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Old 06-21-2014, 03:25 AM   #5941
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This has been making the rounds amongst my Facebook friends. I especially like it since my nationality heritage is Polish. Enjoy!

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Old 06-21-2014, 07:39 AM   #5942
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Originally Posted by Cooking Goddess View Post
This has been making the rounds amongst my Facebook friends. I especially like it since my nationality heritage is Polish. Enjoy!

I saw a different picture with the same words on FB (and shared it). It's such a great thing to remember when you are about to be dragged into other people's nonsense.
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Old 06-21-2014, 11:10 AM   #5943
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Originally Posted by Addie View Post
I love them. In&out!
I love them too unless

-you KNOW that you cannot use anything computer related and still go through one!
-have a huge cart of groceries that won't fit on the scale-thingy in the bagging area
-feel that you need to look for the barcode, here is a hint, just spin it around in your hand, the laser will likely find it before you do!

I feel that there should be a one question quiz before you are allowed to use it, the question would be "What color is the sky" both answers would be "Blue", if it takes you more than 10 seconds to figure out the answer to the question, then the register locks up and directs you to a cashier. It amazes me how people cannot follow voice prompts even when the register repeats them over and over "Please place your item in the bagging area".

I still use them every chance I get.
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Old 06-21-2014, 12:39 PM   #5944
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Originally Posted by bakechef View Post
I love them too unless

-you KNOW that you cannot use anything computer related and still go through one!
-have a huge cart of groceries that won't fit on the scale-thingy in the bagging area
-feel that you need to look for the barcode, here is a hint, just spin it around in your hand, the laser will likely find it before you do!

I feel that there should be a one question quiz before you are allowed to use it, the question would be "What color is the sky" both answers would be "Blue", if it takes you more than 10 seconds to figure out the answer to the question, then the register locks up and directs you to a cashier. It amazes me how people cannot follow voice prompts even when the register repeats them over and over "Please place your item in the bagging area".

I still use them every chance I get.
Sometimes the stupidity of people stuns me. Past amazing.
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Old 06-23-2014, 12:40 PM   #5945
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Discretion

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell the wife?"

They draw straws.

Goldberg picks the short one.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.


"Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants.

Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500 in our poker game and is afraid to come home."

The wife says, "Tell him to drop dead!"

"I'll go tell him," says Goldberg.
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Old 06-23-2014, 12:45 PM   #5946
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Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
That reminded me of this old joke:

"Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by.

So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, ''Why did you do that?''

The man replies, ''Well we were maried for almost 40 years. It's the least I could do.''

Funny Jokes | Golf and Funerals Joke | Comedy Central
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:38 AM   #5947
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DANGER DANGER
Two drunken men were driving home from the local pub.

Suddenly the first man started screaming. "Jim, watch out for that wall, watch out for the waaaaaaaall!"

Baaaaaaaam!

They hit the wall.

The very next day, in the hospital, the first man angrily said to his friend. "You good for nothing drunk, I screamed and screamed for you to watch out for the wall, why didnít you?"

Jim answered him, "YOU WERE DRIVING!!!"
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Old 06-24-2014, 11:46 PM   #5948
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guys!

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Old 06-25-2014, 04:45 AM   #5949
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Wink

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Reminds me of what a fat comedienne said..."my idea of a workout is sitting up in bed to have a cigarette!"

I have been known to raise an arm occasionally....
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Old 06-26-2014, 06:55 AM   #5950
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