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CWS4322 said:
I am sitting by my Mom's bed, as I have been for a week. She went into hospital while I was in Ontario. She is dying. My Dad is in denial. What I wish someone had told me was how hard this would be. I didn't know her eyes would change colour, or her skin. I didn't know the howls she would make in the night would chill me to the bone. I didn't know how hard the floor in her bedroom would be to sleep on.I didn't know how hard it would be to give her that first dose of morphine, or how much easier it would be to give her the next dose. I didn't know how hard it would be to deal with my father who is totally in DENIAL as he writes his Christmas cards and wants us to have Christmas...no offense to DCers who are Jewish, but I am preparing to sit Shiva and never want to acknowledge Christmas again. I read her columns out loud to her that she wrote for the newspaper they owned when I was a child--fun times, try hard to hide my tears and that lump that climbs into my throat and almost chokes me. I read her Winnie-the-Pooh and, I spend a lot of time sitting in her room. I also sneak up on her hospital bed and cuddle next to her as I try to keep my tears from flowing. I know I shouldn't do that, but that is where I can finally get an hour or so of sleep, with my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat holding her clawed hand in mine. A daughter's relationship with her mother is one that cannot be explained. I know my Mom's heartbeat from the inside. I will miss her every day for the rest of my life. I am madder than h#ll at my brother for dying and leaving me alone to deal with this. He better be ready to take her home.Even though I would love just five more minutes befure I let him have her.
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I have lost my parents and know what you are feeling. Don't blame the holidays, or let what is going on with your mother ruin them for you. Of course this year is filled with sorrow. Know that she will soon be in a place where pain, and stress will be ge, andnd amazing growth will be ther.e for her. She will be able to reunite with your brother, her own parents, and others who passed before, and who she loved. At my parent's funerals, I didn't say goodbye. I said "save me a place at the table whe we are together again". It is my belief that there is a life beyond mortality
For all holidays, I make somethig that each of my parent's loved, date-filled cookis from my mom, standing rib roast from my dad, bacon fat basted eggs from my stepfather, and pancakes, or poached eggs from my grandpa. It helps keep them close to me, though we are in seperate worlds at the present. Continue to give your attention to your mother. Even though she can't show it now, she will know it, and be grateful for a wonderful daughter. That it hurts right now is a blessing, as it so shoes you how strong your love for her is. Hold onto that in these difficult times. And temember, your father can't bear the thought of being without her, hence the denial. When reality sinks in, he will be quietly devistated, and will need your support as well.

I know you will weather this crisis. And prayer really does help.

Seeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
 
CWS4322 said:
I am sitting by my Mom's bed, as I have been for a week. She went into hospital while I was in Ontario. She is dying. My Dad is in denial. What I wish someone had told me was how hard this would be...
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CWS, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, and going it alone. Remember that if you did not love your Mom so much, it would not hurt so much. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you help your Mom leave for her new life.
 
Kayelle, I'm glad that the meds are working and you got a good report from your doc. Keep up the good work!

PF, be a good girl and behave yourself. You don't want to give the doc any more business than you have already. ;)

Oldvine said:
We got the higher dose vaccine and I had slight ache in my arm for about 24 hours, my husband felt nothing except the cold swab of alcohol. One case of the flu in my life time made a believer out of me... we get the vaccine
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It took me two consecutive winters with the flu in the early 2000s to send me for my flu shot each year afterwards. Oddly enough, those were years with limited public exposure. I never got the flu when I was a Girl Scout Leader, religious ed instructor, did food demos in a grocery store, or worked in a mall wrapping gifts. Christmas season was a real stew pot of germs, and yet I never got more than a little sniffle with no other symptoms. Odd. My arm issue was with the pneumonia shot. When I got the first dose, I could not lift that arm at all for 36-48 hours. My upper arm was pinned to my torso; all I could move was the lower half, looking a lot like a T-rex! :LOL: Thankfully, the second shot had no effect.
 
The bell rang at 1:00 p.m. Christmas Day...my dearly beloved Momma got her wings. I was so very blessed she was my Momma. My voice was the last voice she heard, the last touch she felt as I planted one last kiss on her forehead--and then she flew away. She was there when I took my first breath, I was there when she took her last. I will miss her every breath I take for the rest of my life.
 
