Chief Longwind Of The North
Certified/Certifiable
In reality,I started with my children as soon as they were able to crawl. That is, I started teaching them about hazards and how to obey me, and that it was important to obey me. I'd have the charcoal grill going and let a solid bed of charcoal get very hot. Then, I'd pick up the child and place his/her little hand in mine and move it close to the fire. I'd know when we were too close both by the heat level on my hands and the fact that they'd begin to squirm. I'd let the heat become uncomfortable, but not dangerous. Then I pulled both of our hands away, point to the appliance and say "hot" firmly. I'd then move their hand, again in my hand, close to the outside of the barbecue. Again it would be uncomfortably warm. Again I'd pull away and say "hot!" firmly. A couple times in one session and they learned what "hot" meant. After that, whenever I told them something was hot, they would stay away from it. And I never told them something was hot that wasn't.
Some who saw me do this thought I was being cruel and skolded me for it. But not one of my children ever had to endure the pain of a serious burn. Nobody taught me those lessons and I learned them the hard way. I have some substantial scarring on one shin due to 2nd degree burns, and I never wanted my children to have to suffer that pain. It was almost unberable.
In the same way, my kids learned to understand that when I warned them that something was dangerous, care needed to be taken.
My kids learned what sharp was by age four, and were cutting with butter-knives by age three. They learned the mechanics of cutting, and by age six or seven, were at home in the kitchen helping dad with mixing, simple, supervised cutting chores, measuring and so on. The key was that they learned that knives, stoves, pans, etc. were tools. This was impressed upon them and they then didn't use them as toys. They had toys and knew the difference. and since they were familiar with the kitchen tools, curiosity never led them to experiment with them when we weren't in the kitchen with them. In short, we could trust them to be safe, at least in the kitchen. Now that's not to say that they didn't fall out of a tree or two.
But even there, the falling skills that I learned in Judo, and taught to them saved them from serious injury. You can't give your children enough knowledge. The more you give them, the more you increase the chance that they will not have to learn hard lessons through experience. Of course, a few knocks in life are required too, but not one that will maim or injure.
They are all now accomplished cooks in their own right, and very creative in the kitchen. We also had a lot of fun and could experiment and try things, because they knew I was straight with them. I didn't exaggerate danger, and tried not to minimize it. They witnessed me cutting myself a few times due to carelessness, and so didn't have to learn it the hard way. I do remember my youngest daughter nicking a thumb a couple of times though.
To me, that's a parents job, to teach skills, and to guide children with love, letting them progress at their own level, and trying to encourage without pressuring. I have four children, and they learned at different speeds. They also each had their own strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to recognize those and to help them overcome the weaknesses while developing their strengths. And sometimes, you get it right, and sometimes it brings a few tears and some frustration, to both child and parent. But if you try, and honestly make an effort to understand each child, the rewards are beyond measure. Plus, you gain a trust, and a bond with your children that can't be shaken. And let me tell you from personal experience, there is nothing more fulfilling in life than to see your children grow to be responsible, happy, adults who love you and are friends with you. I have that, and wouldn't trade it for anything. I know too many parents who are estranged from their children, and generally it's because they put too much time into their careers, or their own personal life, and not enough time into loving their families. To me, there is nothing more heart wrenching. You see that lien at the bottom of my posts? That's my creed. It's what I live my life by. Put your family first and it will come back to you a hundredfold, and that includes not only your children, but your husband or wife too.
Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
Some who saw me do this thought I was being cruel and skolded me for it. But not one of my children ever had to endure the pain of a serious burn. Nobody taught me those lessons and I learned them the hard way. I have some substantial scarring on one shin due to 2nd degree burns, and I never wanted my children to have to suffer that pain. It was almost unberable.
In the same way, my kids learned to understand that when I warned them that something was dangerous, care needed to be taken.
My kids learned what sharp was by age four, and were cutting with butter-knives by age three. They learned the mechanics of cutting, and by age six or seven, were at home in the kitchen helping dad with mixing, simple, supervised cutting chores, measuring and so on. The key was that they learned that knives, stoves, pans, etc. were tools. This was impressed upon them and they then didn't use them as toys. They had toys and knew the difference. and since they were familiar with the kitchen tools, curiosity never led them to experiment with them when we weren't in the kitchen with them. In short, we could trust them to be safe, at least in the kitchen. Now that's not to say that they didn't fall out of a tree or two.
But even there, the falling skills that I learned in Judo, and taught to them saved them from serious injury. You can't give your children enough knowledge. The more you give them, the more you increase the chance that they will not have to learn hard lessons through experience. Of course, a few knocks in life are required too, but not one that will maim or injure.They are all now accomplished cooks in their own right, and very creative in the kitchen. We also had a lot of fun and could experiment and try things, because they knew I was straight with them. I didn't exaggerate danger, and tried not to minimize it. They witnessed me cutting myself a few times due to carelessness, and so didn't have to learn it the hard way. I do remember my youngest daughter nicking a thumb a couple of times though.
To me, that's a parents job, to teach skills, and to guide children with love, letting them progress at their own level, and trying to encourage without pressuring. I have four children, and they learned at different speeds. They also each had their own strengths and weaknesses. The trick is to recognize those and to help them overcome the weaknesses while developing their strengths. And sometimes, you get it right, and sometimes it brings a few tears and some frustration, to both child and parent. But if you try, and honestly make an effort to understand each child, the rewards are beyond measure. Plus, you gain a trust, and a bond with your children that can't be shaken. And let me tell you from personal experience, there is nothing more fulfilling in life than to see your children grow to be responsible, happy, adults who love you and are friends with you. I have that, and wouldn't trade it for anything. I know too many parents who are estranged from their children, and generally it's because they put too much time into their careers, or their own personal life, and not enough time into loving their families. To me, there is nothing more heart wrenching. You see that lien at the bottom of my posts? That's my creed. It's what I live my life by. Put your family first and it will come back to you a hundredfold, and that includes not only your children, but your husband or wife too.
Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
