My reply is based on my beliefs, and you may or may not like what you read. But it is what it is.
A relationship between two people is based on numerous aspects. These include respect, attractions, a desire to love and to be loved in return, honesty, integrity, selflessness, mutual interests, disimilar interests, and a willingness to put the needs of your partner before your own needs. And both persons in the relationshipa must exhibit all of these.
In the real world, we are taught from a young age that we are important, and to watch out for number one. This might not be the mantra spoken in your home, but it is in our society. This molds us into strong, independant individuals who are capable of acting and reacting according to our perceived needs. Unfortunately, it also makes us somewhat egocentric.
For a relationship to work, we must put away the ego and relplace it with love, and I'm not talking about a physical relationship here. Love is exhibeted by the man who agrees to alllign the toilet paper roll according to his partners preference, realizing that which way it rolls doesn't really mean a hill of beans. It also means that if his partner is behaving badly, he let her know his true feelings, with love, patience, and tenderness.
True love is never violent, nor does it manifest itself in anger. The couples who last a lifetime and beyond, are aware of each other, and each other's requirements for praise, for respect, for tenderness, for playfullness, of each other's strengths & weaknesses. True love always tries to build, never tear down. Sincere and honest communication is practiced every minute of every day.
Fights are inevitable. The things learned from those battles, and the change in behavior that comes from self-evaluation makes the relationship stronger. True love scrapes and claws its way through the hurdles thrown by life, by the pressures that try to break it. It never gives up. It refuses anything less than success.
Ask yourself a couple of questions to find out if you are ready for a life-long relationship with your girlfreind.
1. Are you willing to put her needs before your own, at all times?
2. Is she willing to put your needs before her own, at all times?
3. Would you sacrifice your time, your resources, even your life for her?
4. Would she sacrifice her time, her resources, even her life for you?
5. Is her happiness and fulfillment more important to you than is your own?
6. Is your happingess and fullfilment more important to her that is her own?
It is hard to find a partner who meets all the qualifications to truly be your perfect partner. And a strong relationship is no trivial thing. And contrary to what our society seems to throw at us, the act of marriage is far more than a simple piece of paper, and a fee paid to the state. It is an agreement that states "I will give all of my energies and love to my partner, as she will do the same for me." It is supposed to be an unbreakable commitment between a man and a woman to love, support, and be there for each other, no matter what state the world is in, or what challenges rise up before you.
Simply stated, a wife should be her husband's best freind, and vice-versa. The strength of marital bonds must be stronger than the relationships with your Mother, or Father, or siblings, even stronger than is the bond between parent and child. And you could not possibly believe how much I love my children.
Sadly, many of today's marriages are based on finances, or physical lust, or the kids, or supposed security. These marriages are doomed to failure before they start, and usually end badly for everyone involved.
Don't be afraid to search for the right girlfreind. And when you find her, you must be the right boyfreind.
This advice comes from a man married to the same woman for thirty years now, and still going strong. The trials have been many, and there are many more awaiting us. But my wife truly loves me, and I truly love her. And I have two children who are married, both with exceptional relationships that have all the markings of lifetime comitments. I expect the other two children will have the same. I hope you will as well.
Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North