CrazyCatLady
Sous Chef
My world fell apart on me this morning. While cooking breakfast, I couldn't do anything right. I kept dropping things, I didn't flip hubby's omelet right (he ate it anyway, it was good), I did something evil to my shoulder while doing my exercises, and I fell off my bike again.
I came in, and I lost it. I sat down on the couch and began to cry, and I couldn't stop. Hubby and Rina (Cat's Mom) came running, and I suppose they thought I was physically hurt or something. Hubby started to come to me, but Rina pulled him back. She said, "No. She needs to do this."
I bawled, I yelled, I cursed, I punched the couch, and you'd have thought there was a hyena fight in the living room. Almost six weeks of anger, frustration, pain, misery, and loss came flooding out. This went on for over an hour, and when I finally got everything out, I calmed down and looked around.
Everything around me seemed brighter, fresher, sweeter, and dearer. I felt weird, as if I were light as a feather. I hugged Rina and hubby, the dog, and as many cats as I could snatch. Then I realized what I was feeling.
JOY. I felt JOY for the first time in weeks! I forgot how it feels to be joyful! Everything seemed to be such a struggle, a grind, hopeless, painful, frustrating ... a dead-end road to nowhere.
Then after all this, I got a call from my supervisor at work. K has been a regular visitor and caller, and she asked if I felt up to doing a go-to list for the self-checkouts. I can do this! I even remembered how to dismantle the top scales and everything so as to clean them! I have to log into our private associates' Walmart website and put my time in, and I'll be paid!!
Then as if that's not enough, I checked my email and wow, I found such joy there too!
I apologized to Rina and hubby for my breakdown.
Hubby said, "You didn't break down, baby. You broke THROUGH."
I came in, and I lost it. I sat down on the couch and began to cry, and I couldn't stop. Hubby and Rina (Cat's Mom) came running, and I suppose they thought I was physically hurt or something. Hubby started to come to me, but Rina pulled him back. She said, "No. She needs to do this."
I bawled, I yelled, I cursed, I punched the couch, and you'd have thought there was a hyena fight in the living room. Almost six weeks of anger, frustration, pain, misery, and loss came flooding out. This went on for over an hour, and when I finally got everything out, I calmed down and looked around.
Everything around me seemed brighter, fresher, sweeter, and dearer. I felt weird, as if I were light as a feather. I hugged Rina and hubby, the dog, and as many cats as I could snatch. Then I realized what I was feeling.
JOY. I felt JOY for the first time in weeks! I forgot how it feels to be joyful! Everything seemed to be such a struggle, a grind, hopeless, painful, frustrating ... a dead-end road to nowhere.
Then after all this, I got a call from my supervisor at work. K has been a regular visitor and caller, and she asked if I felt up to doing a go-to list for the self-checkouts. I can do this! I even remembered how to dismantle the top scales and everything so as to clean them! I have to log into our private associates' Walmart website and put my time in, and I'll be paid!!
Then as if that's not enough, I checked my email and wow, I found such joy there too!
I apologized to Rina and hubby for my breakdown.
Hubby said, "You didn't break down, baby. You broke THROUGH."