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Old 02-24-2009, 10:54 PM   #4191
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Well, I am super PO'd at my worthless, druggie, stealing, lying bum of a grandson. We raised him from age 3, and we didn't raise him this way.

I have been loving, patient and forgiving, but I am fed up. I have had enough.

As far as Kim and I are concerned, he's on his own. Sometimes there's just things you have to do!

Oh Connie,
I'm sorry, we love the heck out of these kids, take care of them, give til it hurts at times and WHAM they seem to just turn on us. I think we have to step back and be tough and it will be the hardest thing we will ever feel. We pray but we don't give in and we pray some more...Mine are still little, and even now it's hard to say no, but I've learned to do it, you can and will too dear Connie.I'll pray for him and for peace for you
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:14 PM   #4192
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I am sorry to hear that Constance. My prayers are with you and Kim...and with your grandson that he might some day see what you have done for him and get on the right track.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:20 PM   #4193
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Oh, Connie, I'm sorry to hear of your challenges. Tough love is so hard. We went through a very difficult time with our oldest son. Nearly killed Buck and me, but he (finally) turned around. Even became a Marine and served during Desert Storm and has become the most wonderful young man. Totally different person.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:28 PM   #4194
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Today is my 24th anniversary. I woke up and thought about that and cried. Where did it go? What do I have to show for it? Yes, I have 2 kids at least. 24 years of nothing. We co exist is the best I can describe. I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him, but, I wonder if it's going to be this way for the rest of my life? We go to work, come home, eat, go to bed. We don't do anything together, never did. Last movie we saw together was the first Batman. He took me out to eat on my B-day 5 years ago and griped about the food. Ok, I will go any further, not worth boring you. Just had to let it out There is nothing in the works as a gift either. I had to get new tires the other day as one blew and 2 others were showing thread, so, I get home, he says Happy Anniversary.
I know how you feel - If it helps at all I want to tell you that I know exactly how you feel. I have been in a 5 year relationship that sounds alot like yours-- My birthday was 6 months ago and I am still waiting for my present along with my Christmas present. I keep hoping they will really appear but I guess it was not important enough for him to make the effort to get them. After all this time there really is no excuse except that he did not care enough to bother. I keep trying to make excuses for him but I give up. I really do care about him but after awhile I seem to care less and less. Try to be happy and realize that it is his problem not yours and that you deserve better. I know its not the same but maybe you should treat yourself to something special to celebrate you!!!! I hope things get better for you!!!
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Old 02-25-2009, 08:20 PM   #4195
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Stacy,
There was something special 24 years ago, it's still there, it's just that the years have pushed back and you need to look for it, shine it up and remember what it was that made your heart beat so fast. You know how he is and you've chosen to accept it..There must be a reason STacy a small glimmer of that young man from long ago who made your heart skip a beat. I know he is set in his ways and can be a pita right? We all have one of those, but there are time when my attitude causes it. So, now that first flush is gone, but a deep abiding love is there..Look at him when he doesn't know that you are,do you see what is left of your heart throb, try to do something each day that you know he likes..But first off, don't expect a big deal from it. Do it to boost Stacy..I know what a wonderful, loving,giving woman you are and as I told you you are like someone very special in my life and you know what I told you. Stacy, we all love the cards, flower, dinners out but we also know that if they are dissapointed in the road life has taken them, they become old grumps instead of young heros...learn to accept a good meal or the house looks nice of any small thing he says or does..I'll be here praying he opens his eyes and realizes what a gift he has...Know that your loved and that you are ever so special and will always be.
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Actually, it was a 14 year old girl thinking she was "all that" cause she had an older guy with a job and car. Got pregnant, married, and that is where it all went down hill. I don't want to see that person ever again. He's better than the drinking, druggy that abused me for 15 years. My fault for being to wimpy to leave. I'm fine. I'm happy and I have a roof over my head. He can just be a jerk sometimes.
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Old 02-25-2009, 08:44 PM   #4196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Constance View Post
Well, I am super PO'd at my worthless, druggie, stealing, lying bum of a grandson. We raised him from age 3, and we didn't raise him this way.

I have been loving, patient and forgiving, but I am fed up. I have had enough.

As far as Kim and I are concerned, he's on his own. Sometimes there's just things you have to do!

I have had some experience with this sort of thing. It sounds like you need to let go, like you said. People locked in that sort of life can't be changed until they bottom out. Once that happens, then it may be time to put him into treatment. I am sorry you have to go through this. It is not easy.
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Old 02-25-2009, 09:00 PM   #4197
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Actually, it was a 14 year old girl thinking she was "all that" cause she had an older guy with a job and car. Got pregnant, married, and that is where it all went down hill. I don't want to see that person ever again. He's better than the drinking, druggy that abused me for 15 years. My fault for being to wimpy to leave. I'm fine. I'm happy and I have a roof over my head. He can just be a jerk sometimes.
Of course he can..but I hate to see you just settle..I understand how that can happen, but still it bothers me...You deserve far more than a roof..Do what you need and want to do..I'm here if you need me for any reason.
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Old 02-25-2009, 09:12 PM   #4198
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Too chicken to do what I want to do. lol
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Old 02-25-2009, 11:41 PM   #4199
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It's not easy to leave even when your not happy - I think if we leave we have to face the fact that we were wrong and believed in someone when we should have given up a long time ago - keep thinking things will change and get better - when we leave we also leave our hopes and dreams that we thought were really worth waiting for - but now we realize no matter how long we wait it will never be long enough because if after so many years it hasn't changed it probably never will.
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Old 02-26-2009, 03:58 AM   #4200
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It's not easy to leave even when your not happy - I think if we leave we have to face the fact that we were wrong and believed in someone when we should have given up a long time ago - keep thinking things will change and get better - when we leave we also leave our hopes and dreams that we thought were really worth waiting for - but now we realize no matter how long we wait it will never be long enough because if after so many years it hasn't changed it probably never will.
Of course it's not easy, nothing in life is really easy..placing your trust in someone you love is never wrong, it's just not treated with respect from your partner..Leaving can do wonders for your ego and there is nothing wrong in loving yourself. When we love ourselves we can give love and accept it with no worry. Sit down and give things a long hard look see..You change your wants and needs as we learn to deal with ourselves and what we want and need and we learn others wants and needs.If you have a dream, starting over and working towards it can breath life into your soul.Always remember that beautiful face that looks back at you each morning is special, and deserves to achieve that dream.Life is what we make it, not what someone else provides, you matter and yes you can learn to start over and give that love you have inside, after you love YOU.
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