Helping the Bus Boy/Server in a Restaurant

[Foodfiend]

My brother and I have always stacked our dishes to make it easier for our server when he/she came around. They always appreciated it, just like our saying Thank You to our server when he/she brought something or did something (like refilling your tea or water glass), it made them feel like you really appreciated the work/effort to go the extra little mile (even knowing that was part of the service/job). And I always leave a good tip for good service. My parents are the same way. They consider it common courtesy to be nice to your wait staff.

 

[Constance]

Obviously, Emily Post never visited a small diner, or the South, where good manners means that you say "Thank You" for everything. Good service means treating your server as a person. He or she is not "invisible."

Obviously not. I was telling you what SHE said. I usually do say "Thank You".

However, once the order is taken, a good server SHOULD be invisible. I do not go to a restaurant to visit with the employees, and I find an overly talkative server quite annoying, no matter where I am. A friendly, "Hello, and how are you today," is quite sufficient.

That doesn't mean that servers aren't people...it just means that they are there to serve, and not gab.

 

[buckytom]

i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thin mint.

j/k.

it depends on what type of restaurant i'm in, and the "expected" level of service. if there's one waiter who's also bussing his own tables in a family type restaurant, we stack dishes to help out.

if we're in a higher end joint with (what should be) ample service, i will politely sit back a little to allow the dishes to be taken away. no stacking.

 

[ella/TO]

I go along with VeraBlue 100%. When I go out to "dine".....not snack or fast food, I sit back like a lady and let the servers etc. do all the work. That's part of what I'm paying for in a nice restaurant.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thin mint.

Hey BT, I thought I saw you the other night. You were the guy with the bucket on his head, right?

 

[JillBurgh]

I'm afraid I won't solve the issue, but I will chime in. My best friend and I have been in the service industry for over a decade each. It doesn't phase me one way or the other if someone stacks. As long as there is no "buried" cutlery that I have to dig out of mashed potatoes, as mentioned earlier.

My friend, though, hates it BIG time. She thinks it is super offensive. Like saying that she's not getting to it quick enough. It's the server's job (in her opinion) to notice when people are done and take stuff away without them having time to think of stacking.

I will admit: Everywhere I've worked has taught the proper service ettiquette of waiting for the last person at the table to finish eating before we are allowed to clear the table. So that the last diner doesn't feel pressured. So when people start stacking, it DOES interrupt the natural flow of service. Servers should never stack ON the table, so you shouldn't either, I guess. We really do have a system, I promise... well maybe not ALL of us, but if your server was trained well, he/she should follow proper "Steps of Service."

 

[Barbara L]

I will admit: Everywhere I've worked has taught the proper service ettiquette of waiting for the last person at the table to finish eating before we are allowed to clear the table. So that the last diner doesn't feel pressured. So when people start stacking, it DOES interrupt the natural flow of service. Servers should never stack ON the table, so you shouldn't either, I guess. We really do have a system, I promise... well maybe not ALL of us, but if your server was trained well, he/she should follow proper "Steps of Service."

That's interesting! Thanks. I think that, in a way, we have changed as a society though, and rather than feel rushed by having dishes removed, we (and I am just speaking generally, not about everyone) kind of like things to move along. A little off topic, but about being rushed--I have noticed a difference in different areas of the country when it comes to how long a group stays at the table. Here, in South Carolina, many people seem to sit, eat, and get out. I am from California, as are a few of my friends here, and James is from Iowa. We are used to sitting and talking while we eat, and then talking (and sipping a drink) for awhile when we are finished (unless the restaurant is extremely busy and needs the table, but we still don't let ourselves be rushed through the meal). I guess it is kind of a hold-over from sitting around the table at home, sharing about our day. I guess some people view the dinner table as a place just to nourish their bodies and others see it as a place to nourish their bodies and their minds and souls.

Barbara

 

[VeraBlue]

Obviously not. I was telling you what SHE said. I usually do say "Thank You".

However, once the order is taken, a good server SHOULD be invisible. I do not go to a restaurant to visit with the employees, and I find an overly talkative server quite annoying, no matter where I am. A friendly, "Hello, and how are you today," is quite sufficient.

That doesn't mean that servers aren't people...it just means that they are there to serve, and not gab.

I agree completely. A dining out experience is a special time, regardless if you are at a $ restaurant or a $$$$ place. I'm there to speak with my company, not the staff. Regardless of the environment, staff will earn a bigger tip if my food is good and the service is great. To me, great service doesn't mean being my buddy, it means fading away so I can enjoy the reason I'm out.

