What to cook!? Picky gf again!

[ChefJune]

Since my gf doesnt like any of those, they had to cook the pork alone and add their sauce after, they had to make instant mashed potatoes for her, and thats all she ate.

Incorrect! They didn't have to, they chose to! and therein lies the difference.

Acceding to her every wish produces, imo, a spoiled child. The adult result is something you may choose to deal with, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Love has NOTHING to do with anything I'm reading here...

You are VERY young and infatuated with her and with life, and that is normal... but be careful about choosing a "spoilt child" as a life partner! Can you say "tribulation????"

EGADS!!!

 

[Snoop Puss]

Hello Goboemo,
Despite ChefJune's lecture, I still reckon the important thing is to have a good time at these events. In these situations, the people are more important than the peas! Ask her what she'd fancy and cook that. That way you're sure to feel comfortable, she's bound to feel happy and her folks will smile the whole meal through.

 

[buckytom]

i feel like i'm on an episode of "the o.c.".

if you read everyone's responses in a fast monotone, then it's more like "the gilmore girls"...

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

I have some experience in dealing with a partner who is a picky eater. Though I love my DW dearly, she has always been a picky eater, but not to the extent of your GF. Even so, I easliy adjusted to making foods she would eat, and prepairing for her healthy meals.

Be aware though, if you choose the woman you describe as a life partner, her inability to eat many wholesome foods will affect her health over time. She might be young, strong, and energetic now, but it will go away after she gets through her twenties. And if she's having any problems because of diet now, they will grow worse and time goes on.

Whether she likes it or not, her body needs a host of nutrients, minerals, and trace elements to maintain good health. If she's not getting them (including phytochemicals only found in veggies and fruits), she will not be able to fully participate in life.

There may be hope for her and your relationship with her. Just be aware that poor eating habits, and being picky, is just another stress on the relationship.

Oh, and because I took upon myself the challenge to prepare healthy foods that my DW will eat, our relationship is just fine, so it can be done. But still, it can be both limiting and exasperating at times, especially if your GW is strong willed and insists that her way is the only right way. DW has gotten over that as I'm the head cook around here and it's my kitchen.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[lulu]

By telling her you care and explaining that eating healthily can only help her with things like her eczema and study perhaps she will be prepared to push her boundries a little in return?

DH has psoriasis, its amazing how much diet can improve skin conditions and Goodweed is right, her body may one day have to bear the strain of carrying children (I know its a long way off for eith of you, but it still might happen one day) and they will need good nutrition even if her choice is to reject it.

 

[goboenomo]

Ya.. I'm worried about that. Her mom used to look exactly like and be as fit as my girlfriend, and as picky. Now.. she's........ not pleasant.

 

[lulu]

If you and your girlfriend are together when you are her mother's age you will love her for more than her looks......when DH and I met I was a well photographed v attractive woman. Ill health led to massive weight gain over just a few montghs, in depresses me, but DH says I'm still the same person and that when my health evens out so will my weight......love is BLIND! but her health is an issue for her, and as I say, for any children she might have. Its very early days for you guys to be thinking anything like that Gobo, but it is for that reason I would not humour too much and try and reach a healthy, happy medium between fussy and healthy.

 

[jkath]

You hit the nail on the head, Gobo. Have you ever seen anyone in their 40's look ravishing if all they ate was junk? The best looking people, imo, are those that eat lots of fresh foods regularly, take vitamins and try to do what's best for their body.

Here's a thought - take her to the market. Have her choose what she'd like to try (even if you have to sell her on the "pretty color" of the veggie). Let her be in charge of the menu (or so she'll think).

LOL Buckytom to the OC/GG. I've not seen either, but I get it. Actually, now it's almost like we're teaching Gobo.....wax on, wax off.

Best of luck to you, Gobo. We're rooting for you.

 

[goboenomo]

I know it wont be based on looks, but hey, it would be nice if she still looked close to the same. I got so extremely lucky with her. I'm very picky too, when it comes to girls. For a long time I didn't even care or think about getting a girl. Because I never found one appealing to me. My friends, like most teenagers will be sitting around checking out the girls and pointing them out to each other. But I wouldn't care. When I met her at a party my friend (who is living with me) threw, I walked in, saw her, and thought.... wow... she's kinda pretty. Her and I had a great time at the party. Everyone there knew there was something, and told me to ask her out, which again I hadn't thought of. But I certainly agreed with them. So I did. And obviously she said yes. I later found out she's aswell as picky, a very shy girl, and the fact that we hit it off so well the first night without her... getting too shy and backing off... tell us there was something great.

Oh! She had fish on our first date! She likes halibut. But halibut only.

