Valnetines Poems
Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly.
Bend over Babe,
'Cause here comes my willy!
roses are red, pickles are green
i love your legs and whats between
i like your style i like your class
but most of all i like your ass
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So heres my story...what else can I say?
Love bites my ass...Fark Valentines Day!
Redneck's Valentine's Day Poem that'll touch your heart-
Roses are red,
or are they blue?
Hell I don't know
but i do like you.
I love you more
than my truck's tires.
Yer more useful than my
old rusty pliers.
You cook a good deer
and fry a good egg,
just wish you'd shave that
hair off your legs.
If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,
It's okay, I'll still feel the same,
I'll just keep on tellin my buddies,
yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.
Yer my pride and joys,
What a lady!
But hows come we do it
only when it's my payday?
When I ran over ya with my truck,
you didn't even say "ouch."
And you are so cute,
when you wipe your boogers under the couch.
I hope we stay together,
at least a couple more days-
cuz i'm really horney
and I want to get laid.
Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings
My love for you...
it came and went.
So your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Lie down with me
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.