Old Venting Thread
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I'm usually not one to spill my heart out to the first person who'll listen, but tonight I'm taking full advantage of this venting thread.
My boyfriend and I went to a car show in New York. He was trying to get a picture of one of the exhibits at one point but couldn't get a clear shot because so many people kept walking in front of it. He finally gave up and jokingly said to me, "At least I got a good one of those hot models." I flipped. Why? I have no idea. And that's precisely why I'm upset.
Usually I just roll my eyes at things like this. I'm able to acknowledge that there are women more attractive than I am, and that it's totally natural for my boyfriend to be attracted to them. He doesn't make these comments too often and he's never given me reason to think he would be unfaithful.
Today, however, I felt personally attacked. It felt like he was saying "Well they'll never notice me, but you're a decent consolation prize." Anyway, long story short, we left the show early and talked it out. I explained that I don't expect him to shut off his attraction to good looking women, but that it might not be the best thing to share with me. I told him that although I'm still physically attracted to other men, I don't feel the need to point it out and make him feel inadequate. He understood, told me he only meant it as a joke, and reassured me that I was more than just some shabby second-best.
That's all resolved, but I'm still frustrated with myself. I wish I knew why I reacted the way I did, or why I'm so hard on myself, or whether I'll ever be good enough for my own standards. Aaarrrgh!!!
(Sorry if I sound like a lunatic. I sure do feel like one though.
)
My boyfriend and I went to a car show in New York. He was trying to get a picture of one of the exhibits at one point but couldn't get a clear shot because so many people kept walking in front of it. He finally gave up and jokingly said to me, "At least I got a good one of those hot models." I flipped. Why? I have no idea. And that's precisely why I'm upset.
Usually I just roll my eyes at things like this. I'm able to acknowledge that there are women more attractive than I am, and that it's totally natural for my boyfriend to be attracted to them. He doesn't make these comments too often and he's never given me reason to think he would be unfaithful.
Today, however, I felt personally attacked. It felt like he was saying "Well they'll never notice me, but you're a decent consolation prize." Anyway, long story short, we left the show early and talked it out. I explained that I don't expect him to shut off his attraction to good looking women, but that it might not be the best thing to share with me. I told him that although I'm still physically attracted to other men, I don't feel the need to point it out and make him feel inadequate. He understood, told me he only meant it as a joke, and reassured me that I was more than just some shabby second-best.
That's all resolved, but I'm still frustrated with myself. I wish I knew why I reacted the way I did, or why I'm so hard on myself, or whether I'll ever be good enough for my own standards. Aaarrrgh!!!
(Sorry if I sound like a lunatic. I sure do feel like one though.
)
Cherryred,
How long were you supposed to sit still for those remarks? Once would have been enough for me and I'd have quietly said, you hurt my feeling and since I don't say things like that to you, I'd appreciate the same consideration..
You know many times we take things and take them then one day it just is too much. You've had a hard week, you don't feel as good as you should, your hair didn't go the way you wanted, you feel tired and you still have a ton of things you should be doing..Then you hear "THE" remark!! Well, you blow your top...It's over and done..Feel good that you were open and brave enough to speak up.. instead of pouting and sulking,That counts for a lot..Do not be down on your self. We all have to learn to let little things slide, but the ones to us that are BIG, speak up and don't be ashamed..We don't have to yell and shout, but we have to take care of us and do it well before we can take care of others..You will be fine. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself, hey pretty girl, you ROCK!!!
kadesma
How long were you supposed to sit still for those remarks? Once would have been enough for me and I'd have quietly said, you hurt my feeling and since I don't say things like that to you, I'd appreciate the same consideration..
You know many times we take things and take them then one day it just is too much. You've had a hard week, you don't feel as good as you should, your hair didn't go the way you wanted, you feel tired and you still have a ton of things you should be doing..Then you hear "THE" remark!! Well, you blow your top...It's over and done..Feel good that you were open and brave enough to speak up.. instead of pouting and sulking,That counts for a lot..Do not be down on your self. We all have to learn to let little things slide, but the ones to us that are BIG, speak up and don't be ashamed..We don't have to yell and shout, but we have to take care of us and do it well before we can take care of others..You will be fine. Go look in the mirror and tell yourself, hey pretty girl, you ROCK!!!
kadesma
Well, CR, if you are puzzled why you reacted the way you did, perhaps you can think about how you were feeling about yourself at that time. Also, you mentioned sounding like a "lunatic" in your post. No, you didn't. But it made me think of the word and that is comes from "moon," which made me think of the tides, which, in turn, of cycles. You get where I'm going with this line of thought? Sometimes we are more sensitive to things when we are having our period. Was that the case? Just trying to sleuth out some possible causes for why you "popped."
