Okay, here goes....ahem....
"Um, excuse me? Yes, my friend here needs...ummm (whattya need, Middie?) oh yeah! Ummm...yeah....she needs an extra napkin...(aw, shoot, now it sounds like you're sloppy)...I mean, a fork <<dropping Middie's fork on the floor on purpose>> cause hers is ..<<kicking it under the table>> umm....gone. Please?"