I know that some of my peeps here know about the crap I have been going through these past 2 years, and after 2 years of maybe three hours sleep a night, and catching a nap after work, I have found that just getting in a bit of exercise in has helped. I can't do any lower body until after surgery, but, doing 30-40 min is the pool, or 30 min Upper body, has really helped with calming down at the end of the night. I have found that getting physically tired, help with getting mentally tired. even 30min of meditation at night can help get your brain waves going in the right direction.
I can relate to stopping the wheels turning, and what blows my mind, is the direction in thoughts as you are laying there at night. . .I find myself thinking of things/people/places I haven't been in years. WTF. Just completely nonsensical crap. Especially after moving into the new condo sine the ex and I split, being in a new place, all by my self, every late night noise, my brain was like, "Hey, you know what you haven't thought about since you were a kid?? MONSTERS! Lets think about those for a while!"
I should be going into surgery in April, and my place on the transplant list I am considering dumping, as I feel like I can live with the pulmonary fibrosis, and though I had to go through 9 more chemo treatments, things seem to be getting under control. . .not cancer free, but under control. The avascualr necrosis, caused by the drugs I was given to treat things, is my biggest hurdle, and a double hip replacement at 34years of age is NOT where I ever envisioned myself being,and that is also something that my mind tends to go to when I can't sleep. Was never sick a day in my life, then bam. No more surfing, no more golf, no more hiking, had to cancel 2 vacations because I wasn't cleared to fly, and now I have to use a cane, and can barely walk. . .I know it could be worse, and I am grateful for things I can still do/have, but I am ready to get this crap behind me.