Yes, you will miss her, and you know that she is again renewed. You will be with her again, and the reunion will be amazing, for you, for your Dad, and your brothe, and for all eaiting for you to jointhem, when it is your time to start the next phase of your life, the phase that takes you out of mortality.

Whole you are still here though, you are not alone
We are here with you. We are your frends. So go ahead and grieve. Do what's good for you.

When my stepfather passed, I was there. Iy hirt, a lot. When O finally was able to leave the hospital room, I walked out, and through the parking lot. I remember feelin the need to fight. Now inderstand that I'm the guy who would rather walk away from a fight, and be called a coward, than to hurt someone. So this was new to me. And yet, I was hoping to encounter some young-adult, punk who wanted to pick a fight. Fortunately, there was no one to fight. The poìnt of this is to show that extraordinary stress, like the that felt when someone close to you passes, can alter you , if only for a brief time. CWS, you are strog..be the kind of strong that it takes to allow others to help. Know that while I haven't the resorces to physically help, if you ever need some one to talk to, I'm here.

Seeeeya; Chief Lo gwind of the North
 
CWS4322 said:
The bell rang at 1:00 p.m. Christmas Day...my dearly beloved Momma got her wings. I was so very blessed she was my Momma. My voice was the last voice she heard, the last touch she felt as I planted one last kiss on her forehead--and then she flew away. She was there when I took my first breath, I was there when she took her last. I will miss her every breath I take for the rest of my life.
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CWS, I am so very sorry. I am here if you need a shoulder. Love You!
 
I didn't feel hurt. I cried until I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head, but I was so glad she didn't die alone when I was in the shower earlier or on the phone. She waited for me. I am so blessed she was my Momma--she was so loving, compassionate, caring, and dare I say--so frigging much FUN! She went so peacefully, not everyone is that lucky. I was afraid she would go into convulsions, etc. Nope, just one gasp, and she caught her wings. She flew before I had a chance to grab her hand and beg for five more minutes...I had had my five more minutes when I cuddled up in her hospital bed and held her hand and talked about the things I remembered and the the things I would miss and yes, I keened a dirge and wept...A neighbour happened to be here checking in on us and helped me wash and wrap her and send her off with blessings and prayers, and yes, tears. Everyone was so compassionate and gentle. She was so tiny and the gurney didn't fit through the door and they carried her as if she were their own Momma. The sheriff, the funeral home director, my Mom's doctor, the coroner, everyone.
 
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CWS4322 said:
The bell rang at 1:00 p.m. Christmas Day...my dearly beloved Momma got her wings. I was so very blessed she was my Momma. My voice was the last voice she heard, the last touch she felt as I planted one last kiss on her forehead--and then she flew away. She was there when I took my first breath, I was there when she took her last. I will miss her every breath I take for the rest of my life.
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You have my most sincere sympathies. You were the best daughter you mother could have wanted and you should have no regrets for that.

Best wishes and prayers for healing.
 
Katie H said:
You have my most sincere sympathies. You were the best daughter you mother could have wanted and you should have no regrets for that.

Best wishes and prayers for healing.
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Thank you for your kind words ad sympathies. No regrets. I would not have traded the 3.5 years of caring for her for the world--even though it meant I gave up my life. No regrets. So glad I could spend that time with her. So blessed. Not everyone can do that and I am glad I could.
 
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Sincere, sincere sympathies...


I so wish I had been able to be with my mom, my brother and my dad. It was not to be, there was and is nothing I can/could do to change it but in my heart I feel I could hug them one more time.

You have renewed that hug for me and I thank you and send hugs to you .
 
Well, the time has come to do something permanent about my persistent heart problems with A Fib.

After 5 cardioversions and 3 ER visits with two hospital stays since Nov. 26th, the time has come. Thurs. I will be having a permanent pacemaker implanted with an overnight hospital stay. Two weeks later, after the pacemaker is tested good to go, Jan. 27th they will do an AV Node Ablation with another overnight stay.

I'm expecting everything to go well, but admit to being a little anxious. It's astounding what can be done now days. I'm somebody who needs to know all the details with something like this and this article covers it all for anyone who may be interested.

https://www.melbourneheartrhythm.com.au/learn/procedures/14-av-node-ablation-and-pacing?showall=1
 
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