Saphellae
Head Chef
Thanks Mama, I did search that site. Too bad I can't call them now.. I am in a panic.
Do you think I can call her tomorrow and ask her to cancel the lease for that reason? I gave her the deposit and first months rent a month ago...
Nick always is on the watch for the worst possible situation, for example he is scared that my ex will start leaving old pictures of us on our doorstep, vandalize our car, etc..
WOW! I would never let someone change my plans especially just guessing what they might do. And I would for sure not settle for a lesser life and compromise that much for anyone unless I was absolutely sure they may be a problem. Not only that but if someone may be a problem moving to another part of town will not change a thing they will find you anyway if they want to make problems for you. So if he has not harassed you the past two years I would not worry so much. Plus I have a Beretta 92 FS loaded and three good watch dogs so I know I will never have a problem with a psycho or a bear which came in my yard today but was just passing by but if he tried to get into the house? Well?
Saph - In your first post, you sais that you both knew that this was a possibility. I assume that you discussed "what if's" at that time. Other than the 50/50 becoming 100%, what has changed your/his "what if's".
You are not in control at the moment. When you know about the lease, you are again in control of YOUR decisions.
AC
I disagree, Adillo. She is, or should be in control. It is she, if she chooses not to be, and gives up that power to someone, anyone else, that will have to live with other's decisions. You can choose to make mountains out of molehills or not. But we, here, don't really know if they are imagined or real mountains. Only she has ability to decide that.
Well, maybe my opinion here is not a very popular one but running into ex's is all a part of life and growing up. If one fears running into ex's - - - - yikes! Unless, of course, there was violence involved. If there was no violence then I'm not sure what the problem is. OK, you don't like him. You don't have to talk to/acknowledge him. I don't exactly know how to word this without it sounding really bad, but, here goes...if Nick chooses NOT to move there with you because of an ex, who has shown no ill will since you broke up, who now lives 3 doors down...mmmm...he's got some growing up to do. Maybe I'm just different. Once you start vocalizing "predictions" it becomes dangerous, especially if there is a lot of insecurity involved. I seriously doubt he'll leave pictures of the two of you at your doorstep but what if he did? It would be childish and immature of him.
I hope you come back and let us know what you decide. I know I ran my mouth but you can't let other people run your lives. You and Nick should feel secure enough in each other to not worry about stuff like this. Maybe my take on this comes from having lived in small towns all my life. Anybody can be anyplace around here and probably run into 3 or 4 ex boyfriends/girlfriends at any given time. The only one I try to avoid at all costs is the one that held a gun to my forehead.
she hasn't lost anything but a little time. hope she will let lease go.
babe
Thanks for the advice everyone. Some of you missed the mark on the situation, but I appreciate it all the same.
So we are keeping the apartment. The landlord didn't even know who I was talking about when I mentioned my fears, saying she had never seen him around except for just the vehicle. That eases my fear a bit when I think about meeting him on the street. I'm sure Nick and I will be just fine living there.
I'm so happy you are staying. Don't worry about running into ex just say Hi make a little small talk and let him know you are here with your fiancee. No big deal. Sounds like the apt is a sweet deal and just continue with your plans. If any problem should come up later deal with it then. I'm sure it's gonna be great.Holy poop I just totally erased my entire post... lol... I hate when that happens!
I don't feel like typing it all in again..
Thanks for the advice everyone. Some of you missed the mark on the situation, but I appreciate it all the same.
So we are keeping the apartment. The landlord didn't even know who I was talking about when I mentioned my fears, saying she had never seen him around except for just the vehicle. That eases my fear a bit when I think about meeting him on the street. I'm sure Nick and I will be just fine living there.
How could I give up such a great deal anyways? I'm paying 750 for everything.. use of the laundry 2 days a week, internet, cable, heat, hydro, ac, parking... Plus Nick and I will be able to save up enough money for a house within two years. Pretty much our only expense is food and misc stuff.
I "move" in on Saturday. I'll only have the bare minimums (my old bed, bare kitchen necessities like my henkel pots, my computer possibly on a desk if i can find a cheapie used...thats about it). Nick will join me as soon as he can. He has already applied for a transfer in the military so it is only a matter of time now.