When I throw my big parties (about 40 people, one in the summer, one during the holidays), I often am questioned. Because I chose a childless lifestyle, people assume I hate kids. Actually, I'm not fond of a lot of parents I know, but the kids are great! Seriously, my response is that I live on incubator alley, and the kids are always welcome for the big parties.
For more casual get-togethers (as in, let's have a drink and some cheese), everyone wants to be at my house. In previous homes (and I've lived in scores of them) everyone gathered in the kitchen. Here people want to be in my dining room (a room with big, heavy chairs, more or less done up in mission style (the room was that way before we moved in, we just kept the decor going). I've always considered myself to be a rather sloppy housekeeper, but I've learned over the years that it is only if I compare myself to my mother. What would have been sloppy by mom's standards is pretty darned clean by others. I agree ... I may pick up dishes so we can stay at the table, but I don't go into the kitchen and start washing, etc. ONE smoker is allowed to smoke if it is just us. Any more have to go out. In reality, almost no one has taken us up on it, they all go outside, even when it is 95 degrees or -10. More than one person, or if we're in a group, no smoking. I agree with others -- always food, always a beverage. Even if it is saltines and a chunk of cheese. Even sandwich cold cuts can be cut into quarters and brought out with saltines or soda crackers.
I think what surprises me the most is how much younger people like to gather at my house. I don't have kids, my house is what I consider medium clean (Mom would be apalled). There is always food, although you have to let us know you're coming if you want booze ... mostly because we love it, so don't keep a full bar going. My much-younger neighbors love to hang out here, and I'm just wondering what makes 30-somethings want to hang out with 50-somethings. When I was a child and teen, everyone wanted to be at our house. I'm talking more adult stuff.