Today's Funny
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Chief Longwind Of The North
Certified/Certifiable
I've know women like that. I've had to deal with kids who had that kind of a mother. You know the type; "My little Johnny wouldn't do that. I don't care if you say you saw it happen. You just get back to your own house and leave us alone. C'mon Johhny. You just stay away from that family."
You just want to take the parent, Mom or Dad, and turn them over your knee and give them the spanking little Johnny deserves. Oh, wait, we don't spank children any more. So we put bad mommy, or bad daddy in a corner, facing the wall, for a good, 3 hour time out.
Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
Fortunately I was not one of those parents. My kids knew, if someone came to my door telling me they did something, they already were filled with fear.
When my youngest was five years old. he threw a good size rock and broke a windshield. I offeredd to pay for it, but I wanted three estimates. The guy started to get really nasty. Now in Mass, a child under 6 y.o. is a non-person and cannot be held responsible for any acts. I never questioned that my son did the dastardly deed. But according to the car owner I taught him to be a hooligan. I had enough. I walked away and told him to take me to court. He did. The court sided with me due to my son's age. I told the judge what happened. The jerk again adopted the same attitude. He left empty handed.
I never denied what my kids did as long as there was reasonable proof. And they got punished accordingly.
When my youngest was five years old. he threw a good size rock and broke a windshield. I offeredd to pay for it, but I wanted three estimates. The guy started to get really nasty. Now in Mass, a child under 6 y.o. is a non-person and cannot be held responsible for any acts. I never questioned that my son did the dastardly deed. But according to the car owner I taught him to be a hooligan. I had enough. I walked away and told him to take me to court. He did. The court sided with me due to my son's age. I told the judge what happened. The jerk again adopted the same attitude. He left empty handed.
I never denied what my kids did as long as there was reasonable proof. And they got punished accordingly.
Chief Longwind Of The North
Certified/Certifiable
Fortunately I was not one of those parents. My kids knew, if someone came to my door telling me they did something, they already were filled with fear.
When my youngest was five years old. he threw a good size rock and broke a windshield. I offeredd to pay for it, but I wanted three estimates. The guy started to get really nasty. Now in Mass, a child under 6 y.o. is a non-person and cannot be held responsible for any acts. I never questioned that my son did the dastardly deed. But according to the car owner I taught him to be a hooligan. I had enough. I walked away and told him to take me to court. He did. The court sided with me due to my son's age. I told the judge what happened. The jerk again adopted the same attitude. He left empty handed.
I never denied what my kids did as long as there was reasonable proof. And they got punished accordingly.
I know jsut what you mean. Sometimes adults can act so much worse than children. But we won't go there. This thread is supposed to be about good, uplifting humor, and I won't hijack it.
There was this father and son who loved fishing. They lived in Tennessey and had fished every lake, pond, and stream in the state. One day, the father turned to his son and said; "Son, we've fished every body of water around, and done every kind of fishing that we could, except for one."
"So what kind of fishing haven't we done, Dad?"
"Well, we've never been ice-fishing."
"Ya know, maybe it's because we never have any ice.
""Keep it up, and I might just have to toss you in the lake."
"Ya gotta catch me first, dear old Dad.
""Ok, you win this one. But we've still never been ice fishing."
"So what's up. I don't think the weather's gonna get any colder around here?"
"Well, you've kept you grades up in school, and I talked it over with your Mom, and teacher. They agreed that you could afford to take a week off from school, and we'll take a little trip up North, you know, into Canada, maybe in February."
As could be expected, the boy became excited. He replied; "Really! you're not kidding?"
"Nope, so long as you keep your grades up. Your teacher said that she can send you some schoolwork so that you don't get behind."
"Wow! I'll be ready. You just watch me."
So time went on and February finally came around. One night at the dinner table, without warning, the father said; "Son, pack up a light suitcase, and your fishing gear. We're leaving for Canada in the morning."
Again the boy responded positively, with excitedment in his voice. He said he would be all set by morning.
Morning came, and bloth father and son rose before the sun rose. They kissed Mom goodbye and headed for the garage.
"Let's make sure we have everything we need before we hit the road." said the father. So they checked their list and decided it was time to go.
They made good time and were at the Canadian border before the sun went down. Shortly after they crossed the border, Dad said; "Ya know son, we jsut don't know a lot about this ice fishing thing. Maybe we ought to stop at a bait shop and ask some questions."
"Seems like a good idea to me." remplied the boy.
So they kept driving northward untill they hit the outskirts of a small town they'd passed through. There, they saw a shop that advertised minnows and worms.
"This looks liek a good spot." said the dad.
So they pulled in and stopped to get more information.
The proprietor of the shop explained the sport of ice fishing, and sold them an assortment of minnows, worms, a minnow bucket, and some gear needed to fish through the ice. After they'd paid for everything, and were about to leave, the father turned to the propietor and said; "Oh, and I guess we'll be buying a cou[ple of ice picks too."
So they were sold a few ice picks. Following directions to a good lake, not too far away from the little shop they'd just left, they set about the task of preparing to fish. After about an hour, the dad packed up his son and headed back to the shop. He went in and bought two more ice picks. Again, they headed for the frozen lake.
Two hours later, the father and son got in the car and headed back to the bait shop. Both went in, and the father, with an exasperatied tone, said; Give me every ice pick you got."
The proprietor thought the request was a bit odd. He asked; "So how you boys doing out there? Catching any fish?"
The father exclaimed; "Well ya know, I'm not sure that this ice fishing thing is for us. We've been out on that ice for near onto three hours now, and we haven't even picked a hole big enough to put the boat in the water yet."
You might have to live in the North to really appreciate this joke. But believe me when I say, I'm just poking a little fun. I'd love to go south and hit some of those fly fishing streams one day. But I'd probably be a little tentative walking around the streams and ponds, down there. I mean, you've got gators, water moccasons, copperheads, and boars the size of bears. It's safer up here, no poisonous snakes, insects, spiders, etc. We do have sufficeint biting bugs to pick you up and carry you away though.
Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
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Barbara L
Traveling Welcome Wagon
I haven't been able to come on DC as much the last few days, but I just looked at all the new funnies and they are great!
tinlizzie
Head Chef
I haven't been able to come on DC as much the last few days, but I just looked at all the new funnies and they are great!
Me, too! I'm entertaining a house guest with all these cute and funny entries.
OP
OP
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
This is a food forum, after all:
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Man,oh, man, oh man..... We must have an over-infestation of these little critters.
And, I've noticed they're especially rampant at Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!!
CWS4322
Chef Extraordinaire
Like horses, they have an 11-month gestation period, typical season during which most are born is between the middle of November and the end of the December (why they can't have the same gestation period as elephants, I have not idea--Mother Nature's cruel joke!)--and, the critters seem to be particularly attracted to the clothes of people over 50.
Addie
Chef Extraordinaire
I wish there was an icon for shaking ones head in disbelief. Because that is what I am doing right now. I just love this thread. It is right up there with Chicken Chronicals.