Oh yeah, she does take vitamin. And she does this big workout session once a week. She goes out for a run with her coach, up and down stairs.

Also she has speedskating. She was telling me last night about having to wake up at 6 30 to go speed skating today. And she's going again tomorrow. So if she sticks with the vitamins, and the speedskating, it can only help keep her healthy, to a point.

So, as unappealing as I am. I still managed to get a very beautiful, as well as physically fit (for the time being, very smart, and nice girl. So definently she's going to stay with me whether I get her gifts at all. But it makes her more happy, and I want her to be as happy as possible while she's in school.

 

[jkath]

fish! Make fish! She likes it, and you can tell her it's reminiscent of your first date.

 

[goboenomo]

fish! Make fish! She likes it, and you can tell her it's reminiscent of your first date.

Yeah.... that wasn't really a good first date.
We went to Casey's. I ordered cheese capeletti, and she got her fish and fries. O there's an idea! Get her to switch from fries to mashed potatoes. Anyways.. we ate our meals, we talked, I gave her my big pile of gifts. (I brought her a big fluffy red bear, a made her a cd, I got her some chocolates, and I baked her some peanut butter cookies.)

When it came time to pay the bill, the server walked up and said here is your bill. I pulled out my debit card, and she said sorry, we don't take debit cards, but we have a machine at the back. I have a youth bank account so I could only take out $20 so my gf offered to pay the rest.

That was so dumb.

She just text messaged me. She's in the B class finals for speedskating.

 

[BreezyCooking]

I think the biggest hurdle you have to cross is the mental one - as in her upbringing re: food.

I mean, heck, if she likes Halibut, there's absolutely no reason why she shouldn't also like Cod &/or Flounder/Sole. In fact, Halibut, Sole, & Flounder are in the same family. All these fish taste virtually the same & can pretty much be prepared in the same ways.

It's the mental block towards trying & possibly enjoying anything new that's going to be the problem. If you can nudge her past that, I bet she'd find a whole new world of great flavorful & healthy food opportunities open up.

 

[lulu]

I agree, make fish.

Gobo, you seem a sweet and sincere young man. It is great tht you are focused and enthusiastic. I think it is great you are developing an approach of making effort to sustain a relationship. This bodes well for your success in the future.

It is good that your GF is fit and has sport, BUT, and I speak from experience here, exercise, -sport,physical endevour- makes many demands of one's body. It is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to eat well when making these demands of one's body. YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOUR GIRLFRIEND, so it is good you are not trying to force her, but I think you have a good oppertunity here - I notice that you too have a few food likes and dislikes, how about using exploring ingredients and cooking together as a way to expand both your eating likes and dislikes as well as your practical skill as a cook? Your mother maywell be happy to let the two of you cook up a storm on your GF's weekends home, if you make something for your family to eat with you or later, and cooking together is a good exercise for working as a team as well as the nutrition benefits and good fun.

 

[goboenomo]

I will definently try to get her to try other fish. And maybe one day, calimari.

That sounds good. I also might learn alot of interesting foods she might like when and if I get to work for my friends dad. He'll have an everchanging weekly european menu.

So it could work out.

 

[Shunka]

gobo, I have been reading each post on this thread and it occurs to me that many of your GF's problems besides her parents giving in to her whims; is that she may not have liked the ways most food were prepared by her Mum or Dad. I do think that she is more than likely spoiled by them but I also know what it is to have had food that was not prepared in the right way. Please try to open her tastes up; you may have to go slowly and the ones that suggested having her pick out foods are right!! Get her involved and show her that there are so many different possibilities. Just do not short yourself to cater to her; that is a very big mistake!! Been there!!!

 

[BreezyCooking]

You know, this thread has really, once again, made me uber-appreciative of my parents' take on food.

They were both cooking different ethnic dishes long long before that sort of cooking became popular, & from Day 1, my brother & I were encouraged to try anything & everything. BUT, we were never forced. There was one rule - before we declined to eat something, we HAD to taste it. If, after tasting it, we still didn't like it, we were not forced to eat it. But we did have to take that taste. The absolutely wonderful things I would have passed up if I hadn't been made to take that "one" taste, makes me shudder.

In addition, while we were never forced - after that first taste - to continue eating whatever it was we didn't like, no "special" meal was then prepared for us. We didn't have to eat what was being served, but we didn't get anything else either. That's the way it was, & having been raised that way, both my brother & I have outrageously healthy eating habits - at least as far as variety goes. Remember - both moderation & variety are the keys to good health as far as eating goes!! : )

 

[FraidKnot]

my brother & I were encouraged to try anything & everything. BUT, we were never forced. There was one rule - before we declined to eat something, we HAD to taste it. If, after tasting it, we still didn't like it, we were not forced to eat it. But we did have to take that taste. The absolutely wonderful things I would have passed up if I hadn't been made to take that "one" taste, makes me shudder.

