Etiquette Questions and Stories

[Claire]

I just thought this might be a good place to address these. So many young people now have been raised that etiquette simply does not matter, it is something for snobs. In fact, good manners are what enable us to live in close proximity to each other without breaking out in constant fights. What are your questions? What are your experiences? Pet peeves? What are those embarassing moments when you didn't know what to do, when, or where. Please remember to include your location if it isn't in your tag line, or if you were travelling, because what is acceptable at one place isn't in another.

 

[babetoo]

it really ticks me off that people don't send thank you cards anymore.

my son and daughter were raised to do so, but they don't.

none of my grand children do either.

how long really does it take to write a thank you card? mention how u are using gift and saying thanks. not so hard.


and the biggest one of all, not being on time. it says hey you don't matter.


babe

 

[larry_stewart]

What is strange is that we just had a big party for my son. He sent back thank you cards. And the people i work with seemed to be so surprised and happy that they received one. They said " oh, he didnt have to send me a thank you card". BUt I informed them that it was the right thing to do. What we also did, is instead of saying " thank you for the generous gift ...." We had him say something more along the lines of " thanks for sharing this special day with me, I t meant a lot that u were there......". I didnt want him to think it was all about the gift.

 

[Katie H]

I, too, am a thank you note stickler. Our children were taught to acknowledge all gifts. In the notes they had to make some comment on the gift itself, not just "thanks for the gift." More like "thank you for the beautiful scarf." They were never allowed to send "generic" thank yous. They had to be specific to the person and gift.

To this day, I have a packet of thank you notes in my desk drawer to use whenever anyone is kind enough to do something nice for me or give me a gift.

 

[Uncle Bob]

Do you in your location consider it poor etiquette to talk LOUDLY in a restaurant???? I do!!! I cannot fathom listening to a bunch of loud mouths two tables over talk like they are the only people in the place...!!!!!

 

[Mama]

Do you in your location consider it poor etiquette to talk LOUDLY in a restaurant???? I do!!! I cannot fathom listening to a bunch of loud mouths two tables over talk like they are the only people in the place...!!!!!

That and screaming kids! I love kids but so many times the kids will be screaming and the parents just ignore them. When my kids were young they learned how to behave in a restaurant. If for some reason, they would act up, we would apologize to the people around us, get to go boxes and leave. There is so much of this attitude where "no one matters but ME" in the world today.

 

[Uncle Bob]

There is so much of this attitude where "no one matters but ME" in the world today.

I call them the "Me Generation"

 

[Calya]

I definitely agree about screaming children. It seems that some people bring their kids out just so that they can go wild. I feel uncomfortable when my baby makes too much noise and take her outside until she calms down. Some people say I should not do that, and that it doesn't matter, but I think it does. Many people are not okay with a loud child during their meal, and they shouldn't have to be okay with it.
I don't mind loud children, as long as the parents ask them to settle down in a timely manner, and explain that it's not okay in certain places.

 

[DrThunder88]

I call them the "Me Generation"

I do too, but I be a pirate...and Roger Daltrey.

Faux pas don't bother me so much as outright rudeness. Some stuff like using the right fork and whatnot is meaningless to me whereas talking loudly at restaurants or during movies (I make an exception when it's a bad movie and I'm mocking it) just makes me want smack people with a canoe paddle. I rarely have a canoe paddle on me, so that means people are usually pretty safe and nobody wants to go canoing with me.

Also neighbors with noisy dogs. I realize not everyone sleeps during the day, but enough is enough. Silence your animal or keep it inside.

 

[larry_stewart]

we were once at a restaurant. The tables were so close that u can actually reach over and touch the person on the table next to u. Anyway, my wife and i were eating, minding our own business. At the table next to us was an older couple. The husband was sitting there reading a news paper, but a large one like the NY Times, and he was holding it upright, so you could not even see his face. And the wife was just sitting there looking around. We ( my table ) was served first, and all of a sudden, the woman from the table next to me reaches over, points to my plate ( finger about 3 inches from the plate ) and says, " oh, what is that, It looks really good". Now, just because her husband is ignoring her, I dont feel she has the right to put her dirty paws in my plate, invade my personal space, and start up a conversation. It was bizarre.

 

[Pook]

I have a load of pet peeves:
1. Screaming kids in restaurants
2. Idiots on cell phones in the grocery store line who make everyone wait until they finish their call before paying
3. Tailgaters
4. Co-workers who babble on and on about their personal problems
There are more...
Hugs,
Joyce

 

[LadyCook61]

neighbors who run the mower early in the morning.

 

[blissful]

People that don't signal because they are busy on their cell phones, people that drive erratic speeds because they are busy on their cell phones. Cell phones, cell phones, ummmmmmmm and cell phones, interrupting life. (restaurants, grocery stores etc)
I don't have a cell phone and don't want one, they are breeding at an alarming rate. If my car breaks down, I don't need one, I'll just use yours.

 

[Constance]

it really ticks me off that people don't send thank you cards anymore.

my son and daughter were raised to do so, but they don't.

none of my grand children do either.

how long really does it take to write a thank you card? mention how u are using gift and saying thanks. not so hard.


and the biggest one of all, not being on time. it says hey you don't matter.


babe

I agree with you totally, babe. Not only do my grandchildren not write thank-you notes, but the ones from our son's previous marriage don't even bother to call and let me know they've received their gifts.
And one of my dearest friends, whom I love to death, is not only always late...she's often as much as two hours late.

