is going to be doing all weekend if I have to study with him!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:14 PM   #2507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corey123 View Post
I realise that you still might be just a bit lenient with him, otherwise you'd have thrown him out the door, like I would have done!

God bless, and I hope that you are able to seek some restitution from all this.

Nevermind!! I deleted my comment on that one!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:42 PM   #2508
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Didn't mean any harm.

I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.

I deleted my post as well.
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Old 05-30-2008, 07:13 PM   #2509
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Didn't mean any harm.

I'm sure that you still love your son. He just needs to get some help and I truly hope that he does. And that you and him can rebuild your trust with each other.

I deleted my post as well.

No worries. Stressful time and your words just hit me wrong, that's all. It is taking a lot for me to do what I'm doing without backing down, like I normally do. This time though, that is not going to happen.
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Old 05-30-2008, 07:16 PM   #2510
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sorry to hear it, tg, but that sounds like a good plan.

a long time ago, i dropped out of college and was dealing drugs when my dad put me up against a wall and gave me a choice of going into the military, or moving home and getting a job/paying rent/being accountable for every other minute of my time, which he and my mom checked up on constantly.

i wish now i had chosen the military and had saved all of the years that it took me to grow up slowly.



and luvs, nevermind your dad's wisecrack. i'm sure it hurt, but i'm also sure that he didn't mean to hurt you like that. in some backwards way, he may have actually been happy to make a joke about it.
NO ONE HERE wants to see you go back to being sick again. so be strong.
Thanks BT for showing me that my boys have a chance at being a man and a loving person to others as someone that went through similar things.
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