The good thing, though, is that you two worked it out. I notice your age, so if you can learn this relationship skill early, you are well on your way to sustaining a good, healthy long-lasting relationship. Good for you.
The good thing, though, is that you two worked it out. I notice your age, so if you can learn this relationship skill early, you are well on your way to sustaining a good, healthy long-lasting relationship. Good for you.
Michelemarie
Executive Chef
Ditto what Kadesma said (she is always right!). Today is a new day Cherry, forget yesterday and enjoy today! Smile sweetie!
crewsk
Master Chef
Can I scream yet? Hubby had Savannah in the ER Sunday night. She couldn't turn her right hand over & was complaining of her forearm hurting, but she wasn't in severe pain. Turns out that her humorous (sp) is fractured. She has a cast from her armpit to her wrist & has to wear it at least 2 weeks. It'll be reex-rayed at that time. We have no clue how she did it, that's what's so frustrating. On top of that, TC has to have part of his right big toenail removed tomorrow due to it becoming ingrown & infected. I'm exhausted beyond belief right now! Thankfully hubby has been helping out a lot, I couldn't ask for a better man. Anyway, I'm wearing out fast between working & taking care of a family that seems to be getiing hurt or sick every time I turn around.
csalt
Sous Chef
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- Jul 23, 2006
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- 909
This is for you to help you feel better.
crewsk
Master Chef
Thanks csalt!! I can tell you right now, the first thing I'm doing as soon as hubby finds a job is going to get a really long massage!!
I can tell you right now, the first thing I'm doing as soon as hubby finds a job is going to get a really long massage!!JoAnn L.
Master Chef
Gosh, you and your family sure have been through a lot lately. I sure hope and pray that things will get better real soon. JoAnn
csalt
Sous Chef
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- Jul 23, 2006
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- 909
crewsk said:Thanks csalt!!
May it be very soon
.
crewsk
Master Chef
Thanks JoAnn!! I can rejoice a little today though, TC didn't have to have anything done to his toenail today, but I have to take him back next month to see how it looks then. Savannah went back to the doc today & they had to cut part of her cast off because it had cut into her underarm.
Savannah went back to the doc today & they had to cut part of her cast off because it had cut into her underarm.michen_122
Assistant Cook
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2007
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- 16
hehe, a venting thread... I love this website! So next weekend my husband's mother will be in town and as som ebackground, I really like to try out cosmetic products like look-younger sort of things (as a side-note, I am really liking Relastin right now ) but despite that fact, I am really a "less is more" kind of person and its really more of a hobby than an appearance obsession or anything like that. So Edna, my husbands mother thinks that she is a less is more woman, but for mercy sake, she is a dead ringer for Endora from bewitched some days! Anyway, that wouldn't really bother me, except shes an "advice" type and she knows I'm into these look-younger products and so she jumps all over the topic and IT IS KILLING ME 
*sigh* Thats kinda therapeutic... I may be back for another post
next weekend
) but despite that fact, I am really a "less is more" kind of person and its really more of a hobby than an appearance obsession or anything like that. So Edna, my husbands mother thinks that she is a less is more woman, but for mercy sake, she is a dead ringer for Endora from bewitched some days! Anyway, that wouldn't really bother me, except shes an "advice" type and she knows I'm into these look-younger products and so she jumps all over the topic and IT IS KILLING ME *sigh* Thats kinda therapeutic... I may be back for another post
next weekend
Half Baked
Executive Chef
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2006
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- 2,927
rofl - don't wait til next weekend....!
Crewsk. You have been run through the mill lately. It's time for your karma to kick in...bless you heart.
Crewsk. You have been run through the mill lately. It's time for your karma to kick in...bless you heart.
