I absolutely appalled people who didn't know me at a party I went to when on a road trip early this month. Seriously. I pretty much gave up gift-giving a few years ago, when I found myself wandering around a mall in Louisiana, looking for presents for nieces and nephews, sisters and BILs, all of whom wanted expensive electronics I couldn't afford (and would not know which and what to buy anyway), or cash (I wonder if we could all sit in a circle, grab a $50 bill and hand it to the next person). That year we were traveling in a trailer and had parked it next to a family who had ... well, nothing. The kids were not in school, even, though the boys were bright. Husband asked if he could buy the boys some toys. Of Course. We also had "grown" (haha) and had some like new clothes that no longer fit. We outfitted the parents and bought the boys some toys. The woman's parents, who had shunned her for some reason, showed up, shamed (all of these people had been upper-middle-class, she had fallen on hard times) and by the time we left the camp site, the boys were in school and their grandparents were treating them as they should have been all along. The grandfather actually talked to us, thanking us for shaming them into being the supportive parents they should have been. It was probably the most gratifying holiday season ever. Since that year, we no longer buy much in the way of gifts. I send a "care" package of fancy foods for my entire family to enjoy rather than buy individual ones, and send it off. My husband and I get a list of what one single-parent, suffering family, needs, and we hit Wally World and buy each on the list a clothing item and a toy (and usually something nice for the Mom). We host a party and ask everyone to bring something for the local food bank. After 30 years together, we really don't much buy for each other, which is what absolutely appalls some friends. But I make jewelry, and he knows what he wants and buys it. So my shopping will start when my favorite publican posts her lists of needy families and hubby and I start shopping for them.