Zereh said:
Couple things ~ my biggest pet peeve ever is towards myself that I let little things get under my skin. I'm learning to let it all slide. Slowly. =0) I'm trying to save my energy for better things! (Repeats to self again and again... haha)
Kudos to you who refuse to be a lemming! and thank the gods that you're there to be a champion for your child. It breaks my heart to think of those who don't have someone like you there to stand up for them.
I tell myself those same things - about not letting little things bother me. I know they shouldn't bug me, but somehow they do - and that
really bugs me!
I have to comment on the last part. I don't in any way consider myself a lemming. Nor do I try to make my child fit into a mold. I do, however, have him take meds. We went through several years of finding one that works without taking away his wonderfully quirky personality. But, he needs the help that the meds offer. He can concentrate better. He can think before acting/speaking (at least sometimes). He's not in trouble all day because of his behavior. We have made it very clear to him that the meds are only an assist - not a solution. That ultimately, he is responsible for his own behavior. But for him to have a feeling of success, he needs some help.
I'm probably not stating my case very well. I also think that we drug our kids way to readily. The first doctor we took ds to sounded like a great doctor. We would have to come in weekly, at first, until we had things better under control. We went through about three different meds before we found one that seemed to be working. Then, when we would come in for our weekly follow-up, I would fill out this questionaire about ds' behavior during the past week (like, on a scale of 1-5, how did he do with staying in a chair, speaking out of turn, etc. I don't remember exactly, but I think 1 was good and 5 was bad). We could definitly see improvement, but he still wasn't "perfect", and I marked the sheet as honestly as I could. The doctor would then up his dose. It was up'd to the point where I had a walking drone instead of a son. His wonderful sense of humor was gone. He never smiled anymore, let alone laughed. We did that for (I'm ashamed to say) about a month when I realized that this is NOT what was needed. So, I took him back down to one pill a day (he'd started at one 18 mg pill and moved up to 4 a day! He was only about 7 at the time) and we quit going to that doctor. It's been a long road, but we're happy with where we are right now. He's still my wonderfully quirky boy (at the age of 8, he thought that the name "Norm" was short for Enormous! Isn't that great!!), still has a little trouble with impulse control, but as far as I'm concerned, it's all tolerable because I don't know any teenager out there who has a perfect personality. And besides, I know his heart - and there's not a better heart out there.
I guess what I'm trying to say and not succeding is simply this: just because my son takes meds for ADHD doesn't mean that I don't have his BEST interests at heart. It doesn't mean that I'm giving him meds to make MY life easier. I believe that some people need help and he is one of them. I try to keep all my children's best interests in mind when deciding treatments, disciplines, schooling, vacations, church, fun and games, movies, etc.
So, that's the other side of the coin, I guess. Sorry to be so long winded. And I hope I'm not coming across as being rude or anything, because I'm not meaning it that way.