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Old 11-16-2012, 05:48 AM   #3321
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Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60 View Post
I finally handled this type of situation in my family by deciding it was not MY problem, it was theirs. If they wanted to be angry, there was nothing I could do about it. I am not responsible for their happiness, only mine and Shrek's. You know, I feel so much better about most things, because I don't let their attitudes effect me.
Gosh, Fiona, you've taken up my mantra lately. I call it NMP. Not My Problem. I have broad shoulders (literally and figuratively), and I'm always getting "secrets" that I really don't want. Small town at that, everyone knows everyone. People tell me because they know I don't gossip, and when I hear a rumor I know to be fractured, I correct. But my friends range in age a great deal. But when this first started happening I let it weigh me down, so now when someone tells me of their (or their spouse's or their kids' or neighbors') infidelities, social diseases, minor crimes (i.e., where they only hurt themselves), I remind myself, "NMP" and try to erase it as soon as I can.

Occasionally, I get something that has to go somewhere, and I do what I can to fix it (in my latest problem it was a notary public who was spreading completely untrue rumours about my elderly, mostly shut in friends, and I had to let the care-givers know not to use that person again). I suspect this one will come back to bite me in the as*, but I couldn't let that one just go. The friend who passed the info on did what they could to fix it at that end, and I just told the caregiver the next time she need a notary, just call the family lawyer.

But mostly these days I just do my best to dismiss what is going on. Which actually encourages people to tell me more. Vicious circle. And I really don't want to know!
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:52 PM   #3322
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I too hate gossip Claire. That's why I stay in my apartment most of the time. A group of us of the same mind have tea night on Tuesday. We talk about everything except the folks who live in the building. I once told a resident (the biggest gossip in the building) that gossip is wrong. She immediately informed me that if it is true, then it is not gossip. Gossip is gossip. True or not. It is still gossip.

Because I have my hours all screwed up and am up all night, I sleep during the day. I get two callers all the time that are eating up my minutes on my cell phone. Son #2 and the medical facility where I have all my appointments. My son calls me for stupid things. Sometimes to just talk. That call I don't mind. But he needs to keep it to once a week. He is constantly waking me up. And there is no reason he can't call at night when he knows I am awake.

The second caller, is the medical facility. The calls start a week before my appointment. And there are three calls for every appointment. They are just reminders that you have an appointment. Each call takes 3.5 minutes to get through after you punch in all the numbers. And if you don't answer, it goes to voicemail and the same thing. Then if you fail to respond to that, the dang machine just keeps calling you up to the day of your appointment. Spike has the right idea. If the number is not in your list of contacts, ignore it. Don't even bother to check the voicemail. Just erase it. I will never again respond to their phone number. Every department uses the same call back number. It is tied into their computer appointment system. They will never hear me punch in a number again. And I will never check my voicemail for them again either.

Grant you my phone is free along with 250 minutes a month. And I buy 250 additional minutes a month for $5.00. But the medical facility is eating up all my minutes. I only call Winthrop, if really important, my daughter and Spike. My call to Spike last for only 30 seconds at the most. That is the longest call I make. And only if I am not at home. Otherwise, I use my computer to make calls and they are all free. No minute restrictions at all. It is tied in with Skype.
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Old 11-16-2012, 08:42 PM   #3323
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Ads, I am with you there!

Gossip is an awful thing, I dont do it, I dont like it and I keep away from anyone who is into idle gossip

It can only cause trouble from what I have seen in my lifetime!
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Old 11-24-2012, 06:04 AM   #3324
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I was cooking a ham but was starting to feel really tired and was worried I'd accidentally fall asleep. I decided to take a nap in the living room so I could hear the timer go off. My husband, who was feeling wide awake, said he'd wake me if anything seemed off or if I slept through the timer. Me sleeping in the living room would keep my husband from getting too engrossed in working on the computer to watch for reasons to wake me. My dad had just finished making a jello dessert and was quietly doing things on his laptop. Napping seemed like the best option.

So here is what happens if you try to nap in the living room while Chief Longwind is around.