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kitchenelf
Chef Extraordinaire
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CREWSK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I can't believe it!!!!!!!! Hey, need an agent for writing a book?
Know my thoughts are with you - as always!
I can't believe it!!!!!!!! Hey, need an agent for writing a book?
Know my thoughts are with you - as always!
StirBlue
Head Chef
I don't know if anyone has noticed but women are becoming aggressive drivers behind the wheel. It used to be all men at 9:00 a.m. at the Courthouse for traffic court and now it is about half & half.
There was a lady in a great big pickup with duals waiting to pull onto the street from a shopping center which I was waiting to enter. I was in the turn lane and when the traffic cleared, her tires started rolling. Yeah, right, over my insurance policy! (two cars rolling at 5 mph or less is not going to cause a dead body...LOL)
When I entered the grocery store, a women with one of those big child carts was roaring behind me. I stopped between two bakery shelves on a short isle to let her pass. Another woman came swinging her cart toward me running to the bakery counter to see if they had one last meringue pie. (did I look like I wanted it just because they were on sale?)
I tell you if I had not been between those two shelves, I would have been pancaked by those two carts. Pancaked I tell you! I could already hear the store calling for clean up on the bread isle!
Maybe it was just a sales strategy to get me to buy some pita bread! So I put a package in my cart but when nobody was looking, I put it on a shelf behind some charcoal next to the mops where no one will ever think to look for it. (Anyway, the sample lady gave me an expired coupon for the wrong brand)
All this makes me think about shopping online and having it delivered.
There was a lady in a great big pickup with duals waiting to pull onto the street from a shopping center which I was waiting to enter. I was in the turn lane and when the traffic cleared, her tires started rolling. Yeah, right, over my insurance policy! (two cars rolling at 5 mph or less is not going to cause a dead body...LOL)
When I entered the grocery store, a women with one of those big child carts was roaring behind me. I stopped between two bakery shelves on a short isle to let her pass. Another woman came swinging her cart toward me running to the bakery counter to see if they had one last meringue pie. (did I look like I wanted it just because they were on sale?)
I tell you if I had not been between those two shelves, I would have been pancaked by those two carts. Pancaked I tell you! I could already hear the store calling for clean up on the bread isle!
Maybe it was just a sales strategy to get me to buy some pita bread! So I put a package in my cart but when nobody was looking, I put it on a shelf behind some charcoal next to the mops where no one will ever think to look for it. (Anyway, the sample lady gave me an expired coupon for the wrong brand)
All this makes me think about shopping online and having it delivered.
bethzaring
Master Chef
crewsk said:
crewsk, I hope things even out for you soon!
I have read that there is a recent dramatic increase in bone fxs in children and Vit D deficiency is being blamed. Is Savannah a milk drinker?
Snoop Puss
Head Chef
Crewsk, hope everything works out. You could of course get your husband to give you the massage in the meantime.
csalt
Sous Chef
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2006
- Messages
- 909
StirBlue
If we ever visit the USA should I remember to take out extra insurance for shopping trips?
If we ever visit the USA should I remember to take out extra insurance for shopping trips?
csalt
Sous Chef
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2006
- Messages
- 909
Car hoovering and washing
If left to DH the car only ever gets cleaned when it goes in for a service and they valet it before returning it.
As I have been doing all the driving since DH had his op ( and is not able to drive again yet) I hoovered it all inside then washed it today.
DH comes out at the end , looks all round and says " Oh, you have been busy havn't you, the car looks so clean!"
I could have thrown the sponge at him!
Good job he didn't say" you've missed a bit here!" then he really might have got the sponge!!
Normally I don't mind what I do but the novelty of doing every single chore is wearing off fast.
If left to DH the car only ever gets cleaned when it goes in for a service and they valet it before returning it.
As I have been doing all the driving since DH had his op ( and is not able to drive again yet) I hoovered it all inside then washed it today.
DH comes out at the end , looks all round and says " Oh, you have been busy havn't you, the car looks so clean!"
I could have thrown the sponge at him!
Good job he didn't say" you've missed a bit here!" then he really might have got the sponge!!
Normally I don't mind what I do but the novelty of doing every single chore is wearing off fast.
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