texasgirl
Master Chef
The 10 Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriages are made in heaven.
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]But then again, so is thunder and lightning. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 2 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]talk in your sleep. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 3 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 4 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Married life is about communication.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 5 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Either the car is new or the wife is. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 6[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 7 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 8[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]But the law allows only one wife. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 9[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]That is why one treats the other like toxic waste. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 10 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'[/FONT]
[/FONT]
Ouch, sorry, it won't let me change the font size.
Commandment 1
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriages are made in heaven.
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]But then again, so is thunder and lightning. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 2 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]talk in your sleep. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 3 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 4 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Married life is about communication.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 5 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Either the car is new or the wife is. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 6[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 7 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 8[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]But the law allows only one wife. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 9[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]That is why one treats the other like toxic waste. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Commandment 10 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'[/FONT]
[/FONT]
Ouch, sorry, it won't let me change the font size.