Yes, my mother has dementia--specifically vascular dementia because of the heart meds she has been on for years. My father also has memory issues. His are more typical of what you see in a person ageing. I live 1400 miles away and am the only child who comes to assist four times a year for a month at a time. This time, I'm having difficulties meeting my work deadlines because of Internet access issues and because my mother has deteriorated since April and is having more crisis moments. I am drafting a letter to my father because he only has 30% hearing and typically doesn't wear his hearing aids. Writing my concerns is easier than trying to shout them at him. They are financially able to hire someone to come and cook on a regular basis. My mother should be in assisted living, but my father will not consider it. I am between a rock and hard place and try to make things easier (label things, use up things, etc.) but she is getting worse faster than I can get things done. Today I found a black garbage bag in the garage that had (4) of my father's winter hats, used tissues, moldy beyond belief philly cheese, and the list goes on in it. My father was thrilled I found his hats--I was in tears as I sorted through the bag. I think she squirreled this bag away in June 2009 based on the magazines, etc., that were also in it.
I would love to bring her home with me. She is easy to have around if you are attentive to what she is doing. Right now, she is fixated on counting money, so I've given her a bunch of different denominations and suggest that she go count her money a couple of times a day. Sometimes she can, but most times she gets stuck when she has to count the bills that aren't 20s. I'm thinking of buying a Monopoly game and giving her the money from that to count...She can't dial a phone number, she can't take a phone message, and she can't fill out a check--but she can still sign her name. But yes, she has really bad days and then she has good days. The doctor wants her to stay in her home as long as possible. My brothers are of no help. One has had no contact with my parents for 4 years, the other hasn't been to visit for almost 2 years. My mother responds best to me, my father responds better to the brother who hasn't visited for 2 years. And he's in denial (well, both of them are--my dad and my brother). And, the count of cans of manderin oranges went up by four this week--even though they are on the DO NOT BUY list and the inventory count is now 27--and I've used 3 cans. I didn't know about the ones squirreled away in the broom closet when I did inventory.