Stupid Travel Complaints

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Andy M.

Certified Pretend Chef
Sep 1, 2004
Stupid travel complaints....
Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents revealed:
20 of the most ridiculous complaints by holiday-makers made to their travel agent.

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

5. A tourist at a top African Game Lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate.”

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in her hotel room by staff. In fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. “The beach was too sandy.”

8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure.Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

11. “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

12. “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

13. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

14. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

15. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers — will we be OK staying there?”

16. “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”

17. “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”

18. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

19. “I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite.”

20. “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
LOL. Reminded me of the tour passenger I wanted to toss off the bus...complained about everything. "I can't sleep in a green room." This at a hotel that was overbooked (we were lucky we didn't have to "walk"). Luckily, either my room or the driver's was blue (but then she complained that there wasn't a view...).
Those kinds of things remind me of those moments when Shrek and I held hands and heaved big sighs, being thankful we were eating sub-par clam chowder in OREGON!!!!!!! We were in OREGON!!!!!:w00t2::w00t2:
I have known people ... some I'm related to ... for whom the entire purpose of travel is to prove that they should never leave home. They complain from the moment they start packing until they've told their stories of misery for years after their return. I love it when they complain that people in foreign countries speak foreign languages. Hello? Get over yourself. And guess what ... Foreign food in Foreign countries. If you want McDonalds and Pizza Hut, what in the h--- are you doing in whatever country you're in. Stay the heck at home. I had a visitor here complain because the food wasn't southern. Guess what, fanny orifice, YOU ARE NOT IN THE SOUTH. The civil war ended, oh, 150 years ago, give or take a decade. Get over it. It's very discouraging, and I wish people who cannot stand a few days or weeks outside of their own little neighborhood, would just stay there and not ruin anyone elses time. I can't afford to just run off to Paris whenever the spirit moves me, and I resent people who can afford to do that telling me how awful French people are. That is just an example.
Heheh, you said fanny orifice. Have never heard that, Claire, in all my years working with adolescents!

I get a kick out of seeing folks coming off the cruise ships in Cozumel and heading for McDonalds and Pizza Hut. They think they'll get sick from Mexican food.
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When I went to Europe several years ago, I was surprised that some in our group looked for Burger King, McDonalds and KFC no matter what country we were in. I didn't like everything that I ate in foreign food but considered it a pleasure to be able to go and try different things. One thing I discovered that I'd never noticed here was a drink called Bitter Lemon. I loved it there and I love it here.
only in america! so funny, so pathetic. no wonder american tourists are often depicted as buffoons....

Actually, this part of the OP: "Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents..."
suggests the travelers were British, not American.
Heheh, you said fanny orifice. Have never heard that, Claire, in all my years working with adolescents!

I get a kick out of seeing folks coming off the cruise ships in Cozumel and heading for McDonalds and Pizza Hut. They think they'll get sick from Mexican food.

Dawg, I have written columns (for free, alas) for newspapers for a couple of decades and try to find imaginative ways to say things that might come out of my mouth as swearing. I kind of liked this one myself, maybe I'll find a way to work it into a column!

Once I was visiting a San Diegan friend and we took a day trip to Tijuana. We were sipping water, waiting for our drinks and meals, and a couple next to us asked if the lemon slice sanitized the water. My friend told them that Tijuana and San Diego use the same water purification and it's safe to drink. Interesting to know because I might have avoided the water otherwise (and no, none of us got sick).
My thought is that Americans act this way because we can travel for days and not leave our country. Only those who live on the borders of Canada and Mexico think about taking a day trip to another country! My uncle was stationed in Germany when he was in the Air Force. After his discharge, some German friends came to visit him in Ohio (he lived in the western part of the state) and planned to travel to Tennessee to visit some other friends. They figured since they were not leaving the country, they could get there, visit and get back to my uncle's by dinner! They were used to dropping into Poland, France, Austria etc for lunch!
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