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Old 10-20-2014, 05:53 AM   #6361
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OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

Better To Be Safe Than. .. Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The... Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of.. Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?

Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.

No News Is... Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.

You Cant Teach An Old Dog New... Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.

Love All, Trust... Me!

The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There is... Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh & The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry & You Have To Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie.
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Old 10-20-2014, 08:45 AM   #6362
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawgluver View Post
Don't make me get my broom!
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:47 AM   #6363
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A guy walks into a bar and heads to a seat at the bar. He inquires of the bartender if he could tell a blonde joke. The bartender points out that, he/she is blonde, the biker girl to the right of the customer is blonde, the female to the left of the customer is blonde, as are the two women behind him. After pointing this out, the bartender asks if the customer still wants to tell his blonde joke.

To that question, the customer replies, "Well, heck no! If I have to explain it 5 times!"
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:53 AM   #6364
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LOL!!
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Old 10-20-2014, 11:23 AM   #6365
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my baseball team's best joke:

what do you have if you hold 7 baseballs in one hand, and 8 baseballs in the other?

really big hands.
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Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:12 PM   #6366
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Thumbs up

buckytom - good to see that, although you are ill, you haven't lost your sense of humour!

A child's opinion after watching football (soccer to you lot!)....

"why don't they give them a ball each - then they won't have to fight for it?"
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:20 PM   #6367
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lol, and thanks, creative.

i'm a bit loopy on cough medicine.

being sick is like the elevator business.

my honey-do list has been postponed for today. but now it's longer for tomorrow.
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Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
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Old 10-21-2014, 06:41 AM   #6368
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:50 AM   #6369
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:33 AM   #6370
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It's almost too real to post in this thread
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