In addition, while we were never forced - after that first taste - to continue eating whatever it was we didn't like, no "special" meal was then prepared for us. We didn't have to eat what was being served, but we didn't get anything else either.

That's exactly the way it was in my home growing up. I developed a love (nay, adoration!) for steamed artichokes when I was 9 because of this rule. I'm a bit of a picky eater myself in that I can't stand raw vegetables (it's more a texture than taste thing) or salads. But I eat the heck out of almost every cooked vegetable there is (and not cooked to death which sadly is the way a lot of vegetables are traditionally prepared in the southern U.S.) My diet is not lacking in nutrients. Now that I'm approaching 50 I'm very grateful I ate mostly nutritious meals throughout my life.

I also agree with the comment, aside from her parents completely indulging her alleged dislikes, it's possible it's the way the food is prepared at home that she doesn't like. My mother hated to cook. She took as many shortcuts as was humanly possible, including the dreaded "cream of mushroom soup" sauce. She never cooked fresh vegetables and very rarely frozen which are the next best thing. Always canned vegetables which are IMHO just awful. When instant mashed potatoes were introduced she was all over that! Ditto those "family size" frozen entrees, like sliced turkey (if you could call it turkey!) in gravy and salisbury steaks. I called her the Freezer Queen I'd eat the food because it's what we had but I basically learned how to cook in self-defense! Then I discovered I really enjoy cooking, which is a plus!

Ask your GF what she'd like but don't forget, you're cooking for others in her family, too, so it shouldn't be just what she likes. Have her go to the market with you. She doesn't sound like the type who has had all that much experience wandering through a grocery store. Getting her involved in the process just might help. Good luck!

Fraidy

 

[lulu]

Peer pressure is so much an issue with young peoples eating habits. My neices used to eat EVERYTHING till their less enlightened school chums pointed out green was not cool. I had friends who went through school and uni never eating green but are coming round now as they approach their thirties.

Its an EXCELLENT point about the way te food is prepared. Most people don't know if they are over cooking or cooking "wrongly" because if they do not eat adventurously when they are out they have only their own cooking to compare it too.

 

[FraidKnot]

I don't know about peer pressure. Maybe these days, yes, but then I never was one to cave in I got along with every "class" (or clique, if you will) in high school. I wasn't a cheerleader but I got along with them. I didn't enjoy sports but I got along with the guys on the teams. I wasn't a geek or a nerd but I got along with them. I wasn't one to leave campus to go smoke weed but I got along with them. When people made fun of me for being a bit studious, because grades were important to me, I basically backed them down. I sure didn't let them tell me what was cool or not cool to eat! Ah, but that was years ago. I didn't let them tell me how I should dress or that I had to wear name-brand clothes, either!

There's really not a "wrong" way to cook. But (for example) I despise canned cream of mushroom soup. Were I to use canned mushroom soup to make a gravy I'd use golden mushroom. I don't like instant mashed potatoes. I don't like canned vegetables or fresh ones cooked to death (but neither do I want them so "tender-crisp" they may as well be raw).

I've mentioned my mom was all about frozen and prepared foods when they came around. So one Thanksgiving when I visited them I roasted cornish game hens for us, made real mashed potatoes, steamed some fresh broccoli. I'm not sure why I didn't make cornbread dressing; probably because there was just the three of us for dinner and despite the fact that when I cook for just myself, my elderly parents wouldn't have stored them in the freezer to eat later. I am not a baker so I did heat up some frozen dinner rolls. This is the kind of really no-fuss meal they'd been missing all those years.

Another time I went to the store and I got some lovely veal cutlets (sorry if you're morally opposed to veal), half cream, a block of Parmesan cheese. I made veal piccata and fettucini with a nice creamy/Parmesan sauce (aka Alfredo). I can't recall the vegetable. Dad was ecstatic... Mom stopped cooking like that back in the 1960s!

Fraidy

 

[Snoop Puss]

Hello Goboenomo, Why not do halibut en papillotte? That way, everybody is ostensibly eating the same thing but you can make each papillotte individually and hence as simple or fancy as you choose. I wouldn't do mashed potato with halibut though. Too much white on the plate. You could do a julienne potato cake which has a nice crispy brown top, tastes just as good if not better than chips and is (probably) not as fat laden. If she eats rice, a better option still would be rice boiled with a tiny amount of turmeric and then drizzled at the end with some lemon juice to freshen up the colour and the taste.

Edited: have just re-read your first post and see that she doesn't eat rice. Scrap that for an idea, then!