Holiday Game Birds Tale

[Claire]

I wasn't sure whether to add this to the other game birds line or start a new one. But the very first year we moved to the midwest, we became aware that we could buy game birds locally. I love wild game, but quickly learned that there is a reason birds were domesticated.

The first experience: Thanksgiving just came upon me by surprise. Not kidding. I've never spent Thanksgiving without a full table, but one day I looked at hubby and said something about Thanksgiving, and he said, well, you'd better hurry, it is Thursday. This was Monday. I'd invited no one, hardly knew anyone to invite. So just as an experiment, I said, let's go get a wild turkey. Well, it was the toughest bird I've ever dealt with in my life.

Ditto the mallard. Had more success with the pheasant, once I wrapped it in a ton of bacon.

But the real beauty of these game birds was that they made wonderful soups and stews. Which taught me; if you're dealing with a wild bird, you definitely need to use a moist cooking (braising, stewing) method. My problem is a mental block ... I paid a fortune for these birds, so wasn't about to turn them into a stew. Is that stupid or what?

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

It's all about those exercised muscles. Two wild turkeys struttin' there stuff: " Hey, Girly-boy turkey. let me fluff my tail feathers in front of you. The women are gonna go for me. Just watch me strut my stuff, and take lessons boy."

"Get outta here, you bag of goose-down." I got a three inch dew-claw on the back of each leg that says you better find a new neighborhood."

"Why that little dew claw of yours aint big enough to menace an earth worm."

"Yeah, well an earth worm has more strength than that puny neck of yours, But then again, it don't take much to hold up that empty head."

"C'mere boy. You're gonna find out right now how empty my head is."

"Yeah fluff boy, bring it on."

"Gawk, ow, you're gonna pay for that!..."
"Arrrgh, get yer foot outta my eye!"
"#*@$# bird brain. Take that!" POW

Off in the distance - "Hey Erma. Wanna come over to my tree? It's quiet there. We won't have to listen to those amatures over there."

"Why yes, Clem."

"Oh, and did I mention that I heard some human squakin' his turkey caller over by those two yardbirds?"

"Why no you didn't. Do you think we should warn them?"

"Oh no. The human's far to close. It's too dangerous. You just come with me to my tree. We can watch from there."

"Well, if you thinks it's too dangerous. And besides, a bath in scalding, I mean hot water, will quiet those two."

"Yup, it's gonna be tough tukey for those boys come thanksgiving day, if you get my drift."

"Oh Clem, you're so bad..."

KPOW

"Claire. Are those turkeys ready to come outta the oven yet? The aroma is killin' me. I'm starved."

"Well you're just gonna have to wait. You shot two of the toughest Toms I've ever cooked. I just might have to put 'em in a stew."

"Then how 'bout a sandwich to hold me over."

"You got two arms and two legs. Come in here and make yourself a sandwich. And while your at it, you can peel some spuds."

Hubby sneaks up on his best friend/wife and plants a kiss on her cheek. "Honey, I love you so much. But you know, with your cooking, maybe we could sell that turkey meet to shoe stores, you know, to make tennis shoe soles."

She whirls and pokes him in the ribs with two fingers. He grins from ear to ear as he laughingly continues "Or maybe we can sell them to the road commision, you know to mix with tar for road construction."

He's at a dead run from the kitchen now as Claire picks up a sopping wet sponge to hurl at her goofball Husband.

Just another day in the life of Claire.



Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[buckytom]

i'll have one of whatever goodweed's drinkin.

ol, too funny gdwd...

 

[mudbug]

Too darn funny, Goodweed!! I see you have another career in you as a sketch writer. Still laughing.....

 

[marmalady]

Too funny, Goodweed! We had wild turkeys on our property in NJ, and what you described is soooooo true! Hubbie had never seen wild ones before, and one time when they all picked up and flew, he was amazed!

 

[Claire]

Gee, Goodweed, you've been peekin' in my kitchen!!!!

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

I write SF and Fantasy stories as well as cookbooks, as a hobby. Just completed the first draft of my first SF novel last Friday. It'll take about five prrofreadings before I start to become comfortable with it. Shouldn't take long though, about a year. It's only about 540 pages long. My completed Fantasy novel is in excess of 700 pages. And it's been through over ten revisions to try to get rid of the errors.

My writing, in fact, is how I got hooked up with the food sites. And now, with two novels underway, and three more in the early stages of development, four completed cookbooks, a diabetic cookbook underway, plus family, work, extended family, church, and our first ever winter carnival (my idea, and I'm on the planning comitee and directly responsible for a cardboard sled race), you can see I'm not one to sit still for very long.

Plus, I have two daughters in university and a son who is a proffesional chef, and who keeps calling and asking for help with cooking things outside his restaurant experience. The other son is leaving tomorrow to go back to Kuwait. He'll be permanantly out of the military in March, while his fiance' will be out in April. They will be living with us for the summer. It should be a lot of fun. I intend to school that young man on a go-kart track, heh, heh, heh.

Yes, I have a full life, and then some. Wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, and I love to make people smile.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Audeo]

Oh, and I love to make people smile.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

And how you do!

Give your son an extra tight hug from all of us, Goodweed. March will be here before you know it!

 

[Claire]

I love writing myself (can you tell?) and while I don't do it for money, have quite a following among friends and family, and have done newspaper columns for the fun of it for years. Probably many of you do, but I have a cookbook in the works, that will only be for friends and family, mostly about my years travelling and the dishes that are traditional family favorites combined with weird things you have to come up with in a pinch when in a strange place in limited space. When I changed from my little laptop to a regular computer, I lost a lot of it, and haven't worked on it in ages (literally years). So, Goodweed, you handed me a new years resolution. Get off my butt (well, technically get ON my butt) and work on it.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Well Caire, if I can do it, anybody can do it. I just wish I had the talent, or maybe the gumption, to quit my day job and write professionaly. I'm gettin tire of crawling under buildings, through attic spaces, and being on-call every other week. But the money pays the bills, and I ahve good medical benefits (that's important because I couldn't afford my wife's medical bills). But I am a slave to the wage.

You'd think there could be a better way for society to live than to crack the whip and work ourselves to death, all the while being chastized by others for things that in the grand scheme of things, don't mean a hoot.

Oh don't mind me. I'm down with a very nasty cold, you know, sore chest, aching throat, stuffed up sinuses, and at the worst possible time with respect to the day job.

But that'a life. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth living. So I'll be back to work tomorow, to take yet another tongue lashing about something.

And people wonder why some of us look forward to the afterlife and the rest it promises. I wouldn't hasten it. But I won't run from it when it comes (hopefully in another 40 years or so).

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Well Caire, if I can do it, anybody can do it. I just wish I had the talent, or maybe the gumption, to quit my day job and write professionaly. I'm getting tired of crawling under buildings, through attic spaces, and being on-call every other week. But the money pays the bills, and I ahve good medical benefits (that's important because I couldn't afford my wife's medical bills). But I am a slave to the wage.

You'd think there could be a better way for society to live than to crack the whip and work ourselves to death, all the while being chastized by others for things that in the grand scheme of things, don't mean a hoot.

Oh don't mind me. I'm down with a very nasty cold, you know, sore chest, aching throat, stuffed up sinuses, and at the worst possible time with respect to the day job.

But that'a life. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth living. So I'll be back to work tomorow, to take yet another tongue lashing about something.

And people wonder why some of us look forward to the afterlife and the rest it promises. I wouldn't hasten it. But I won't run from it when it comes (hopefully in another 40 years or so).

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North