Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
You are getting lousy kale it takes that long to be tender. You are turning it into mush. Yuck. I have probably cooked more than 500 lb of kale and I've never had to cook it for 45 minutes. I saute it for breakfast for about 10 minutes in olive oil/bacon fat/coconut fat. 45 minutes, no way. It should be tender in 12-15 minutes or less.
Not everyone can grow their own kale, I actually have to buy it in a store. I'm sure your home grown tender kale is far superior to what I buy, but I assure you the kale I buy is not turned to "mush" with my cooking method.