Many normally courteous people seem to transform when they get behind the wheel. I can't believe how many rude drivers there are on the road!

 

[texasgirl]

At the bank, there is a sign that says "Please have all documentation complete and ready to make transactions quicker"
Why do people wait to get to the window before filling out their deposit slips?? I was beside a girl the other day that asked for a deposit slip, then, while on her cell phone, filled it out, then seemed to have dropped the check or whatever and continued to talk on the phone while searching under her feet and beside seat, all the while the line was building behind her!!!
The one time I was out of deposit slips, I got it from them and drove out of line to fill it out and back around to the end of the line. What makes these people think that their transactions are the only ones important and that noone else has anything pressing to do after leaving the bank, like going to work or an appointment!! ARGH!!

 

[Elf]

blissful I can't agree more, cell phones are the bane of our life, most rudeness is centered on the use of the cell phone.

 

[Adillo303]

1) We have a co worker who does not speak to anyone when he arrives, unless he wants something. No hello, nuthin. we all feel that it is rude. I have searched and cannot find any information regarding the correct ettiquette for comming into a room with others. We all feel that hello is appropriate. He has been the office, just him and me, for over two hours and not spoken.

2) Screaming kids in a restauraunt - My wife and I were told one day that we are old since letting kids run and scream when they feel like it "Is the way things are done these days."

3) No shirt, no shoes - no service should be revised to no shirt, no shoes and cell phone put away or no service.

4) Thank you cards - Yup they shgould be written. OK - Concession to today an e-Mail. Certainly some type of appreciation.

5) I had an employee resign by e-Mail - I was livid. Have the decency to resign in person.

6) Sending jokes in the e-Mail is NOT keeping in touch. Send me a hi - how are you - things ar OK here - whatever. I had a n acquaintance tell me that they had not heard from me lately. I appologised and noted that I had not heard form then either. They replied, I send you jokes all the time.

 

[Bigjim68]

Some observations for the rude:
Your kids may be the love of your life. Right now that surf and turf, or theater ticket, for which I just paid a hundred bucks, is mine, please treat my love the way you would like me to treat yours.
I got in this express line because I was in a hurry, am paying in cash, and know what I want and need. Very few emergencies can be solved by immediately answering a cell phone that will not wait a few minutes for you to return the call.
Put on your makeup, read the paper, and/or return your calls either before you enter the freeway or after you leave it. I, too am in control l of a ton of metal, and I have enough trouble keeping up with mine without worrying about yours.
If you get in the exact change lane, please have your exact change ready. The time to ask the people in your car for a quarter each for the toll is before you get there. The attendant is not there to take your money after you realize that you do not have exact change.
The entrance to a building is for ingress and egress, not a spot for smoking or carrying on a conversation.
In short, courtesy and politeness are a matter of treating others the way you would expect to be treated. You wouldn't want me to bring a blanket and 6 pack to your kids soccer field and curse loudly at the umpires. I'm guessing that you count the items in my basket if I am going over the limit in the 10 items or less line. If a bunch of us were to light up cigars and block the entrance to your place of business, you would probably say something. And don't get me started on road etiquette.

 

[LadyCook61]

I was at the vet and there is sign posted : " Please turn cell phone off " and of course there is always a dummy who is talking on the cell phone ignoring the sign.

 

[Pook]

Grrrrrrr...cell phones!! I have one, but I don't always have to answer it. I keep it on vibrate because another annoying thing about cell phones is the dang idiotic ringtones!

More about phones: Goons who call you and instead of "Hello" they say, "Who's this?"
My reply: "You tell me. Don't you know who you're calling?"

We have a really nice coffeeshop here with free wi-fi and what's incredibly rude is people who play LOUD games on their laptops with the sound at full blast. No one wants to feel like they're sitting in the middle of a war zone.

People who peer over at your laptop in the coffeeshop to see what you're doing is really rude, too. I figured out how to stop them from doing that, though. I have a really gross video clip of a cat barfing up a hairball (complete with sound effects) and when someone leans over to see my stuff, I pull up the video real quick. What's really funny is when they say, "Oh, that's so nasty!" or something like that, I say, "Well, then, mind your own dang business, willya?"

We had houseguests (read: housepests) a few months back and I came home to find one of them, the wife, going through the drawers in my dresser. Now THAT is rude! I fixed her, though. A few well-placed rat traps and some bruised fingers later, she quit snooping.

People who read at the table when they're dining with others is unbelievably rude. I only do that when I eat by myself.

Housepests who won't help you clean because "they don't know how we like to do it" is really rude. Pick up a broom, stupid!

Someone who is visiting you and they use the bathroom and snoop in your medicine chest is horribly rude. I had a neighbor who did that constantly. I finally got fed up and crammed it full of marbles before she came over one day, and the racket of about 200 marbles hitting a porcelain sink and bouncing to the floor fixed that little problem.

Purrs,
Joyce Who Gets Even With Rude People