Conversely, the reason I don't stack plates is similar to the reason I don't bag my order at the supermarket. I've yet to see waitstaff or cashiers show up at my job to help me... If I want to be helpful, I'll give my leftovers to one of the people I encounter sleeping in the subway.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

This is really interesting, Barbara. I don't think there is a right or wrong in anyone's approach - just illustrates how different we all are. Maybe it extends to lots of areas of service. Do you return your basket to the front of the store or the designated area in the parking lot? Do you return items you decide not to purchase to the area where you got them?

 

[Barbara L]

Maybe it extends to lots of areas of service. Do you return your basket to the front of the store or the designated area in the parking lot? Do you return items you decide not to purchase to the area where you got them?

LOL If they have a place for the carts I do put it there, unless the front of the store is closer. The only time I will leave my cart sitting in the parking lot is if there are already carts there (and then I usually put them together). Yeah, I'm one of the ones who will go all the way back to the remotest corner of the store to put something back where it belongs, unless I am in line when I make that decision, and then I will let the cashier know that I don't want it and give it to her/him. I hate it when people just shove things any old place--especially when it is something that needs to be refrigerated or frozen. That is just so inconsiderate. This reminded me of a movie I saw years ago. A teenaged newlywed was shopping and didn't want anyone to see how poor they were. She filled her cart with all kinds of expensive foods, to surround the few meager items she was going to buy. When she was done, she took out what she was buying, hid the cart behind a display, and hurried to the checkout counter!

Barbara

 

[buckytom]

note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)

 

[Barbara L]

note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)

I seriously almost had a T-shirt made for my friend that said, "Get behind me in line at your own risk!" Sometimes it is her fault, sometimes it is the cashier's fault, and sometimes something just malfunctions, but the line almost always stops when she is there!

Barbara

 

[buckytom]

lol, barbara.

from the wisdom of apu: get in line behind pathetic single men. only cash, no chit chat...

 

[babetoo]

great joke

i like to snap my fingers and shout c'mere boy" when i need the dishes bussed, and a bucket brought to the table with a wafer thi

it depends on what type of restaurant i'm in, and the "expected" level of service. if there's one waiter who's also bussing his own tables in a family type restaurant, we stack dishes to help out.

if we're in a higher end joint with (what should be) ample service, i will politely sit back a little to allow the dishes to be taken away. no stacking.

wasn't that a great skit. just one little mint, sir.
sometimes i help and sometimes i don't. don't know what makes the decision.

babe

 

[SizzlininIN]

We never finish eating at the same time no matter what course so when eat course is finished we put our dish at the end of the table for the server to whisk away. I too don't like for anyone to reach over me.

 

[Gossie]

We're on first name basis with the waiters/waitresses in most of the restaurants around here. I like it that way. I feel so comfortable in these places, and it's so nice to be greeted with a GENUINE smile.

 

[Gossie]

I hate it when people just shove things any old place--especially when it is something that needs to be refrigerated or frozen. That is just so inconsiderate.

I agree, but what I hate worse is the person(s) that work at that supermarket and put the said refrigerator/freezer items back in refrigerator/freezer area when the item is warm and it's obvious that it's been away from it's designated area for too long.

 

[VeraBlue]

note to self: never get behind vb at the supermarket check outs... (he hee)

Think about it....I've just spent $200, and placed it all on the belt. Why on earth would I want to go pick it back up and place it in bags? Tell me, when you buy a pair of shoes or some cool clothes for your son, do you have to put it into the bags, too?? It's a racket that the general public has fallen for, hook, line and sinker.

 

[buckytom]

food is a little different than clothing or toys, imo.

if i've spent the time to pick out the best that i can find of each ingredient, i don't mind helping them get home unblemished.

it would be nice if they had a competent bagger at each register, but i've seen them jam all kinds of stuff on top of more fragile things.

food stores themselves make it possible to help out just by making bags available. (while i'm sure they'd say that they're meeting the demands of certain customers who prefer to bag their own, it's probably more about operating cost reduction.)

in a toy or clothing store, i always stand back and let them bag. you pretty much have to.

 

[kitchenelf]

I rather enjoy bagging my own groceries when there isn't someone available. I put like things together and place frozen with other things that could benefit from the cool. I don't ever get when someone puts leaky raw chicken in with my romaine I also don't want my grapefruits in the same bag as my tomatoes.

I don't think there is any right or wrong here - it's just a matter of preference. I don't see it as a racket - I see it as what I like to do.