Here's some humor for all of you, courtesy of my brother, David:
HOME REMEDIES THAT WORK
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The
blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers - just cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes. Thus will reduce the pressure in
your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent your
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit
the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know
when you might need them to empty your
bedpan.