First, you state your intention of taking a nap and he doesn't hear it because he's focused on watching "Tullovision" (Jethro Tull online concert station). You just start falling asleep and he starts talking loudly, telling you about how great Jethro Tull is. OK, he was distracted and didn't hear you say you were going to take a nap.

"Dad, I'm trying to take a nap." Very calm and matter-of-fact this time around, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Oh, sorry."

You settle back and just start falling asleep and he starts loudly talking about how amazing Jethro Tull's guitarist is to watch.

"Dad. I'm trying to take a nap." This time you're mildly annoyed so say his name with emphasis to make sure you have his attention.

"Oh, well I didn't know that."

"I just told you about ten minutes ago!"

"Oh, I didn't hear you. I'll be quiet."

You take a deep breath, thinking about how if he didn't hear you then maybe he shouldn't have answered the first time so you'd have known to repeat yourself. You glance at the DH who grins and shrugs, then close your eyes and try to imagine a nice, peaceful place.

You just start to fall asleep and bang, crash, clang in the kitchen. DH is still on the couch with you.

"Dad! What are you doing? I'm trying to take a nap!" This time you're distinctly annoyed.

"I was just trying to do some cleanup in the kitchen." His voice sounds slightly wounded, like the little kid that just wants to help but knows he's making the task more difficult.

"How, by strapping metal bowls and pans to the feet of baby elephants and running them through the kitchen?" You think this but don't want to hurt his feelings or seem ungrateful for his effort so you don't say it. "It's late Dad. Thank you for trying to help but you should get some sleep."

"Yeah, I'll stop for tonight. I should get some sleep." He lays down on the chase in the living room and in seconds is out.

You breath a sigh of relief and begin working on falling asleep again. You begin to drift off. Beep beep beep beep.

Grrrr. "Daaad, why is your watch alarm beeping?"

"It's so I wake up to go fishing."

...

You can't even respond to that, in part because he's already asleep again, so you just take a couple of deep breaths, ignore the DH's quiet snickering, and try to fall asleep.

You're drifting, almost at the point of losing awareness of your surroundings. Beep beep beep beep.

"Dad. Your watch again." He shuts it off without even waking up. You don't bother saying anything else. You don't even bother with the deep breaths this time. He's asleep and his alarm shouldn't go off again.

You consider just giving up but your eye-lids are so very heavy. You finally reach sleep. You're just beyond awareness of your surroundings. Ding, ding, ding.

That would be the timer. The other sound is the audible laughter DH can no longer hold in.

You look over at Dad, sleeping so peacfully. "The fact that you make amazing eggrolls is why you won't be murdered in your sleep." You don't bother saying it, he won't hear you and DH will only laugh harder. Besides, you have a ham to take out of the oven so that half an hour from now you can finally go to bed.
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Old 11-24-2012, 01:54 PM   #3325
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By the way, his eggrolls aren't the only reason we keep him around. He also makes darned good smoked turkeys and roasts. His beef jerky and sweet and sour chicken balls are pretty good too.
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Old 11-24-2012, 04:41 PM   #3326
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<soft laughter so as not to wake up CLOTN> Thanks for the story, sounds like many times at my parents. Heck, sounds like me trying to get sleep now.
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Old 11-24-2012, 04:57 PM   #3327
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It was pretty funny. As much as I wanted that nap, I couldn't help but see the humor in it.
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Old 11-24-2012, 05:06 PM   #3328
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It was pretty funny. As much as I wanted that nap, I couldn't help but see the humor in it.
Shrek has a junk box, odd flotsam and jetsam of junk that he can;t get rid of, but have no sensible use. He always needs to dig through it when I'm trying to nap...
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Old 11-24-2012, 05:40 PM   #3329
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It was pretty funny. As much as I wanted that nap, I couldn't help but see the humor in it.
When we are at my Dad's house, he gets up really early and throws dishes in the kitchen! When we finally just go ahead and get up he says, "I didn't think you would be up yet." :)
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Old 11-24-2012, 05:48 PM   #3330
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Apparently, when I get ready to take a nap, an alert is sent to every telemarketer and relative so thy will know to call me.
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