Resurrection of the dinner hour

[Janet H]

We have been shunning our dining rooms! I was watching a real estate review show that discussed new floor plans that do not include a formal dinning room and began to wonder if this is really progress.

Are we so busy that we can't take time to sit and reconnect at the end of the day, sharing experiences and taking time to savour all these meals that we spend so much time working on? Does our busy, 'bite at the bar' existence really work or is actually perpetuating a busier schedule? We never actually stop going. Maybe making time each day for dinner with family or friends would have a calming effect.

So.... at my house we are going to put this to the test. Beginning Sept 1 for an entire month we are going to have a proper dinner in the dining room at an appointed hour - no excuses. The only reason to not show would be a predetermined work schedule or trip to the ER. The menu is not important. Even if it's grilled cheese sandwiches and canned soup, we will set the table, use real plates, have no TV, laptops or cell phones in the room and spend an hour setting, enjoying and cleaning up dinner. I am betting that after a few weird evenings, we find that a new routine is established with household members finishing tasks before dinner and new and nicer vibe reigning in the evening.

Does anyone want to join me and rediscover your disappearing dining room? If so, clean off your table, put away the heaps of stuff piled in your dining room, get out the candles and channel your inner great grandmother. Keep me posted on your progress. Let's Dine!

 

[FrankZ]

Generally when we cook we eat at the table unless it something like a box of KD for dinner. Ordering out usually means we eat on the couch.

It is not a hard and fast rule though.

 

[Janet H]

Generally when we cook we eat at the table unless it something like a box of KD for dinner. Ordering out usually means we eat on the couch.

It is not a hard and fast rule though.

We have considered take out in our plans and may still do this... but the table will be set and we will eat it together and in the absence of other distractions. There is a great Thai place nearby that we often call and would miss - but dinner on the couch or at the kitchen bar watching TV is a thing of the past. we'll see how it goes

 

[Margaux]

Good for you! We don't have an eat-in kitchen (we're empty nesters who've down-sized from a huge house), so we have all our meals in our dining room. Of course, our new house is open-plan, so the dining room is open to the TV! It's all good!

 

[FrankZ]

You are going to make allowances for when football is on right?

 

[Andy M.]

I understand your concern for loss of the 'dinner hour' and support your effort to get it back.

SO and I eat on stools at the kitchen counter. I always set the 'table' with dishes and silverware and we continue talking about the interesting aspects of the day that we started talking about over a drink.

We used to have weekend dinners at the dinner table but that has died out.

I think it's less important where you eat as opposed to what the meal represents. I insist dinner is more than a pit stop to fuel up. It's a family social event for family members to spend together. It's probably your only opportunity to share the good and bad things about the day. I believe it's especially important it there are young children in the house.

I hope you make it work Janet.

 

[justplainbill]

Some folks, myself included, would call Janet's dinner our supper.
Speaking of resurrections, at what time did the 'Last Supper' occur?

 

[Andy M.]

Some folks, myself included, would call Janet's dinner our supper.
Speaking of resurrections, at what time did the 'Last Supper' occur?

There is a clock in the background of DaVinci's painting that very clearly shows it's 7:43.

 

[justplainbill]

There is a clock in the background of DaVinci's painting that very clearly shows it's 7:43.

P.M. ?

 

[Uncle Bob]

I don't feel a "formal dining room" is a prerequisite for a family meal ~~~ I Agree with Andy M....A family "diner hour" can be held on bar stools at the kitchen counter/bar etc as well as wrought iron tables on the patio or at the informal breakfast room table. Some of my favorite, and most memorable family meals were held in "Uncle Bob's Park" on a homemade picnic table behind the house, as well as in our very formal dining room. ~~~ I do agree, that regardless of the venue..the rewards of time spent with your family cannot be measured...It's priceless!!!

Have Fun!!!!

 

[licia]

The only time we haven't had a dining room was when we lived in apartments. However, unless we have more than four eating, we eat in the kitchen. The table is always set and the only time we have the tv on is while we eat is at breakfast. We have our dinner at 5 almost every day - sometimes later on Saturday but we do have a real dinner time each day even if it is just dh and me.
The term "formal dining room" has always puzzled me. We have a separate dining room and a separate living room, however, I don't consider either of these "formal" since we don't lead a "formal" lifestyle. Perhaps I should brush up on a few meanings.

 

[Janet H]

One of our goals here is to specifically move dinner out of the kitchen. We often eat at the kitchen island and have a lovely time, but there are dishes, the remnants of last minute food prep, etc. and somehow eating in the dining room is for us a 'centering' act. I have always noticed this but never really considered why before. It seems that the change of venue for the meal is an important part of this. And as you've pointed out eating on the patio would achieve the same thing.

When considering the term 'formal' in relationship to dining room, I assume a dedicated room for dining, not necessarily a formal decor. There are no crystal chandeliers at my house...

 

[Barbara]

I set the kitchen table for dinner after breakfast dishes are done Always have done this - if I'm having a dinner party I set the table the day before! For just the two of us I still have place mats & cloth napkins. Glass of wine before and during dinner. we take turns talking, and then sometimes I do all of it

 

[Andy M.]

...The term "formal dining room" has always puzzled me. We have a separate dining room and a separate living room,...

As Janet said a 'formal' dining room just means a separate room with only dining room type furniture in it - table and chairs, sideboard, serving table, etc. We don't have one of those. We have a dining area. That's a large room divided by an ell of the kitchen counter. The kitchen is on one side of the ell and the dining area is on the other side.

 

[roadfix]

Times have changed. Many household members, usually both spouses, work these days with varying schedules. We actually use our dining room only 3 times a year on average and this has been going on for several years. No wonder builders exclude dining rooms from their plans. I bet formal dining tables and China cabinets are not as popular as well...
Our dining room is the nicest looking room in the house as we try to keep it formal but what for?.....It is such a waste of space comparable to a small bedroom.

 

[jet]

I think the most important thing is a lack of distractions, including television, laptops and cell phones. Heck, even a meal eaten in a car could qualify, assuming the car isn't moving.

 

[Linux]

We live in a large Victorian country house that has a grand dining-living room which we use for everyday scoffing, festivities, celebrations, entertaining clients and for parties, often rowdy (I live with five other girls), can be extended close to something resembling a runway. I could almost skateboard down it. This lovely old table is close to an old Victoria conservatory leading out into the garden. It’s wonderful eating good old home cooked food while appreciating the flowers, shrubs and fruit trees outside over a lawn that stretches as far as the eye can see. What I love the most is sitting by pots containing fragrant lavender, roses and beautiful kumquats getting ripe and ready for picking. Somehow, bringing plants into the house helps extend our love for the garden

Close by, is a hulking great wood burning stove, and during cold windy evenings and in wintertime, we can put a kettle on top to make a brew. Our home is very much a rambling old place with lots of Victorian character, but it’s family who make the occasion, so TV dinners on trays is way cool, only without having to sit perched up at table shouting “Would someone please pass the marmalade!” and giggling as it whizzes down at a speed of knots, gleefully pushed by someone sixteen feet up north.

 

[Katie H]

Interesting. Almost all of my life, I've eaten most, if not all, of my meals at a dining table of one sort or another. When I was a child, we didn't have a dining room so we all ate at the kitchen table - at the same hour - every day, except Sunday. The main/dinner/supper meal was usually about 4 p.m. on that day. Not sure why, but that's the way it always was.

When I left home and had my own family/home, we didn't always have a dining room, so the same routine continued, but we at at the taable. Although, when we did have a dining room, that's where we ate.

When my children were in their late teens and some out of the house, we established a once-a-month "Dinner Sunday" event, that included using all the best china, glassware, silverware, linens, etc. We did that for years and the children still talk about our fun Dinner Sundays. My oldest will be 40 this month, so it's been a while since we had any of those events.

By the time the nest was empty and it was just Buck and me, we still continued our table-style dining, even though we had a modest breakfast room in our last house.

Buck is gone and Glenn and I are a family now and we, too, always eat all our meals at the table, even if we're only having cheese and crackers or leftovers. And...the table is always set and each of us has a cloth napkin, which is something I've done for over 30 years. I was invited to a picnic a number of years ago and was asked to bring the paper napkins. I didn't have in the house, but the luxury of dining with cloth napkins is just one of those little pleasures I enjoy. I probably have a couple of hundred of them in all manner of colors/styles/patterns and keep them rolled up in a big wicker basket in the kitchen. I've even used a basketful of them as a centerpiece on the kitchen table.

Regardless of my stage in life, the TV was never part of eating, nor was telephone conversation (even before the introduction of cell phones). Our mealtimes were spent enjoying each other and discussing our day. The only outside stimulation...soft music of some sort in the background. I still have something soothing queued in the CD player before we sit down to eat.

Unfortunately, I think, dining together is dying out and has become somewhat of a lost event. It's fun, informative and one of the best times a family can have to "bond." By the way, we NEVER adhered to the "Children should be seen and not heard" at the dinner table. Where's the fun in that?!

My hat's off to you, Janet! Keep us posted on how you fare. It'll be fun and challenging, too. Enjoy!

 

[kadesma]

Sundays around here is like a circus. Children are encouraged to join in . Each one gets a turn to tell what school was about during the week or tell something important to them. We encourage laughter and hugs and kisses. You should see them trying new foods giving me their take on a recipe. What a joy they are. The older two are my taste testers and dig right in. Honest, you bet they are. Life around Ma's table the best.
Your don't frown there is too much to laugh about.
kadesma

 

[Alix]

We always eat together as well. Sometimes during ball season that means a sandwich or bowl of soup before we run, but we make a point of all sitting together once a day. Usually the table gets set, (not necessarily fancy shmancy) and the meal gets served to the table. We all sit in, say grace and dig in. We talk about our days and share plans for later.

We've never had a dining room. Its just the way our house was built. Small kitchen and small dining area in the kitchen. Its just the way I like it. And although the tv is in the next room, its OFF during the dinner hour. We focus on each other. I'd miss that if we didn't do it that way.